Reviewer: TeamCedric
Date: 03/03/13 22:08
Chapter: the turning point

Ok stop it now; channelling Shakespeare through JKR? You're spooky good. I especially like "Thy icy voice betrayeth not a whit/Of warmth or care; it hath a callous tone." I like your comments too, that Lily gets to live in warmth but Snape must live in the cold.

Author's Response: Thanks! The summary took about as long to draft as the poem took to write (though not edit), actually--although that was because I originally wrote the poem as non-FF in like 15 minutes, lol.

Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 02/03/13 12:31
Chapter: the turning point

A wonderful idea, and well done. One suggestion: in line 4, you want to say "tarriest", not "tarrieth", because the verb ending for the second person singular is -est. The ending -eth is for the third person singular. You have it correctly further on in that line, where you say "thou dost" (instead of "thou doth" which would be a mistake), and in the second line where you say "thou hast" (rather than "thou hath", which would be a mistake).

Author's Response: Thanks for catching that! I don't actually know how to write medieval English; I just winged it, lol. I'm glad you liked the poem!

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 01/27/13 17:54
Chapter: the turning point

You llama, you! :) What a fun way to use Shakespeare! Teehee! I really enjoyed it!

I wonder what you think of my own depressing fanfiction poetry.....

To quote my favorite movie: "Yay! I'm a llama again!" (The Emperor's New Groove)

Author's Response: Oh, I only know about llamas from the llama song. (Don't look it up. You'll hate me forever.) My third cousins twice removed (or something) own an alpaca farm, though. Your poetry is nice. I mean, yeah, I'm not always partial to depressing stuff, but I just like how they're written--you use vivid language. I remember one of yours that I really liked, about a person in a portrait... I think I do too much poetry that is very candid/write-like-you-talk, which is why I'm trying to branch out.

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 01/27/13 9:53
Chapter: the turning point

Are you William Shakespeare, though?

Well done. I really like this. You've nailed the tone of Lily and the language of the original poem. What I think is clever is that the meaning here is so very different from the original, which is a love poem, essentially, whereas this is a hate poem. (Hmm, maybe not hate, as not sure Lily hated him, but she hated what he'd become)

Great job. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh, yeah, I'm Shakespeare, too. ('Cuz he totally writes Harry Potter fanfiction.)

You noted that the meaning of the poem is really different from the original. In fact, my inspiration for this poem was exactly that: "What if I rewrote this famous love poem as a hate poem?" It was only later that Lily and Severus came to mind, and when they did, I had to change a few things in the poem so that it would reflect more complicated feelings of anger, pain, and betrayal, instead of just outright loathing...Oh, yes, and writing the language was a lot of fun. Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES