Once upon a time... uh well, actually not too long ago, I read another fic by another author on the same situation: Hangman by littlebird. While the two fics are very different in tone and mood, I think both manage to do justice to this phase of their life, and especially to this day.
You wrote Ron's shifting moods very well, how cheery and positive he can be without the locket and how he can immediately go sour once it's back on. But I thought Harry and Hermione was great, too! And the of plum cake? Genius! Hahaha! I may have to try that out someday.
This is a memorable fic, Pooja. I love it for its genius, but also because you wrote it without sugarcoating anything :)
Author's Response: Really? I wanted to read 'Hangman' but it slipped my mind somehow. I must read that, then. Thank you for letting me know!
Ron'd moods were the most difficult to write, to be quite honest. I needed the thought processes to change abruptly, and yet maintain Ron at a bearable level. I also wanted this to be a little fluffy, and to bring a smile to the reader's face without compromising on the situation at this point. So yes, I am very, very happy that you think it worked well! Harry and Hermione were easier because I didn't have to write much of them, ha, but I'm pleased that you liked them too.
As for the plum cake... :D. I might actually try it at some point too, ha! And, well, nothing in life is ever sugar-coated, is it? We have to take it as it comes. ;) Thank you for the review, Natalie! <33333
As an avid reader of all things Ron/Hermione, I think you managed to pull this one off spectacularly. I loved the bittersweet tone this exudes, and I think that it was one of your best Ronmione stories to date.
You managed to clinch my attention with the very first line, for it was hilarious and so much like Ron. It paves the way to the rest of the story in a very casual manner, making the readers feel comfortable with the setting. Starting with the second paragraph, however, by showing Ron’s irritation at the situation, you have managed to justify why he ended up forgetting Hermione’s birthday. I can start to feel his plight at your use of phrases like “breakfast was a luxury they couldn’t afford,” and lines such as “all three of them were perpetually hungry and on edge, and, to add to it, they were clueless about the Horcruxes.” It helps the readers to understand the bad situation they were in, and why Ron was so snappy and forgetful. Furthermore, it’s much easier to relate with the situation in the books when you used the example of Hermione’s weak tea, for it sounds real and something Hermione might be doing at that time. It was great to see how you managed to keep it real and in parallel with the book.
“You… oh.” She bit her lips and looked about. “Oh, it’s nothing. Bye.” -- this line brings about the sympathy of the readers, for you helped bring out Hermione’s hurt feelings. It was smart of you to use the phrase “spoke out to him unsurely”, for it matches Hermione’s character quite well. Your characterization of Hermione was excellent throughout, including how she didn’t kiss Ron but kissed Harry’s cheek at the end -- it reminds me of the CoS movie, and even though it’s not canon, it reminds me so much of Hermione :).
Moving on, you managed to fascinate me with Ron’s idea on the plum cake. It was so sweet of him! Forgetting Hermione’s birthday is something Ron would do, but by showing that he decides to make her a cake all by himself shows how well Ron is maturing. Actually buying the bread for Hermione’s sake was a very nice gesture, as was flipping the hot toasts with his bare hands. It shows how much he cares for her and deeply contradicts with what Hermione said previously about Ron having the emotional range of a teaspoon, and I think that this story shows a part of Ron’s development to the boy who didn’t want the house-elves getting hurt.
I think you have managed to capture Ron’s angst perfectly with the last few paragraphs. I sort of felt like crying when I read the line “That ought to earn him a kiss… one kiss.” Poor Ron! With the use of this, you’ve managed to reveal how desperately Ron wanted Hermione to like him back. His anger at Harry for giving Hermione the gift, as well as Hermione kissing Harry’s cheek, both show his fear that was already established in the book, and your development towards it was well done. I think we know now where his jealousy came from! Furthermore, with your use of the sentence “Be the bigger man again,” you have managed to sum up Ron’s insecurities quite well, and it shows his anger very strongly. Despite of him knowing that it was the locket, somewhere deep down I believe that Ron really was deeply troubled about this. You managed to foretell the impending troubles they’ll have to go through. The last few paragraphs overall sets a much darker tone, deeply contrasting with the first sentence, while the last line shows optimism, changing the tone once again and making the readers feel hope. Overall there was a very interesting transformation of the atmosphere, and it was a great way to end the story.
Thanks so much for the fascinating read, Pooja, and I’d love to read something equally captivating. A sequel, maybe, with Hugo and Rose helping him wrap a present for Mummy? You write next gen well, and I believe that will be wonderful indeed. Good luck!
