Reviewer: iLuna17
Date: 05/15/13 21:04
Chapter: One-shot

Hey, Pooja!

I can’t believe I haven’t read this until now. It provides a very interesting look into Rose and Scorpius’s relationship, as well as the opinions others had on their relationship. I loved how it started out relatively happy and fluffy, but then the cracks appeared, and by the end it had descended into complete brokenness. It showed great progression, and showed all of the faults and wonders of each character, Rose and Scorpius especially.

I thought the style choice here was interesting. It alternates between description and dialogue, which gives the reader a nice break from both, and it simply flowed nicely. We could see where Rose was more lost in thought, and where she was completely attentive to the scene. I also loved how it sounded like a teenager; the language wasn’t too poetic or too plain… it was just like she was talking to us. I thought that was really cool (for lack of a better word).

The characterization in this piece was certainly interesting, Rose and Scorpius especially. I loved how we saw all of Scorpius’s faults at once - his teasing of Rose, his mistakes early in their relationship - but also his strong points. I had suspicions from the moment that Hugo said he beat up that Matt kid that he had done something horrible, and I was right. I just loved seeing Scorpius’s dedication to his cousin, because it was obvious he felt the same about Rose (except in a romantic way). It shows itself beautifully at the end, when he refuses to let her walk away. On Rose: I think you really captured a teenage girl’s reaction brilliantly in the piece; she’s completely devoted to Scorpius, but slowly she learns things she doesn’t want to, and eventually it all breaks at once. I could see her forgive him for one or two mistakes, but once it hit three she was done. But she didn’t scream at him, and I thought that was great. Especially with a relationship so drama-packed at the moment (perhaps too dramatic with the multitude of mistakes Scorpius made at times), I love how Rose truly kept her head until they were alone. It said a lot about her character, and how much she loved Scorpius.

One of the most intriguing bits of this piece, though, was Hugo and his side-plot. While I confess I haven’t read his love triangle one-shot, he too is an incredibly complex character. At first, I thought he was merely looking out for Rose, but then he became almost malicious. While it seemed slightly unlikely Hugo knew all of that about Scorpius, you explained it with his family and friend connections. And after hating him for doing that to Scorpius and Rose, I felt sorry for him again. The love triangle side plot was very interesting, and it explained all of his motives. He’s in love with someone in love with a bad person, and if Annie and Matt do ever get together, he’s going to be in for a rough time. Honestly, I can’t decide whether or not I like this Hugo, but that’s a good thing, I suppose. He’s incredibly well-rounded, and he fit both the victim and the villain in this, which is definitely hard to do.

My absolute favourite part, though, was the ending. After everything was shattered in pieces, Rose and Scorpius still managed to pull through. It honestly said so much about their relationship, and I adored how Scorpius kept repeating ‘I love you’. He was desperately clinging to the hope they could work it out, and I love how he wouldn’t give up. It proved he was good after all, even after everything was revealed. I especially loved this: “Say that again,” she breathed, shutting her eyes and feeling his wet forehead against hers. The rain was still pouring down in torrents, and for a while, as they stood like that, foreheads connected, and hands held, the sounds of the rains seemed to be the only sounds all around.” There’s just something incredibly powerful about that moment, how they weren’t kissing but it was so incredibly intimate. It was just beautiful.

Overall, I just really enjoyed this piece. It was an interesting and complex dynamic between the three main players, and it was hard to pick out who was at fault at times, which I enjoyed. The world isn’t black and white, after all. Thank you so much for being an incredible SPEW buddy, and I hope to see more of this canon from you. :)

Ellie

Author's Response: Hey Ellie!

Sorry I took so long to respond to this, but gah, this review! I was so, so happy when you posted it, and re-reading it now brings all that happiness back and wow, thank you so, so much! :)

I should probably say something awesome and intelligent at this point about my writing process, but nothing is ever going to match up to that review. I will be honest, though -- I didn't plan any of that. I just knew the plot, and I wrote as it flowed. I usually pay more attention to my writing style and everything, but I really hurried with this fic (I think I just managed to finish it on time for the deadline). So the dialogue-description alternation is a coincidence, hahaha! Nothing makes me gladder, though, that you perceived it that way, and that it worked. I guess, sometimes you've just got to write on a whim, eh? :)

