Reviews For Not a Good Bye
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 04/06/13 10:43
Chapter: The First & Last Chapter

Hi there. Thought I should return the favour and leave you a review. This is a sweet story. You've built up the characterisation of Frank very well here. He comes over as quite Nevilleish, but brighter and more immersed in books than his dad. Nice diofference because it stops him being a clone. Lily too has little bits of her Mum in here, and is very Weasley, but at the same time she's her own person, so well done on that. I thought the build up to the kiss and Frank's awkwardness was well played.

I did get a little confused with the timeline here. You speak of Frank and Lily knowing each other for seven years, so I presume they're both seventh years (especially as she organised the party), but then you mentioned Frank being friendly with James, who must have been at least three years older than him. Because of the hair ruffling, I assumed it was Lily's brother, so if it's not, it might be wise to change the name.

Ha ha - I liked all their friends in the bar waiting for them to kiss. How embarrassing, yet how Gryffindor of him to kiss her anyway in front of them all.

Well done and good luck in the challenge. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the advice! I guess you're right, it was a bit confusing.. :) It means so much to me, that somebody actually read something I wrote, so thank you again!

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