Hello again, Soraya!

I shall try to leave a better review this time; something that sums up your entire story. However, the way this fic has ended has removed any hint of coherence from me and I’m as lost for words as ever.

I thought this fic was a character study of Rose more than anything else, which spoke of a few snippets from Rose’s life. The focus was on Rose’s vacillating emotions, and her romantic dilemmas; plus her relationship with her family -- her father and Albus, more than anyone else. I was glad to plunge into the depths of this study and discover more about this canon character, who has actually got a very minor role in the books, but is still very important in the Potter fandom.

I liked the detached style in which the prose was written. It didn’t move as a continuous story, but you picked up important points of the plot and expanded upon them. This way, the story moved fast, and I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything either. Style-wise, this was more-or-less similar to your other fic, ‘I Will Lay Down My Heart’. It had the quiet subtlety about it. And it is amazing that you’ve maintained the style from your last fic, because I’ve read your other fics too, and you seem pretty versatile as an author. There wasn’t much dramatization of anything, and yet, there was enough drama in the fic itself. The parts with the smut were sexy, and very sensitively handled. The emotions during all those points were accurately written, and were very convincing.

The story itself is so sad. Poor Albus. I knew this would happen, to him, of course. I was aware that Rose would end up using Albus, but I still wasn’t prepared for it as it came. The emotions are expressed so sharply and beautifully, and I can relate to what Albus is feeling at the moment. In the same way, it’s easy to relate to Rose. Since the story is from her point of view, I love how her thoughts are so well expressed in narrative. An example of this is this particular line: Rose hated it, and in a way, she wished she allowed for Scorpius to transfer rather than both of them acting so miserable around each other. Not for the first time, she wished she hadn’t thrown herself into such a relationship in the first place. This points out to Rose’s state of mind very well. I can feel her dilemma, and the sadness, and Rose’s own misery over the break up is palpable.

The reason for Rose and Scorpius’s break-up was sad too. Now I’m half-wishing they’d continued, because they seemed so great together. I especially loved Scorpius. He sounds like such a good person – such a sweetheart, if I may. I can certainly imagine him as a great father. And I loved how you gave him those tiny quirks, like, he’s obviously a cleanliness freak, and is very punctual, judging by how he folded Rose’s clothes on the morning after, and later resisted her so they could get to work on time. It’s very evidence as to how particular he is about everything. And his grief over Ophelie is well portrayed. It’s subtle, but it’s there, and I could see that he was trying so hard to master his emotions there. It’s not fair that later on, he had to lose Rose too.

Rose, was being selfish in parts, but is basically a very good person. I loved that she wasn’t always at the top of her class, and that Scorpius crossed her sometimes. I also love her annoyance at this fact. It reflects a part of Hermione in her. But she’s an independent person, both as a teenager and as a grown woman, and I liked her for this. I also liked her bluntness at some points. She had a different voice from Albus and Scorpius, and it felt good to read her. I do wish she’d not decided to use Albus in the end, though. Yes, she is sad, but that doesn’t mean she can hurt the only person who is so understanding when it comes to her.

Albus, on the other hand, has a small role, which is actually a very big role. He’s such a nice character. He’s really mellow and loving and caring, and that’s why I feel bad for him. He is, of course, very recognisable from the epilogue. And I hope that he finds someone in the future. Someone who isn’t Rose, because in my opinion, she doesn’t deserve Albus.

Plot-wise, the events leading to Rose and Scorpius getting together, and then Rose and Albus having their own union, were very convincing. I enjoyed the scene at Fortesque’s, and the fact that Scorpius had been trying to impress Rose made me grin. After that, everything that led to the particular night that followed -- Scorpius getting upset and leaving, Rose accidentally Apparating with him, and then the talk about Scorpius’s grief, etc, were good building blocks to the smut. The tension just seemed to gather, and the sex had to happen; and once again, this was all palpable.

