Ahh this was reallly good. Really sad, but good. I always like stories that show other sides of the battle, that we didn't get to see in the book. And realistically, it makes sense something like this (killing someone on their own side) would've actually happened. And the consequences you showed definitely made sense, as sad as it is. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you! :) Yeah, it was sad, but I like sad :3 and so does my recipient, I think. I'm really flattered that you enjoyed my story, and I also love reading about other perspectives of the battle. I'm trying to remember where I got the idea from, but I can't :/ It was definitely something I watched -- either on TV or a movie. Whatever it was, there was some kind of battle and someone killed someone on their own side, and that was what sparked the inspiration for this story.
I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this and that it made you think. My lovely recipient requested a story that "inspired conscience without bludgeoning the reader on the head", and I hope that came across here. Anyway, thanks for the review, and once again, it means so much to me that you liked this :)
Yep, it ended with heartbreak. There really wasn't any other way for you to go, was there? You'd built Katie into the type of character who simply couldn't *not* turn herself in. What was so sad, though, was how broken up she was about it, and how she pushed Oliver away when I really think he would have helped her. Again.
In fact, I'd like to think they are still together. Your ending with the note on house arrest is interesting because it leaves things open and even a bit hopeful as I see it. As long as she holds it together, that is, and doesn't start drinking. Oliver could still be there for her and I hope she lets him. Yes, that's what I'm going to think. ;)
Very good job with a very difficult subject. You fleshed out both characters well and made us care about them (or just want them, in the case of Oliver, lol) You created a very original take on Lavender's death and wrote about the Battle very well. I enjoyed following your story and look forward to your next Cotillion fic!
Author's Response: Yeah, it ended sadly :( But I think Katie did the right thing, and she is that kind of person, yes. I mean, morally, some could argue that she didn't really do anything wrong -- after all, it wasn't like she murdered Lavender for the kicks. But yeah, Katie is, beneath it all, too much of a moral person to not turn herself in.
No comment on if they're still together! *snigger* I do plan on writing a sequel someday, because as I said to Fenella, I think there's a lot more of their story still to tell. I would love to write more, and I hope to do so maybe after my May exams. Fingers crossed, I might get a couple of companion pieces to this done for the Cotillion (I was thinking Lisa/Colin and maybe Katie/Leanne -- the latter would be more of a prequel to this, I guess) but probably no sequels until after my exams, as I think I could get sucked into it too much, hehe. Damn OliKatie for being so addictive!
Anyway, thank youuuuuu so much for your help on the first few chapters and for the lovely reviews on the last few. It all means so much to me that you enjoyed reading it (and that I made Oliver fanciable, lol), so thank you lots, and know that I heart youuuuu!
Is your intention to leave me a sobbing wreck?! you succeeded!
I didn't see that end coming at all! Breaking my heart :( They have to be together, and whilst I hope that Katie will be able to accept his love now that she's been punished, at the same time I'm worried she'll push him away even further :(
Sorry for such a rambling review, but the problem is you've gotten me so emotionally attached to these characters that I just can't let them go! Sequel pretty please?
Sorry for not being very coherent. Or constructive for that matter, but I loved this story a huge amount and your ability to create characters we care about such a huge amount in such a short amount of time is incredible. Oh and I'm now quite significantly in love with Oliver...
Author's Response: Awwww, Fenella, I'm sorry I made you cry! (Not really, lol.) No, honestly, I'm flattered you enjoyed this story so much, even if it maybe didn't go the way you wanted. I purposely left the ending unresolved because I think there's a lot more to their story to come, but in ways, Katie did come full circle and get over certain issues.
Haha, I'm so emotionally attached to them both as well! I really do want to write a sequel as well as a couple of companion pieces (I was thinking of writing Colin/Lisa at the very least), although I'm not sure how much of that I'll be able to write given exams and stuff :( We'll see. I definitely do want to write more OliKatie, that's for sure. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story, because it was fun to write (*coughespeciallythesmutcough*) and thank you for all the lovely reviews!
Ahh, Oliver is just so perfect. I love him. I feel sort of bad for him because I think he might get his heart broken, but obviously I'll just have to keep reading to see. Don't say anything. ;)
I thought you did a good job with Katie's guilt over Lavender in the first part. That is still such a shocking development. And gaaaah she was so close to admitting it but then backed off. I have no idea how it will resolve. Again - don't say anything. ;)
It was good to see Katie finally let someone into her life, someone who obviously cared about her. And I think it's obvious she cares for him as well. I thought you built it up very nicely, the physical tension between them. It seemed real and was well done. And I sort of wish they could stay that way forever too, after all they've been through.
