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Reviews For One More Night

Name: cacata (Signed) · Date: 04/12/14 20:46 · For: Chapter 3
Aww, man. This story makes me cry. Poor Albus. Please let him have a happy ending one day/

Author's Response: Haha, I'm sorry I made you cry. (Not really, hehehehee.) Thank you for the review, and I hope Albus finds the right person for him one day too. :)

Name: Maple_and_PheonixFeather (Signed) · Date: 07/15/13 17:18 · For: Chapter 3
Hey Soraya!

This was a very exciting story that got me really involved in the characters and relationships and thrust me into Rose's head in such a way that everything was painted with her perceptions.

One of the things that I liked most about this story was the fact that you made me ship Scorpius and Rose, even though I hate that pairing normally. The chemistry you managed to convey was extraordinary, and I was just so convinced from the Potions lesson that they were bound to be together - even though I knew that this was an AlRose romance. The banter between the two of them was perfect and felt so real. What I also really enjoyed was that they grew to end up together in the second chapter. It wasn't a quick thing - they developed a sort of weird friendship first. This really helped give them an emotional connection, rather than just a physical one.

I don't know whether you meant to do this or not, but throughout the story, I just didn't want Albus and Rose to get together. For me, I felt really attached to Rose, and it felt like she didn't want them to get together either. Throughout the story, there were subtle hints on how crushed Albus was and how much he loved Rose, but I just really didn't care about how he must have been feeling at that time. In the scene in the Three Broomsticks, where Rose is upset and Albus is trying to keep himself together and support her, I felt bad for Rose. I liked Albus for being there to listen, but I really didn't care that he is trying very hard not to seem upset. I think this is because you really managed to paint the world through Rose's perceptions, making it so I only saw things the way she saw them.

What was striking about this story is how very one-sided Albus and Rose's relationship seems to be. It's clear that Albus does really love Rose, but Rose is really just using him to get over Scorpius. In the end, it feels like their relationship is just bound for failure (which, if I'm thinking of the right story, it will fail). Even though this is an Albus/Rose romance, it's almost like the antiromance, as there is really no hope that I can see for the couple. I think that you really show this in the way that Rose is constantly comparing Albus to Scorpius, and whenever she does, Scorpius' way is always better.

What I loved about this story was how well rounded all of the characters are. Rose has her bad habits, Scorpius has his quirks, and Albus just sits there and listens. It's interesting to see how Scorpius and Albus react to Rose's personality traits. For Scorpius, he almost controls them, like not allowing them to be late or not letting her smoke on the bed. With Albus, he bends to her habits and is almost afraid to contradict her or offend her. With him, it's like she can do no wrong.

It's not only the main characters that you make so realistic, but also the minor ones. Lily's character is so well solidified as being forceful and being the one to diffuse situations, as we see with both Albus' and Rose's fight and the awkward dinner at Nana Weasley's. I also liked your subtle hint at a Louis/Lily romance. For someone who has read enough of your writing, it gives a slight moment of relief. I definitely smirked when I read that. I also thought that you really managed keep Ron's and Hermione's characters in line with their characters in the book. I especially found this effective in Hermione, as he speech patterns very clearly echoed the way she speaks in the books.

This was a lovely read, Soraya. You really managed to get me involved in Rose's emotions, which is what writing is all about.


Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 03/02/13 9:32 · For: Chapter 3
Hello again, Soraya!

I shall try to leave a better review this time; something that sums up your entire story. However, the way this fic has ended has removed any hint of coherence from me and I’m as lost for words as ever.

I thought this fic was a character study of Rose more than anything else, which spoke of a few snippets from Rose’s life. The focus was on Rose’s vacillating emotions, and her romantic dilemmas; plus her relationship with her family -- her father and Albus, more than anyone else. I was glad to plunge into the depths of this study and discover more about this canon character, who has actually got a very minor role in the books, but is still very important in the Potter fandom.

I liked the detached style in which the prose was written. It didn’t move as a continuous story, but you picked up important points of the plot and expanded upon them. This way, the story moved fast, and I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything either. Style-wise, this was more-or-less similar to your other fic, ‘I Will Lay Down My Heart’. It had the quiet subtlety about it. And it is amazing that you’ve maintained the style from your last fic, because I’ve read your other fics too, and you seem pretty versatile as an author. There wasn’t much dramatization of anything, and yet, there was enough drama in the fic itself. The parts with the smut were sexy, and very sensitively handled. The emotions during all those points were accurately written, and were very convincing.

The story itself is so sad. Poor Albus. I knew this would happen, to him, of course. I was aware that Rose would end up using Albus, but I still wasn’t prepared for it as it came. The emotions are expressed so sharply and beautifully, and I can relate to what Albus is feeling at the moment. In the same way, it’s easy to relate to Rose. Since the story is from her point of view, I love how her thoughts are so well expressed in narrative. An example of this is this particular line: Rose hated it, and in a way, she wished she allowed for Scorpius to transfer rather than both of them acting so miserable around each other. Not for the first time, she wished she hadn’t thrown herself into such a relationship in the first place. This points out to Rose’s state of mind very well. I can feel her dilemma, and the sadness, and Rose’s own misery over the break up is palpable.

The reason for Rose and Scorpius’s break-up was sad too. Now I’m half-wishing they’d continued, because they seemed so great together. I especially loved Scorpius. He sounds like such a good person “ such a sweetheart, if I may. I can certainly imagine him as a great father. And I loved how you gave him those tiny quirks, like, he’s obviously a cleanliness freak, and is very punctual, judging by how he folded Rose’s clothes on the morning after, and later resisted her so they could get to work on time. It’s very evidence as to how particular he is about everything. And his grief over Ophelie is well portrayed. It’s subtle, but it’s there, and I could see that he was trying so hard to master his emotions there. It’s not fair that later on, he had to lose Rose too.