You potray Ron's conflicting emotions very well. ;)
I liked this one.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Ron, and that you enjoyed this. :)
Sweet story. I was rooting for Ron for Hermione to kiss him as well. However, this is better as it allows the kiss in DH to remain as *the* one. Well done. cj
Author's Response: Hahaha, if they'd kissed now, there'd be no fun in the RoR kiss :p . I'm pleased that you enjoyed the story, though. :) Thanks for reading! :)
This story made my day! Beautiful! :D
Author's Response: Aww, and this review just made my day! Thank youuu! :-)
Oh, pooor, poor Ron. What a shame he had to go and put the locket on (whatever the honourable reason, it really messed up his hopefully happy ending).
Lovely story, Pooja. I think you got into Ron's head very well especially when he and Harry were making their 'cake'. Ha - that is such a strange concoction, but I reckon Hermione was really pleased with it. Shame she didn;t kiss him then, sigh.
Good luck in the challenge. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Yayy! Thanks for the review, Croll! Tess, poor Ron! I wish Hermione would kiss him already! But yeah, the locket did ruin his chances, didn't it?
I'm so glad you liked this, Carole! I actually enjoyed the 'cake' part a lot... it was fun to write the boys trying to cook, hahaha. :D Hermione should have kissed him, I guess, but... poor Ron. :p Thank youuu! *hugs*
Well done Ron.
Author's Response: Indeed! Thank you for the review! :)
Sweet. Ron's shift of moods is really well done.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you approve of Ron's moods. :)
Awww, this was so sweet. It really made me smile. I can't really describe how much I enjoyed this, as it follows exactly how I imagined they would be.
You did a great job as usual, and I love Ron's guilty thoughts and actions. He's a charmer, isn't he? Happy New Year! (though it's a wee bit late :P)
Author's Response: Happy New Year to you too!
I am glad to have made you smile. :) This story was such a delight to write as well-- a total stress buster in the middle of my exams. :)
Ron is my favourite character, and it makes me very happy that you approve of the way I've written him! He is quite the charmer, hahaha. :D
A sweet story. I liked the fact that Ron could recognize (at least part of the time) that his negative thoughts stemmed from his wearing the locket. It is good to see him depicted as not being completely controlled by his emotions 100% of the time, but rather able to look at himself more objectively (at least part of the time). Also a good illustration of the fact that when times are tough, the smallest of luxuries is greatly appreciated.
Author's Response: I like to think that at some points, Ron did realise what the locket was doing to him-- because at the time when he destroyed it, he told Harry about how it seemed to affect him the worst. So I think, maybe, he had these vacillations... maybe he couldn't understand it at some points, but at others, he could remind himself that it was just the locket. Nonetheless, he did manage to lose control over these realisations at one point-- we all know that. :)
According to me, Ron isn't as emotional as he is made out to be sometimes. He's capable of being reasonable. Of course, he has his bad moments here and there, but he's the guy I can relate to the most-- the most human of JKR's characters, if you will. I like how he can be sweet, loyal, loving, idiotic, mental, insecure, jealous and adorable, all at the same time. :)
I quite agree with you on that last part-- when times are tough, these tiny luxuries seem lovely. Thank you for the review!
This was great! Ron trying to do the best he could with the little he had was so sweet. The effect of the locket was very well written. I particularly liked that before he had it in Ron was doing all of this for Hermione's benefit, but afterwards wanted something in return. It really showed how aggressive the change was in a very subtle way. Nice nod to the films with the Reducio by the way :)
Author's Response: Okay, when I first followed the e-mail link to this review, I saw your name and got nervous-- mainly because you're the expert Ronmione author and I... well, we don't need to discuss that. :p So I hope you will understand that I squeed when I realised you'd read this (I also squeed when you followed me back on Tumblr, btw).
Now that I'm done jumping up and down, here's the rest of my response lol. I'm really, really, happy, flattered and ecstatic that you liked this! I think Ron does become sweet once-in-a-while... especially when it comes to Hermione. :) The effect of the locket was a tricky part, actually-- I wanted the vacillations to be abrupt and realistic, and at the same time, I didn't want to make Ron unbearable to the readers. So I'm really glad that you approve of it. :D
Ahh, I forgot that was movie canon. Hehehe. I remember Harry using the spell in the book too with the Snatcher's wand, but now that I look again, it was a spider... hehehe. :D Thank you so very much for the review! :)