MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: generalcategory (Signed) · Date: 03/17/17 3:48 · For: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco
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Name: Wenlock (Signed) · Date: 04/29/14 23:22 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
As usual, your writing is excellent.
This story was particularly good because it was unique.
Also, even though JK didn't write it, it has become a part of my version of canon.

Finally, this brings "Weasley is our King" out in a whole new light. =)

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I have to admit that I giggled a lot at the Weasley is our King connection - hee hee.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 11/11/13 15:27 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
That was very interesting. I liked how you tied that all together. Weren't the Weasleys supposed to be related to the Blacks, way, way back? Very funny that the Malfoys and Weasleys would be related with this storyline. Somehow I feel that Elizabeth was not at all concerned that Lucius had cursed her. I'm happy that Ebeth is able to see her son grow up.

Author's Response: There's pottermore canon to support this pairing, which was that the first Lucius wanted to marry her then cursed her so she'd remain unmarried when she refused him. I decided that she didn;t want to marry anyway - ha. That was in fact th whole inspiration for the story. Thank you for reviewing.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 11/08/13 17:09 · For: Chapter 4 - Prisons
That last sentence said it all. That is so true--if you don't know you have a choice your choices can't be ranked. I wonder what happened to Lucius' thumb. Interesting that magical people weren't always able to Apparate.

Author's Response: Oh, he Splinched himself, that's what happened to his thumb. Mmm, I had a thought that magic develops and spells are invented so possibly Apparition hadn;t been around forever. Also it stopped Kat being able to Apparate to see Elizabeth whenever she wanted. Thanks for the review _Carole

Name: minnabird (Signed) · Date: 11/06/13 11:35 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
That was amazing, Carole! You worked the wizarding world into the story of Elizabeth so well - it just seems to fit. I don't know much Tudor history, but I did see some when I was looking up the dates, and I like how you worked in the rumor that Elizabeth had had a baby - and the idea that Elizabeth's red hair survives in the Weasleys is certainly interesting. The characterization both of Lucius the first and Elizabeth was really well done, and I loved the way their relationship changed over time (well, not in a 'this is nice' way, but it really held true to their characters, as a Malfoy and the Virgin Queen respectively). All in all, this story took an intriguing premise and did not disappoint.

Author's Response: Thank you very much, minna. Oh, now, then, I don't remember the rumour that she'd had a child, but did think the fact she was incarcerated for so long was a good opportunity to introduce that part of the plot. And, thing is, I really couldn't resist Tudor genes being the reason for the Weasleys red hair - ha ha ha. ~Carole~

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 10/25/13 11:53 · For: Chapter 3 -Legilimens
It seems like a waste to not teach Elizabeth how to use her magic. I remember Robert and wonder how often he's been able to visit Elizabeth.

Author's Response: Kat does teach her a little bit of magic, but they're living in dangerous times and both of them could be executed if guilty of witchcraft. Robert, according to history, was a childhood friend of Elizabeth's and she saw him often, but he did marry and as a fifth son he wasn't a suitable candidate to marry Lady Elizabeth. Thank you ~Carole~

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 10/21/13 16:37 · For: Chapter 2 - The Falcon's Daughter
This puts a different slant on the king's many wives. I see that the elder Malfoy doesn't have white blonde hair at this point. Is there some Veela in the Malfoy family?

Author's Response: I didn't really factor in Bella as a Veela, but she has blonde hair as her heritage is North Italian. Thank you very much for the review. ~Carole~

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 10/21/13 16:12 · For: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco
I can't help but think about Draco's father when I hear the name Lucius. I guess there's no harm in that. Sounds like the princess has magic. This sounds like an interesting although everything I've read by you is interesting and well-written.

Author's Response: Well, the first Luicus Malfoy is canon, albeit from Pottermore, but JK said he had a 'connection' with Elizabeth I, so i decided to write a story about it. Thanks for the review. ~Carole~

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 09/06/13 16:39 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
Lovely, Carole, simply lovely. What a chapter to end this story.

The love scene was written delicately yet with the right amount of passion one would expect from two such fiery characters. And I had the feeling he would impregnate her. I was there-fore wondering how you'd make it work that she gives birth to a child when historical records clearly state she had no offspring. Your solution was as clever as it was simple.

What surprised me completely was to which family Kat gave Arthur (great choice of name, by the way, so very unassuming as well as magically connoted). Does that mean that Ron actually is a descendent of Elizabeth I? The Weasleys all have flaming red hair and you described Arthur to have red hair rather than be blond like Malfoy or Elizabeth which makes it sound like Ron actually is. Merlin! If only he knew... (which I suppose no one does as Kat surely would not have told Mr and Mrs Weasley whose son the baby was, and when both Kat and Elizabeth died, they took that secret into their graves, right?) (Incidentally - geroff, muse! - Ron being a descendent of Elizabeth I is a quite inspiring idea.)

