I really liked the way Lily talked, the way Scorpius talked, the way Frank talked, ... I thought all the dialogues perfectly showed the stubborn side of Lily, and despite I saw all that, I really came to love Lily herself. I loved the way you pictured her, I can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you -- that is very nice of you to say. I think Lily is my favourite to write, and I tend to get attached to her, so I am glad that you like the way she is pictured. An update is coming very soon. Thanks so much for the review!
Frank is a tool. He doesn't get to break up with her and then tell her who she can and cannot sleep with. *smacks Frank in virtual face*
I do kind of agree with baby54boomer though. A little more information can go a long way to help your reader really care about the characters. But then, I have to go to long-ass chapters anonymous meetings, so maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice on length v brevity.
Good chapter, more Scorpius in the next one please!
Author's Response: What does it say about me as a person that the word 'tool' still makes me giggle innappropriately? :)
Moving forward, I do think you're both right. And I hope I can amend it to your liking in future.
More Scorpius to come, for sure. Thanks for reviewing.
I hope that future postings are in multiple chapters. The heightened conflict becomes tiresome when the reader is left without resolve too many times.
So Frank and Lily have history?? Perhaps a bit more infomation, please? And how does Scorpius play into Lily's life...is he a true foil to Frank or will he court Lily into a lasting relationship?
Author's Response: Thank you for the honest review. I understand what you're saying, as material length is always something I debate over in my head. I think normally I err on the side of shorter attention spans (like my own), but I suppose I didn't consider your point, so it's definitely noted. I will go into further detail of Frank and Lily's history, and Scorpius' role in Lily's life will also become pretty evident.
Thanks for reviewing.
Oh, I'm back to disliking Frank again - ha ha ha - although I'm guessing he's said all of that for a reason and perhaps some of it's true.
Great chapter. It was lovely to see Lily at work and to find out what she'd been like at Hogwarts. I hope she manages to find a job/career she likes.
Oh, and I want more Scorpius. It's still who I'm shipping her with!
Author's Response: Ooh yay, glad you enjoyed it. More Scorpius is soon to come! :)
Thank you again for reviewing.
I really like it so far! I'm a fan of Lily/Scorpius, especially when there's an effort made to make them their own people and not just their parents' children, if that makes any sense. Anyway, your doing very well with it so far and I look forward to the next chapter.
I really like Neville. And what happened to Hannah? Did she die? Did she leave? Poor Neville, he's had it hard enough already.
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! It does make sense, what you said about them being not just their parents' children, and I'm glad you think Lily and Scorpius are reading as their own people. I don't even think Draco would have wanted Scorpius to be just like him. I have a secret soft spot for him where I just know he redeemed himself through his son.
Poor Neville, indeed! I swear I don't hate him. I was wondering if someone would ask about Hannah, but I can't answer just yet. ;)
Thanks for reading, I'm so glad you like it so far!
OH NO!!!!! You've just slain me at the end and I honestly have tears filling my eyes. And perhaps I don't dislike Frank any more.
Great chapter. I really liked that she had a a one night stand with Scorpius (although I'm hoping it will lead on to much much more - ha ha) because it stops the 'good-girl' image we have of Lily.
I really loved the dream and the lead into the liquorice smell. Neville and Harry in this story were so well characterised.
Enjoying this story. Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Oh yay! Is it wrong to be excited over your teary eyes? Haha.
Isn't it a rule in writing that if you love your characters you put them through hell? I'm glad the chapter could change your mind regarding Frank even without him being directly involved.
I am so excited you are enjoying this so far, I am always hesitant to post, because I end up being so critical over it. So you've just made my day!
OHH, I like this. I love Scorpius/Lily as a pairing, anyway, (and write it a fair bit) but sometimes hesitate to read it because so often the characters turn out to be Draco and Ginny re-incarnated, but you've made them different.
Scorpius is very debonair. Still noticeably a Malfoy with his snark and a certain amount of calculation, but he's also his own man with his honesty.
I liked Lily here. Not too innocent, but still appealing. And I do like that you've made Frank Longbottom the villain of the piece (unless there's a double bluff coming) because Neville and Hannah'#s children are so often written as sweet and fluffy - ha ha.
Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Oh gosh, how is it that out of all the lovely stories I've read by you I have never ran across your Scorpius/Lily? I am making a mental note to do that -- I don't know why, I just love the idea of them together.
Glad you like it so far, thank you for your review!