A lot of what Scorpius did is based on a lot of relationships I've seen. Well, all the guys didn't do exactly what Scorpy did in this one, but... you get the gist, don't you? And I just wonder, how after so many mistakes, so many problems, people still manage to maintain their relationships. We often react to someone's character flaws in ways we shouldn't, without understanding the reason behind those, and that is what is happening here. I had Hugo be protective of his sister, but also have another reason to hate Scorpius -- that he indirectly hurt the girl he was in love with. As for Rose, I matured her a little -- I don't think she's the type to create a scene in front of everybody anyway, plus I wanted rain-kissing, ha, so I got her to walk away and then break apart later on. :p

The Hugo thing is a whole other story, haha. I wrote that one first, actually, and then wound this around that. If you must know, things do go badly for Hugo. Annie chooses Matt, not realising Hugo loves her, and well, that story is about exactly how much Hugo has to struggle when the girl he loves is with the worst guy anyone can think of. You should really pity this Hugo. He's looking out for his sister, and he doesn't have any malicious thoughts while he's doing what he doing. He doesn't even get anything at the end of it all. The poor kid. :(

I often write my Scorpiuses as stubborn prats, and I love writing him like that, haha. The rain-kissing, the 'I love yous' were for pure fluff, as this was a Love Note for Nadia, only improvised some, and I think the candy heart was the rain kiss. And she adores ScoRose, so I thought she'd like some fluff for them. :)

I am so, so glad you enjoyed it! I usually aim specifically at giving my characters their flaws, I suppose, because I have a phobia for Mary-Sues, which may or may not be a good thing. Thank you so much for this wonderful, in-depth analysis of a fic I really wanted some feedback on, but hardly received. I am extremely sorry about the delay in my reply, but you should know that I loved your review, and thank you so, so much for this! :) <3

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 04/02/13 20:31
Chapter: One-shot

What a damn shame this has no reviews! What is wrong with readers around here these days??
I suppose part of it is knowing this is paired with another fic they may not have read. Yet I haven't read it either and I had no real trouble following this story. The events referred to felt like backstory and gave it depth. And - most importantly - it made me curious about Battered Hearts, which I did go and read (so that review is next.)
So first of all, I love the idea of the Potter/Weasley clan celebrating in the RoR. I've done that in some drabbles and I think it's plausible and perfect. I loved that the were celebrating their cousin's success too.
As I was reading, all I could think of was what an utter prat Hugo was (actually, that wasn't the word I was thinking, but as I've already dropped one bad word here, I'll refrain, lol) I guess he's just looking out for his sister but wow, he was rough on Scorpius here. Having read Battered Hearts, however, I can safely say I like him, but I'll write about that there. :)
That all said, everything Hugo said was true, wasn't it? He just didn't know the whole story. And Scorpius explained it all, so I never really held it against him. There's just something about him that I like here. Maybe it's because he chased after her in the rain to declare his love. It is a bit cliche, yes, but it's still one of the best things to write, rain kisses. The whole scene outside was very visual for me - I could picture it perfectly and it was intense.
Yet best of all, you didn't wrap it up neatly. Yes, Rose kissed him back, but she did tell him it would be a bit before she could work it out. She wanted to, she would, she just needed time. It wouldn't have worked if she had forgiven him on the spot, I think, so good job realizing that, but still concluding it with hope.
I enjoyed it and am glad I read it and am now going over the BH to leave that review. Nice job and good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Haha, I posted this on FFN and it did get more attention there. :p I guess the readership here is just going down, but thank you for reviewing! :)

I have mentioned in the beginning that both fics work independently, so I have no idea why this didn't get, haha, but never mind, I wrote this a long time, and am over it :p. I'm so glad you think the backstory gave it depth. I wanted just enough so that readers wouldn't get confused, but nothing spoilery. This one takes place about two years before BH, though. :)

I'd like to think that the P-W clan gels well without too many issues. It is, however, really nice to write them together. I love me some family fluff. I think it may have developed more after SPN, but I always loved it. Family-oriented fics are awesome. :D

Hugo is a poor thing, really, and I'm glad you got to BH and got to know exactly how much he's suffered. I feel bad for inflicting all that much on Hugo. And yes, everything he said was true. Scorpius has been as immature and idiotic as Hugo has pointed out. The rain kiss though, was part of the prompt, and it had to be there so I just fluffed it up, hahahaha!

Oh dear, I have a problem with endings. I can never leave them be. I always twist something up and let it go there and then it's all weird, haha. I didn't think she should have forgiven him then either, but she does, as you saw on BH, so I let it go, haha. Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Gina, and sorry about the late reply! :)

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