On the one hand I'm sad Elizabeth didn't marry Lucius. The two seemed a lovely couple if they didn't argue. Also, the vision that with the royal family being magic was a really nice one that I would have loved seeing explored. However, on the other hand, I'm very glad Elizabeth decided to decline Lucius as he had more and more become like the Lucius Malfoy we know from the books. He is a proud man who would never have stood aside to let his wife rule, even if she was the rightful queen and he only prince consort. I can fully understand Eliza-beth's motives to decide against marrying him, politically as well as personally.

To sum up: Carole, this story is brilliant. Very well written, very time-appropriate in terms of language and voice of characters, and fascinating in regard to plot and plot twists. Simply superb. I applaud you.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for all the reviews, Bine. It's been great reading them.

I shall explain a few things in this response. Basically, I wanted this story to be as historically accurate as possible (I was limited with research dur to time constarints) but there is also canon information. On Pottermore, JK Rowling states that the first Lucius Malfoy wished to marry Elizabeth but she turned him down. He was supposed to have cursed her so she'd remain unmarried, but I decided she didn;t want to marry anyway.

There was, sadly, no way that Elizabeth could have gone to Hogwarts, as I wanted this to remain accurate, so her magic is undeveloped, partly down to Kat's magic surrounding her.

Oh, Elizabeth had red hair like Her father, so yes, that's where the Weasleys got their red hair from. The fact that they're also related to the Malfoys made me laugh a little. Also, and this was deliberate, I had it in mind that although Elizabeth's 'Arthur' would never be king, his great great lots of great grandson would have a song sung for him because ... 'Weasley is our King' etc etc.

Thank you again. I had such fun writing this story which was thought up on the way to a fancy dress shop, so I'm pleased you enjoyed it. ~Carole~

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 09/06/13 14:07 · For: Chapter 4 - Prisons
Wow, you really keep me on the edge of my seat. First she declines Lucius when Edward tells her he has been discussed as possible husband, and then she accepts him with arms wide open. She's quite moody, Elizabeth, no? lol Though that keeps the story going and interesting.

The end made me a little sad, that she was not allowed to enter Lucius's world at all where she would have been happy.

And now on to the final chapter. I wonder what you have in store now.

Author's Response: Well, there was four years between her dismissing the thought of marrying Lucius and then accepting him. Under her brother's reign, Elizabeth led a far safer existence but locked up and in fear for her life, she was, as Lucius knew, very vulnerable. Thanks for the review ~Carole~

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 09/06/13 13:49 · For: Chapter 3 -Legilimens
I'm really enthused of how neatly you weave in all those historical facts while keeping the story set in the magical world. You must have spent a lot of time doing the research, especially in regard to the names, time and places. Simply marvellous.

Pity that Elizabeth wasn't allowed to Hogwarts. She would have loved it there, I'm certain. (I wonder what house she would have been in...) But that would have meant making her being a witch known wider than might have been good for her.

A little curious that Mrs Malfoy supports her son's friendship with Elizabeth when she doesn't think much of Muggle-borns (and half-bloods too I assume). Is it Elizabeth's status that makes her so interesting to the Malfoys? Or does she hope that by being favourable to the princess who might one day become queen, Elizabeth as a witch herself might abolish any and all laws restricting magic? Really curious indeed.

On I go...

Author's Response: I think she'd have been a good fit in Gryffindor or Slytherin, actually. I picture Anne as a Ravenclaw because she was supposed to be fiercely clever, although she was so manipulative that she could have been a Slyth. Elizabeth was a very astute person and that's not something I necessarily attribute to Gryffindors, but she was very brave, so ... jury is still out - ha ha.
,br> Okay, the other thing about the Malfoys, that's Pottermore canon, is that they did marry into the higher elements of society, doing anything for power and money. It was only when the Statute of Secrecy came in that they denied they'd ever married Muggles or half-bloods. Bellona is a Malfoy by marriage and is very scathing of anyone not of pure-blood but she's also a realist, the Malfoys want power, and marrying her son to Elizabeth would be the best way of achieving that.

Thanks again ~Carole

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 09/06/13 13:13 · For: Chapter 2 - The Falcon's Daughter
Woot, Elizabeth's a witch! Now things shall become especially exciting.

I would have hoped that she learned the truth gently, but maybe it wasn't so bad that Lucius blurted it out like he did. Also, the scene where she made flowers blossom reminded me of Lily showing her sister what she could do.

