I did like the story, a lot. I've always thought that Teddy and Lily would have a close relationship, and I think it's quite natural that Lily would fall in love with him - or at least think she had fallen in love with him. The way you've written this, I feel like she will be able to get over it and fall in love again, because it is a bit like a childhood crush. But nonetheless very painful, I felt so bad for her.
And yet I couldn't hate Teddy, because you made him so adorable and I think he handled the situation, which was awkward for both of them, in the best way possible. It would be so much easier to tell someone you didn't care about at all that you didn't love them, rather than having to tell Lily, who he seems to love like a sister, and he knows how heartbroken she will feel.
I liked the relationship you showed between Lily and Ginny as well - it seemed natural that Ginny would be able to read her daughter - or at least tell that she wasn't happy, even if she didn't know the reason - and knew how to be there for her.
I loved the last paragraph, I think it finished the story off really nicely, and I liked how you put in the title - it fit really well, and I also think the idea that "he girl beneath the stars who won’t think he hung them in the sky anymore" works well, because it shows some of the childishness of the relationship - as in Teddy was like an older brother who knew everything sort of thing. Sorry I'm really not explaining that well...
Anyway, I loved the story, I thought the characterisations were perfect and so was the writing - I really felt for both the characters.
I think you managed the love not "LOVE" speach from Teddy very well. ;) An awkward topic, but a wonderful story.
Most of us have been there with our embarrassing, unrequited crushes, and I think most people would be lucky to have an object-of-affection like Teddy, who cares about Lily a lot, to do what he can to soften the blow.
The topic is awkward, yes, but so is liking someone in that way who likes you in a totally different way. Kind of like being friend-zoned. Thanks for reading!
It is rather sad, isn't it? When she says she waited for him, but he never saw her. Oh sigh - you're so cruel. And yet at the same time, how could one not be happy for Teddy? You wrote him so genuinely happy to be with Victoire that it was lovely to read, even while you ripped out our hearts with Lily's heartbreak. I didn't read the original Lovenote, but it expanded into a great story. Good luck! ~Gina :)
*sigh* I do seem to spend an inordinate amount of time torturing characters for others' entertainment, don't I? Anyway, when you think about their age difference, it is highly unlikely that anything between them would work, especially because they are basically related. It just makes it awkward and unlikely.
Of course, Teddy is still happily married...just unhappily administering a measure of truth to someone he cares about. Sure, it probably puts a bit of a damper on his night, but at the end of it, he's still married to Victoire and would've done the same a thousand times over. Just...crappy situation, I guess. It's my thing. >.<
Oh I think you captured the tragedy of unrequited love so well, Jess. My heart went out to both Lily and Teddy. I'm curious if this fits into the canon of any of your other fics.
I really loved this, Jess :3
I think we've all been there, and we've all known how much it sucks to love someone who is in like with you. :/ It was an impossible situation for both of them. As for other canon, no this doesn't particularly fit with any other story canon of mine, as Teddy is 28 in this and not dead. (yay) Thanks for stopping in. :DDDD
EEP, my review got deleted by mistake. It's a good thing I always copy the text once before submitting, heh.
Anyway, Jess, I was determined to make this one SPEW-ly. However, I find that I'm flailing again, and possibly crying a little bit this time, because this is so beautiful, I hardly have words, which is why this is going to be a very haphazard review.
I noticed this when we did the LoveNotes, and well, I won’t lie, all your drabbles there deserve to be fics, because they’re all incredibly amazing. This was very sad as a drabble, and though this isn’t sad as a fic, it is very touching.
The first thing that struck me here is how you've taken up a scenario that almost everyone on this planet is bound to experience. First crushes can be awful. Well, there are always the lucky people, but I certainly wasn't one of them, and this got those terrible, but sweet memories back. I do, however, feel worse for Lily Luna here because it must have been terrible watching her first *love* get married, much less fall for someone else. It is such a hopeless situation, and I think her emotions are so well written, starting from the beginning, where you’ve compared the discomfort she experienced at the tightening of her dress to the pain that she’s experiencing because Teddy is getting married. The thoughts were also fantastically drawn out -- especially in that part where Victoire is hugging Lily, and she in turn is struggling with the single thought that she doesn’t want Teddy and Victoire to get married.