Rose, was being selfish in parts, but is basically a very good person. I loved that she wasn’t always at the top of her class, and that Scorpius crossed her sometimes. I also love her annoyance at this fact. It reflects a part of Hermione in her. But she’s an independent person, both as a teenager and as a grown woman, and I liked her for this. I also liked her bluntness at some points. She had a different voice from Albus and Scorpius, and it felt good to read her. I do wish she’d not decided to use Albus in the end, though. Yes, she is sad, but that doesn’t mean she can hurt the only person who is so understanding when it comes to her.

Albus, on the other hand, has a small role, which is actually a very big role. He’s such a nice character. He’s really mellow and loving and caring, and that’s why I feel bad for him. He is, of course, very recognisable from the epilogue. And I hope that he finds someone in the future. Someone who isn’t Rose, because in my opinion, she doesn’t deserve Albus.

Plot-wise, the events leading to Rose and Scorpius getting together, and then Rose and Albus having their own union, were very convincing. I enjoyed the scene at Fortesque’s, and the fact that Scorpius had been trying to impress Rose made me grin. After that, everything that led to the particular night that followed -- Scorpius getting upset and leaving, Rose accidentally Apparating with him, and then the talk about Scorpius’s grief, etc, were good building blocks to the smut. The tension just seemed to gather, and the sex had to happen; and once again, this was all palpable.

As for Rose and Albus, I could understand the sadness that Rose was going through, and I also happen to know what Albus was feeling at this point, from your other story, but I felt the progression was very natural. This doesn’t seem like a good step to take for either of them, though, and I know that at some point, it’s probably going to come back to bite them both; maybe just after this.

The Burrow scene was fantastic. I liked the subtle hint of LouLily there; but the best of all was the part with Ron in it. I somehow always imagine that Rose was closer to Ron when she grew up. However, I think while Rose and Hugo were kids, Hugo must have been closer to his father. I can certainly imagine Hermione expressing herself in ‘fifty words instead of five’, and Ron being the opposite. And I loved how Rose was able to communicate with her father, though, and it was so like Ron to ask Scorpius to get out like that! Good characterisation there.

You also put a lot of effort into the details. Each location and setting is carefully written. It’s not something a reader usually pays attention too, but it was easier for me to picture the series of events from here because of all the intricate detailing. It was a fantastic feast to my mind. There was also a particular line towards the end, relating to Albus’s eyes, which was very well written : At that moment, he opened his eyes, green bleeding into brown,. I liked this line because of the imagery it provided, and as I’ve mentioned, the intricate details.

Now I’m hoping you’ll follow this up with a sequel. I really want to know what happens to Albus and Rose, and whether Rose and Scorpius do ever patch-up. They were so great together.And poor Albus; I do hope Rose falls for him, and if not that, I hope he gets someone else. Oh, I really want to know what happens next. :)

Thank you for this wonderful story, and all the best for the cotillion!

Author's Response: Pooooooojaaaaaaaa :D I am so sorry for the delay in replying. The truth is, your review was so fabulous that I couldn’t even think of an adequate response, tbqh. Thank youuuuu so much :)

It means so much to me that you think the ending of this was that good. I think the ending needed work and I will probably go back to it and edit later, but thank you so much. *heart* The story was definitely meant to be a character study of Rose. In I Will Lay Down My Heart, I think I needed to explain a lot of Rose’s character, so yeah, I’m glad you liked that :) Certainly Rose is a very minor character in the books, and maybe it’s not the best storyline for her, ha. (I mean, I made her a bit of a byotch, lol.)

Re the style, I really had no idea how I wanted to write this. The thing is, the first part of this was written ages ago, and the rest was written pretty sporadically — like I had a whole section written from about a year ago, ha, so I was rather worried it wasn’t consistent. I’m glad you liked the style, then, and wow, I’m really glad you thought I could maintain the style. And YAYYY, I'm glad you liked my smut :D I actually have no idea about the emotions, lol, as all of it was written not from experience :P

The reason for Rose and Scorpius’s breakup is, I admit, kind of stolen/inspired by The Mentalist. Basically, two people in The Mentalist had a relationship even though having inter-office romance was strictly against the rules, and when they were found out, they were given an ultimatum: for one of them to transfer, or for them to break up. I did love Scorpius in this :) I wrote him a bit in Blood and Roses, and I did enjoy it, so it was nice writing him again. Also, yussssss, I have a thing for cleanliness freaks. Don’t ask, lol.

I’m glad you liked Rose and Albus’s characterisations, too. Rose was a byotch on the surface, but yeah, she is essentially a good person. Albus is a better person, I guess, and he totally deserves a good person. :(

And again I'm so glad you liked the smut, lolol. I wrote that bit during a cancelled Maths lesson, but it was so much fun, haha. And I tried to keep Loulily to a minimum, ha, because too many cousin pairings = a broken brain.

Also, yes, I always imagined Ron would react badly to Scorpius and Rose being together. Possibly the reason Rose was closer to Ron than Hermione was because Rose was so similar to Hermione, so she was closer to the person most different from her?

I'm really glad you liked all the details and that you liked the whole story! I have more plans for these three, but I'm just not sure when to write it, tbh. I will one day, though, because it’s not the end, definitely not.

Anyway, thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu so much for the fabulous review, Pooja. My response is totally inadequate and incoherent but I heart you so much, my lovely. ♥

Soraya xxx

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