As for Rose and Albus, I could understand the sadness that Rose was going through, and I also happen to know what Albus was feeling at this point, from your other story, but I felt the progression was very natural. This doesn’t seem like a good step to take for either of them, though, and I know that at some point, it’s probably going to come back to bite them both; maybe just after this.

The Burrow scene was fantastic. I liked the subtle hint of LouLily there; but the best of all was the part with Ron in it. I somehow always imagine that Rose was closer to Ron when she grew up. However, I think while Rose and Hugo were kids, Hugo must have been closer to his father. I can certainly imagine Hermione expressing herself in ‘fifty words instead of five’, and Ron being the opposite. And I loved how Rose was able to communicate with her father, though, and it was so like Ron to ask Scorpius to get out like that! Good characterisation there.

You also put a lot of effort into the details. Each location and setting is carefully written. It’s not something a reader usually pays attention too, but it was easier for me to picture the series of events from here because of all the intricate detailing. It was a fantastic feast to my mind. There was also a particular line towards the end, relating to Albus’s eyes, which was very well written : At that moment, he opened his eyes, green bleeding into brown,. I liked this line because of the imagery it provided, and as I’ve mentioned, the intricate details.

Now I’m hoping you’ll follow this up with a sequel. I really want to know what happens to Albus and Rose, and whether Rose and Scorpius do ever patch-up. They were so great together.And poor Albus; I do hope Rose falls for him, and if not that, I hope he gets someone else. Oh, I really want to know what happens next. :)

Thank you for this wonderful story, and all the best for the cotillion!
Pooja

Author's Response: Pooooooojaaaaaaaa :D I am so sorry for the delay in replying. The truth is, your review was so fabulous that I couldn’t even think of an adequate response, tbqh. Thank youuuuu so much :)

It means so much to me that you think the ending of this was that good. I think the ending needed work and I will probably go back to it and edit later, but thank you so much. *heart* The story was definitely meant to be a character study of Rose. In I Will Lay Down My Heart, I think I needed to explain a lot of Rose’s character, so yeah, I’m glad you liked that :) Certainly Rose is a very minor character in the books, and maybe it’s not the best storyline for her, ha. (I mean, I made her a bit of a byotch, lol.)

Re the style, I really had no idea how I wanted to write this. The thing is, the first part of this was written ages ago, and the rest was written pretty sporadically — like I had a whole section written from about a year ago, ha, so I was rather worried it wasn’t consistent. I’m glad you liked the style, then, and wow, I’m really glad you thought I could maintain the style. And YAYYY, I'm glad you liked my smut :D I actually have no idea about the emotions, lol, as all of it was written not from experience :P

The reason for Rose and Scorpius’s breakup is, I admit, kind of stolen/inspired by The Mentalist. Basically, two people in The Mentalist had a relationship even though having inter-office romance was strictly against the rules, and when they were found out, they were given an ultimatum: for one of them to transfer, or for them to break up. I did love Scorpius in this :) I wrote him a bit in Blood and Roses, and I did enjoy it, so it was nice writing him again. Also, yussssss, I have a thing for cleanliness freaks. Don’t ask, lol.

I’m glad you liked Rose and Albus’s characterisations, too. Rose was a byotch on the surface, but yeah, she is essentially a good person. Albus is a better person, I guess, and he totally deserves a good person. :(

And again I'm so glad you liked the smut, lolol. I wrote that bit during a cancelled Maths lesson, but it was so much fun, haha. And I tried to keep Loulily to a minimum, ha, because too many cousin pairings = a broken brain.

Also, yes, I always imagined Ron would react badly to Scorpius and Rose being together. Possibly the reason Rose was closer to Ron than Hermione was because Rose was so similar to Hermione, so she was closer to the person most different from her?

I'm really glad you liked all the details and that you liked the whole story! I have more plans for these three, but I'm just not sure when to write it, tbh. I will one day, though, because it’s not the end, definitely not.

Anyway, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu so much for the fabulous review, Pooja. My response is totally inadequate and incoherent but I heart you so much, my lovely. ♥

Soraya xxx