Teddy and Lily’s relationship is so sweet. His nickname for her, ‘Ladybug’, is adorable, and I also loved the fact that he can make her smile with such ease. The part of the story that takes place at the swing was my favourite. I loved that Teddy knew where Lily had gone, and that he followed her there. The whole conversation after that was lovely -- with Teddy explaining to Lily how he felt about her, and how he loved her very much, but in a different way. And then, at first, I didn’t understand why Teddy would kiss Lily, because it didn’t make sense to me that he would tell her that she was his goddaughter, and then kiss her, but then I realised what you were getting at when Lily pulled away. I guess the kiss explained more to Lily than any talk would have. She realised that this wasn’t meant to be, and that Teddy was right about her being able to find someone else.
I loved the characterisation too -- Teddy was sweet and understanding, and I loved that he didn’t kick up a fuss, or freak out much when he found out what Lily felt. Also, I think in the part with his point of view, you’ve actually shown the difference between his love for Lily, and his love for Victoire. I loved that. I could actually clearly make out how he felt woman. The moods during his time alone with Lily, and then Victoire are similar, and yet drastically different. And Teddy mentions to Lily that she will meet a man who will see her as the only woman in the world, and then, we actually see that in the end, Teddy has eyes only for Victoire -- he’s regarding her as the only woman in the world. That shows how much he loves Victoire too. Lily is determined and sensitive, and very loving, and I’m sure, after this, that she’ll find someone else. Maybe a sequel? :D
My beta had once explained to me the importance of actions in a story. She told me that it helps the reader build a rapport with the characters, and I see good use of these actions here -- especially when Teddy was pushing Lily while she was on the swing, Your writing style is awesome, and the words you’ve used are perfect for an emotional bonding with the characters.
This was lovely, Jess! The 3000-word piece of pizza cheese I wrote just an hour ago now looks useless in comparison. Hehe. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you! :)
Sentimentally sweet. Observant. Complete. I would have changed one thing: the final kiss between Teddy and Lily. He should have kissed her cheek, maintaining his position as godfather and new husband to Victoire. The kiss on the lips was inappropriate.
I think we've all had that crush that would never happen, and sometimes we're the last ones to know that they'll never happen. It's not difficult to draw inspiration for this kind of scenario. And I think Lily deserved closure in this, but so did Teddy.
As for the kiss, I had it as a cheek kiss in the first draft, but I changed it for a specific reason. Teddy knows what it's like to be in love with someone who loves you back, and he knows the difference between 'just a kiss' and a 'real' kiss. The former is what it is, and the latter is something special; he needed to show her that no matter how much she loved him romantically, he just didn't and never would. I tried to convey that in the narrative, but maybe I should go back and poke it a bit and clarify that. Maybe it was inappropriate, but in the end, it was effective. Lily was the one who broke it off because she understood that. Teddy will probably tell Victoire about this one day, but only when he is sure that Lily has healed and moved on. At that moment, it wasn't his secret to tell.
Anyway, thanks as usual for the visit and the review. :D
Ugh - reliving the pain of my first unrequited love right now. Very well done. I love the relationship you've given Teddy and Lily, and the way you show how much love he has for her, even if it isn't the kind she is hoping for. I really enjoyed reading this.
I think we've all been there, although it makes it more awkward when it's someone who not only feels the same way, but is in a place in life where they never will (happily married to someone else, for instance). I wanted things to still be good between them, but I think both of them know that something's been lost that they won't get back because of this. Lily was perfectly willing to never tell him, but he had to go and insist. :(
Anyway, thanks for reading. :)
Very well written, though not exactly fun. I feel so sorry for Lily.
Well, it's not fun at all when your first love doesn't love you back in that way, and considering how uncomfortable it was for him, I think Teddy wouldn't have forgiven himself if he didn't put an end to it right then.
Anyway, thanks for reading and for the follow. :)