The story about the falcons is fascinating. I wonder though: Was Anne an Animagus? Or did Elizabeth mean a one-time transformation when asking why her mother didn't just transform to escape the execution? I think the latter, though the former would be interesting as well.

Now, on to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Elizabeth didn't really understand much about magic, and so didn;t know that you had to be an Animagus to Transform. Also, Kat tells her later that if Anne had used magic then she couldn't have saved Elizabeth. The falconry theme is actually true as Anne's symbol was the falcon. Thanks again ~Carole~

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 09/06/13 12:17 · For: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco
Carole, my dear, this is an excellent first chapter. Both setting and voice of the narrative sound very Tudor-like, and the descriptions about places and wardrobe made me feel like I was watching a movie about the Tudor era rather than reading a fanfic.

I like your characterisations. Elizabeth especially has a very peculiar voice, and her carefree yet feisty behaviour was shown beautifully by how she acted and reacted. Lucius too has a remarkable voice. He reminds me a little of the Lucius Malfoy of the 21st century, though with noticeable differences in behaviour because of his age and the time period.

What I absolutely loved, however, was how nicely you interwove the magical component. Certainly are the Malfoys well-known pure-bloods, but that both (former) Queen Anne and Elizabeth's governess were witches, and possibly Elizabeth herself too, makes for a very in-teresting catch. I had wondered how Mrs Malfoy knew the governess and would never have guesses at her and Kat having been friends from school. (By the by, is Bellona Mrs Malfoy's first name? I couldn't quite see a definite answer.)

With the conversation between Elizabeth and her governess in the second part, you grab the rest of the reader's attention and make him want to continue reading. I am certainly more than just wondering whether Elizabeth really is a witch and whether she might even go to Hogwarts - I'm actually wishing that is the case. But to find out I'll have to read on, which I will of course do.

Thanks for such a delightful beginning.

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you read on. Bellona was Mrs Malfoy's first name, yes. Sorry, this is a rubbish response, but I replied more fully in the last review. ~Carole~

Name: The_Real_Hermione (Signed) · Date: 04/07/13 21:34 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
I really love this story, Carole. It's really different to a lot of fanfiction, and you've really researched the Pottermore canon as well as the real history and made them fit together seamlessly in this... plus adding your own parts to the story.

I loved your characterisation of Elizabeth. She was obviously a remarkable woman and had a huge influence on history. I liked how you showed her as strong and someone who knew her own mind, but also fragile at times, and always curious.

I thought Lucius was interesting too - I thought it was interesting that you made him aware of his mothers' hypocrisy in sucking up to muggles when she actually thought herself superior, because of course he does the same thing - he may feel some affection for Elizabeth, but most of his actions are out of his ambition and desire for power. Nonetheless I thought their relationship was very believable, and I liked the way you showed their changing feelings as they grew up.

The falcon and peacock imagery also worked in beautifully and really added to their characterisations.

I also loved your ending and how, even though Lucius curses her to being alone, Elizabeth is emancipated through her own choices. And I am inclined to agree with you that she wouldn't have cared about Lucius' curse.

It was quite funny when I came across this story... I have just spent the last week doing an assignment on Elizabethan poetry and the underlying powerplay between Elizabeth and her courtiers. Anyway that's sort of unrelated... the point is that I really loved this story.


Author's Response: Thank you, Katrina. I have to admit to getting very caught up in this story. I've always been fascinated by that period, so when I discovered a connection on Pottermore, I couldn't wait to write a story. I thn got very caught up in the research and there was so much more I wanted to add, but couldn't because of the challenge constraints. I'm pleased you enjoyed the story and appreciated Elizabeth's emancipation. I sometimes think that had Elizabethe married her reign would have been a lot shorter because it would have been hard finding the right spouse. Remaining single and playing off possible suitors was a shrewd thing to do. In this story, Lucius could have kept her on the throne but I dounbt he'd have been good for England.

Thank you so much for the review ~Carole~

Name: locanena (Signed) · Date: 03/10/13 1:13 · For: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco
Great story! I love it.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I enjoyed writing it. :) ~Carole~

Name: hestiajones (Signed) · Date: 03/02/13 12:54 · For: Chapter 2 - The Falcon's Daughter
Hmmm. Does Henry know about the Malfoys? What exactly is the position he holds in the court? I'm finding these a little unclear D: But that may be due to my ignorance about how the Tudor court - or courts of those times - worked.

I'm really enjoying this, Crolololol. I especially love Elizabeth. Her scene at the garden with Lucius reminded me strongly of Lily and Snape.

Author's Response: Hmm, perhaps I need to clarify things. Basically people at Court didn't necessarily hold a position as such (although many of them did). I meant by 'position' his standing at Court and the respect he holds and the benefits of being a rich person at that time. Henry knows the Malfoys but not that they're magic. I discovered when researching this that Henry was the first King to bring in an Anti-Witchcraft Act in 1542/ random.

Thank you for the reviewwwwww. ~Croll

Name: hestiajones (Signed) · Date: 03/02/13 12:35 · For: Chapter 1 ~ Pavone Bianco
OH GODS. VERY INTRIGUED. Also, it just struck me that you haven't called me "cowbag" in a while...

Author's Response: I would never call you cowbag; it's a CALUMNY! Thank you very much for the review. ~Carole~

Name: Ruchira_M (Signed) · Date: 02/28/13 22:24 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
In the name of St.Ottery, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? (although I guess the moment she named him...)
So did Lucius love her at all? Or was it all ambition?

Author's Response: Mwahahahahah - Sorry, I just loved the idea that the original Arthur Weasley was related to the Malfoys and that the red hair came from Elizabeth. This Weasley won;t be a King, but his great great-lots of great- grandson will have a song written about him - heh heh heh.

I think Lucius did love her in his own way. She was certainly the one he wanted, but he was ambitious and manipulative. I think, also, that Elizabeth loved him a little, too, but didn;t want to be under any man's thumb, as it were.
br> Thank you for all the reviews. ~Carole~

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 02/28/13 20:55 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
Eeeeppppppppp! I did NOT see any of that coming! WOW! What an ending!

First of all, I didn't think Lucius was that manipulative. I guess I wanted to believe better. Yes, he seems genuinely fond of Elizabeth, but it's like that was just a lucky coincidence because he's still manipulating her (or trying, anyway) and using her and just pah. Stupid Malfoys. >.<

Then the part with Elizabeth getting pregnant, and having a child, and giving it up, and naming it Arthur! GAH! Is that a rumour you came across in your research, or all fiction? It's so sad! But then--the family Kat placed him with! Omg! THAT WAS SO COOL!

Seriously, what a lovely, delicious, touching, appropriate, and just plain old neat twist. I loved it. It was just so...unexpected and yet perfect when it happened. Of course the Weasleys got their ginger hair from Elizabeth!!

But then you bring it back to reality with the bit about the curse. I did not know that was on Pottermore, so kudos to JKR for thinking it up, but more kudos to you for working it in so naturally. Very, very cool.

Sorry if I keep using the word cool. It's just the only word my limited vocabulary can think of, which sort of sucks because it's definitely an out of era word for this story!

So let me try to be more articulate.

I think you've done a great job with this. It caught me up from the very beginning. I know next to nothing about the time period, but could sense your research was deep. Writing in this style and time seemed almost effortless for you. Your own interest for the time really came through. I could really see you doing more--dare I say OF??--in this time period.

I loved your characters. I know they were historical figures, but by bringing them into the Potterverse, you made them your own, and completely believable at the same time. Elizabeth, Kat, Lucius--even the minor characters leapt off the screen. Well done.

I loved the story so very much, Carole. Wonderful job. Congrats on something really, really unique!
~Gina :)

PS. I am sorry I've fallen behind on your others! I will catch up soon!

Author's Response: Thank youuu. I am so pleased this works from the persepctive of someone that doesn't know the time period at all. It was touch trying not to info dump but knowing certain things needed explaining.

There were rumours at one poiint that Elizabeth had had a child with Robert Dudley, or had at least become pregnant and then miscarried, but historians generally agree that it was just gossip, so I doubt it happened. I just saw this window in her life where she was locked up, and if no one could get in except someone who could Apparate ... Mwahahahahahahahahahha.

Lucius was idiotically manipulative, but that's Malfoy's for you. I think if he'd been less blatant and less manipulative, then Elizabeth might have married him. And yes, he loved her, or at least he wanted her more than anyone else.

I am really sertiously considering an OF version of this. It really did suck me in, buit do need to take a step back, I think, and assess what I've got here. There was so much I could have expanded, so I need to look at that first.

Thank you so much for your reviews, they really have been much appreciated.


Name: Redwing (Signed) · Date: 02/28/13 17:48 · For: Chapter 5 - Love
AHHHHH! What a perfect twist! Much love for the idea that a Malfoy was the unwitting forefather of the Weasley line, and that Elizabeth's magic lived on. And I'm glad that Lucius was a bit of a jerk at the end, so I didn't feel as bad about him and Elizabeth not ending up together.

Author's Response: He was a jerk! ha ha - yeah. I couldn't have them marrying, although that could have explained why Elizabeth never did marry, I suppose. I always had their last scene in my mind from when I first thought of the idea, so everything was always heading for that point.

I'm not sure who'd be more upset, present day Lucius or Arthur realising that they're related - heh heh heh.

Thank you so much for all your reviews. ~Carole~

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