This was an interesting piece. I never would have thought of shipping Quirrell and Trelawney, and this was an interesting take on it. I love how it followed them both through their relationship, yet still managed to stay canon.
The style of this was quite different when given the characters you chose. It’d bounce back and forth between pure conversation and internal monologues, which I imagine were difficult. It’s hard to get into a character like Trelawney’s or Luna’s head and maintain a balance between in character and lucid, and Trelawney seemed very comprehensive in this. She’s quite perceptive, which is believable, but there was still that slight ignorance of the world around her, and it showed. I especially liked how time flitted, as for a character like Trelawney I imagine it would. The story was told rather quickly, and I would have liked to see some more of their actual romance, though. I think it could have been expanded slightly, and maybe use more descriptions to go with dialogue. Touches and certain looks can say a lot, and really make the chemistry seem real.
I thought the characterization of both Trelawney were interesting. I’ve never really seen her as a person who truly needs human contact, so it was different to see her so fixated on Quirrell, even when he was a student. She seemed extremely invested in every conversation she had with Quirrell, when in canon we generally see her go off into her own head more often. This could be a result of the years after he left, but it seemed slightly unlikely that she would completely focused. Quirrell was also shown very differently from what I’ve seen; I never really saw him being interested in Divination. He seemed completely geared towards DADA, though without the experience. I think you showed his fear quite well, and I thought his ambitions to be an Auror were a nice touch, but his fascination with the subject seemed slightly off. His O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. marks did make it seem more believable, though.
One of the most intriguing pieces of this was the relationship. Not only was it borderline Student/Teacher, I would never have even thought of this ship. You took two characters on the complete opposite end of the spectrum and somehow got them together. I loved how their love was slightly like Marius and Cosette in Les Mis: they weren’t very focused on physicality, and they simply got lost in their thoughts of each other. It was very sweet, especially the letters, and a far cry from how we see him in Philosopher’s Stone. But because of their pure innocence, it made him falling prey to Voldemort so much more believable, though it did leave me to question their romance. Up until they got together, they seemed to have a very professional relationship, and then suddenly… they got together. I loved how impulsive it was, but it did seem a little unlikely to me.
I really liked the touch at the ending, about why Sybil was fighting. That was always a mystery to me, and this provided a nice explanation, while pulling it all together. She lost the only person she’d ever truly cared about to Voldemort, and now she was fighting to save others. There’s something so noble about that, and it just fit Trelawney for me. I also adored the explanation of her death obsession, because of the impact he’d left.
Overall, it was very interesting, and I commend you for taking on such a dangerous pairing. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks!