When I started reading this, for whatever reason, I read it in the voice of a soft spoken girl. I little like Luna Lovegood's in the movies. So when I started to read the entire story, and what was happening to this girl, I just felt so bad for her. The story didn't need any warnings, and for that it was all the sweeter; just honest love. However, that made it all the more heartbreaking too.
Awww, this was so sad, Nora! D: But it was so well-written, too. Well done on a strong fic -- you had nothing to worry about, by the way, because I would never have guessed taht this was your first SSP. I thought you did a fabulous job of putting across unrequited love in this fic. I also can definitely see how Eloise may have misconstrued Hannah's words, which just makes it even sadder :(
But I think your biggest strength in this fic is the imagery -- it;s not necessarily poetic in all places, but the images you create are so strong and make the story all the more vivid. I think you did a great job in getting into Eloise's mindset and establishing her voice here, too, and I just hope she finds someone who loves her back one day, because I do like your portrayal of her. Excellent fic, dear!
Author's Response: Sorayaaaa <3 Thank you so much! I'm SO glad you liked this. Writing it even made ME a little sad, actually! I'm glad that Eloise's voice worked. In the future I think I'll write something else that gives her a happier ending - there's a couple of characters who I think I could see her with in her future. Again, thanks for the review. :) ~Nora
Oh! This is really rather sad and sweet and poignant, Nora. I really love the very real relationship and feelings you portray here between Eloise and Hannah.
The parallels between the two girls both losing their mothers is a really good idea, as both are marked by tragedy. Eloise comes across as such a lonely girl and my heart went out to her when she kissed Hannah. I wanted her to find something, but sadly it wasn't to be. Hannah was so sweet, though, and I was very pleased she didn't shout at Eloise but was honest with her.
I need to point out a small error. Eloise mentions going back to Hogwarts and not seeing Hannah in Potions. Unless Eloise is a Ravenclaw, then she didn't take Potions to NEWT, and Hannah certainly didn't because Ernie was the only Hufflepuff in that class. (Also Hannah's surname has two 't's and not one.)
It's a lovely story, and I do wish you the best of luck in the challenge with it.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much, Croll! I'm really glad you liked it. And - I can't believe I spelled Hannah's last name wrong. I'll fix that... Thank you for reviewing! :) ~Nora
This is one of those stories you need to read twice. Then it all starts to make sense.
Author's Response: Well. I hope that's a good thing ... thanks for reading though. :)