I look forward to seeing what direction the angst goes, because I just know it's coming, isn't it? Don't say anything. LOL - good job with this chapter so bring on the next soon!
Author's Response: Thank youuuuuuuuu for the lovely review! :) I am so glad you liked Oliver! I love him, too, and if Jess and Maple weren't fighting over him, I would so claim him to be my fifth (or whatever number I'm on, lol) husband. I won't say anything, lol!
I was really worried Katie's guilt over Lavender was over the top! I reread and was like wtf, that seems a bit too melodramatic, but I really wasn't sure what I could do to make it less so... my point was (before it got lost in my rambles) that I'm glad you liked the bit about Katie's guilt :)
And yayyy. I was so worried Katie's attraction to Oliver would seem sudden, esp the fact that they, you know, do the hokey-pokey, lol. So yeah. I definitely agree that I want them to stay that way forever... you'll see what happens in the last chapter, though ;)
I won't say anything except I heart you so much for the fabulous review! I've been feeling pretty crappy for reasons I'm sure you know of, and your review really made me feel a lot better. (As well as that comment about James which pretty much killed me haha.)
Good - both the opening paragraph and concluding paragraphs extend things well, connecting this chapter to the last and ending it less abruptly. It's still desperately sad, that's for sure. I have no idea how anyone is going to deal with what's happened so get on posting! Nice job!
Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you liked the opening and concluding paragraphs. I still think there was an uber big time jump, though :/
It is very sad, yeah :( Buuut there might be a little bit of a wait between posting because I think I need to add an extra scene. On the plus side, the next chapter is entirely the reason for the Professors rating :P
Thank youuuuu for reviewing, especially given you betaed so much of it. Heart youu!
All right, I'm catching up with things, starting with the scene you added at the end, which is exactly what it needed, so good job with that! I'm glad you went for it because it really fills in both their characters, but especially Oliver and just makes him even more yummy. ;)
Good job, looking forward to reading the end!
Author's Response: Ginaaaa! :D Thank you for the review! You really didn't have to. *heart*
Yay, I'm glad you liked the extra scene at the end -- I felt it ended a bit abruptly in the original so it's lovely to know you thought it filled their characters out more. Also, YUSSSSSS. Oliver = yummy. :D
Thank youuuu for the fab review!
I hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel in the next chapter.
Author's Response: Oh, if I told you, I'd be spoiling! :P Thank you for the review. I know it's dark, but it is in Dark/Angsty for a reason.
good story nice fellow of events need more action keep the good work
Author's Response: Hi there. Thank you for the review. Things will be shaken up in the next chapter, I assure you :D It's already written, but I was actually thinking of adding an extra scene or two, so it may take a few days before it's updated. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts :)
You now have to love me forever :D.
Hmm, where shall I start. Okay, bit of honest crit here, I wasn;pt sure what to make of this. I remembered us talking about the story on AIM and things, so when I finally clicked on it (sorry it's taken so long), I was thinking this was going to be a straightforward Other Pairing with a small side issue that the backdrop is the second war. And although I liked the story, and loved the portrayal of your two MCs, there was a part of me disappointed ...
Then I happened on the third chapter and yayayayaya. Okay, I admit I thought the two boys and girl accompanying Oliver were going to be Fred, george and Angelina (sorry, I'm giggling at how wrong I was), but really, I loved this addition to the story because it makes everything come alive again and adds another dimension to the story.
My only crit, really, is the timespan. I didn;t realise Leanne had died only two weeks before and that seems quite a short time for Katie to descend into alcoholism. I'm not surprised she's been drinking to be honest, two weeks seems ... sort of normal (ha - sorry I am an old lush). I did love the way you haven't portrayed them as a perfect couple, btw, and Katie remembering the rows is a great side issue because obviously no relationship is perfect.
One last thing before I ramble off. You do know that Iliver is desperately in love with Cedric and is still in deep mourning for him? hmm? hmm?
Oh, no, one more thing to say. I really liked the fact that Oliver had left Puddlemere on a principal and was at the Hog's Head. Brilliant idea!
Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Croll, I have always loved you forever. Nothing new :P
Okay, to your crit first. I think when I was plot hashing/panicking with you (and I was very, very panicky for the reasons you know of), I probably didn't make it clear to you what the story would be, ha. It *was* meant to be a straightforward OP of Katie/Oliver with the side pairing of Katie/Leanne, but Katie kind of took over, haha. I'm glad you liked the third chapter -- I asked Jamie to give it a once-over a few hours before the deadline (I know -- I didn't think she'd have enough time to do it, but she very kindly agreed), and one of the things she mentioned was that the subplot of Lisa, Dennis and Colin was a little extraneous in places and that I would either have to expand on it more or maybe minimise it a little. I decided to expand it a bit after SPEW swap was over, and I still need to do so (eep) so that will be the first thing on my writing!to-do list.
LOL -- it's funny you thought it was Fred, George and Angelina, and I think it could have worked (maybe they needed somewhere to host Potterwatch? :) )so hmmm I might add a bit to it, actually. We shall see. :) And I'm glad you thought it added an addition to the story. I remember looking at Jess's prompts and seeing the prompt of "stories that (for the lack of a better word) inspire conscience without bludgeoning the reader over the head". That was kind of what I was going for with Katie agreeing to help Muggleborns so I'm glad I got that across :)
Ah, the timespan. Yes, I was wondering how long I should give it -- perhaps I might tinker that a bit because I agree that it isn't that long a time. Ta for that. And while Katie is... not quite an alcy but getting there, I do think that she would be enough of a realist to acknowledge that her relationship wasn't perfect. Also, I've always thought, in my head canon, that Leanne loved Katie more than Katie loved Leanne. Leanne had those feelings for a longer time, and Katie only really realised she reciprocated years later. Hmm, I don't think I've ever really thought about it like that. Anyway.
The thing is, even if Oliver was gay, Katie ees 'ot enough for ze both of zem, as Fleur might say :P And I'm glad you liked Oliver leaving Puddlemere and that you thought it was plausible -- I think Oliver, despite how maniacal he was in the books, would always be moralistic, above all. I'm really happy more than one person seems to have picked up on that because that was important for me as well as for Jess's prompt.
Thank youuuuuu for the lovely review. :) And I hope, with you having read the first three chapters, that the other thing we talked about on AIM when I was having my panic attack didn't really happen (I hope you know what I mean -- idk why I'm speaking in code, lol). Having asked someone else, I don't think it was the case, which is a relief. So yeah. Thank you, and of course I love you forever, silly. :P
This chapter was a bit more hopeful.
Author's Response: It was, yes -- but it's more like the calm before the storm, hehe. Anyway, thank you for the review, and I hope you like the next chapter :)
I feel kind of like a stalker, but what the heck I'm gonna review again regardless!
I read in your response to your previous review that you didn't feel like this was a particularly strong chapter, but I'd have to disagree with you! I thought it was subtle in how you further developed Katie and Oliver as characters, particularly in revealing how Oliver ended up in the Hog's Head. It doesn't seem contrived, in fact it seems perfectly logical that Oliver would have simply walked out on his dream in pursuit of something bigger, something right. I like how this shows how much he's grown since we saw him in the early books, he used to be so focussed on winning that he failed to see that anything else was more important (for instance when he told McGonagall that he didn't care if Harry's broom was cursed as long as they still won in PoA), yet here he clearly has realised that the world doesn't revolve quidditch. I guess what I'm trying to say in a very rambling way is that you've taken what we know of Oliver as a boy and matured him into a man.
I loved Katie's visit to the church, I found it incredibly emotive, and as religion isn't a topic often dealt with in HP fanfic, and I like how you didn't portray it as some illogical muggle fad, but instead as something that drew Katie in as a means to deal with her grief.
Oooh and the last line was amazing, I'm someone who firmly believes that the first and biggest step to getting over depression is realising that it can and will be okay again, so I found Katie's epiphany perfectly fitting regarding her state of mind.
Love it, and I'm also loving how steadily you're updating!
Author's Response: Nooooo, you're not a stalker! I thrive on reviews, so never feel like you're stalkering or doing anything wrong by reviewing because EVERY author loves them :D
Yaaaaaay to you liking this chapter in spite of my issues with it. I think the problem I had was that it was a bit of a filler chapter -- nothing really happened -- but I also know that I needed a filler, too, because I needed to establish a few more plot strands. I am so glad you liked how I've developed Katie and Oliver's relationship. I do love them as a pair; however, I also think that they both have their issues that need resolving, at least a little, before one of them makes a proper move. Katie, of course, is still half-convinced Leanne is still there, and Oliver is struggling with feelings he thought were long since buried at Hogwarts, while at the same time not wanting to take advantage of Katie (understandably given how vulnerable she is).
For some reason, I've always thought Oliver would make a hot barman (Jess agrees with me on that XD) and on a more serious note, I do think there would have been issues with Quidditch teams during the war especially if there are Muggleborns on the teams (and there are bound to be some, at least). He was focused on winning in Hogwarts, but yes, he's obviously come to terms with the fact that the world certainly doesn't revolve around Quidditch. Yaaaaaaaaay to Oliver maturing as a man, hehehehehe. He is in his twenties now, so of course he's not going to stay completely maniacal forever (though you do see his more argumentative side sometimes later on).
Okay, I'll be honest -- the main reason Katie visits a church is actually because I had to go to Christmas Mass with my school (I'm not Catholic, though -- I'm Muslim, ha), and I found it really interesting, especially the sense of unity that I could see in the church amongst those who took Communion and everything. Soo that was a little... not self-insertion, as such, but just a bit of real life in my story because I was totally stuck at that point. Katie isn't particularly religious -- she was more jealous of how united everyone was in the church as well as the couple she could see there.
I'm so glad you liked the last line! I think these chapters are pretty short (there are three more to go, by the way), but I also thought there were natural endings to some chapters so it made sense to break them up so. The whole story is about 18k and is already written, which is why I'm updating so quickly! :) I'll probably have it all posted within the next week. Hold on tight, though -- you're in for a bumpy ride, hehe. There are a few more plot twists to come; this is just calm before the storm, if you will. :D
Thank you again for the lovely, thoughtful review. Come June, I will so be nominating you for the Best Reviewer fQSQ, Fenella, because I get warm and fuzzy every time I read a review from you, so thank you very much! :)
Well, since you said please...
These last two chapters were actually a very pleasant surprise to me since I assumed the first chapter was simply a one shot, then I checked my email to find that there were other chapters! I was very happy, to say the least.
Katie and Oliver have a special place in my heart since they are one of my (increasing growing number of) OTPs, and the strange relationship, or lack of, that you've created here is perfect for them. I've always preferred Katie as one of the more dark and depressing Post-Hogwarts characters (after being cursed by a necklace, who wouldn't be a little off?), but the depth of her character with the added tragedy of Leanne is simply heartbreakingly wonderful. As for Oliver, you've really captured his character. I was very confused at seeing him in the Hog's Head at first, and your explanation is something I've never given much thought to. I suppose that a lot of organization would be taken over by DeathEaters, as you've pointed out. With the addition of Colin, Dennis, and Lisa, I'm really looking forward to more interaction with them and Kater, who seems to be finally sobering up and coming to terms, yay! I'm anxiously waiting for the next chapter and the plot twists I know have to be coming soon. (Things are starting to get just a little too happy...)
Author's Response: Hello! :D
I'm so glad you decided to continue reading. To be honest, I had a lot of problems with this story once it got going -- I churned out the first two chapters in a matter of hours, but then I got stuck and decided to go to the end -- LOL. Well, not quite the end, more the smut, hehehehe, which comes up later. But anyway, my point (which has been buried in the rubble of ramble here, lol) was that I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter because it isn't the strongest, tbh.
Yayayay to liking OliKatie :D I love it, too, after writing this, but the main reason for the pairing is actually because of my recipient (this story was written for SPEW's Secret Swap), Jess/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor, who writes sublime Katie/Oliver herself and hearts this pairing lots. And yes, you could say their relationship is weird -- she's... kind of gay and he's a sort of jaded ex-Quidditch player turned barman who lives in a tiny bedsit, hehehe. Buuut Jess did say that after writing them, I would want them to get married, and she was right ;)
You're right that being cursed by a necklace would certainly be a traumatic experience for Katie. If you're interested, you might want to read the prequel to this story, Flicker and Fail, which deals a lot more with Katie and Leanne's relationship as well as what happened immediately after Katie first woke up in St. Mungo's after being cursed.
I'm very happy you liked Oliver. Yeah, I didn't make it clear why he was working at The Hog's Head, but now you know :) And hmm, you won't see as much of Dennis, Colin and Lisa (I thought it clogged up the narrative a bit too much but I might write an outtake with them and post it -- we shall see :) ), but you are right about the plot twists. I won't, however, give anything away, but rest assured things will soon get shaken up, as is my custom.
Thank youuuu for the lovely, in-depth review and I hope you don't mind my rambling response too much!
Not exactly a fun story. Where next?
Author's Response: No, ha, it's definitely not a fun story. Well... it kind of is later (assuming you find smut fun, lol), but yes, there are certainly some bleak aspects of the story. I won't give anything away, but it's set to become even darker. I hope you enjoyed it, anyway. Thank you for the review. :)
Even though I had my suspicions as to where this was leading, the Katie/Leanne relationship and it's eventual tragedy was still devastatingly powerful, particularly Katie's admission that she wished they'd had more time together. I thought the manner in which Leanne's death came about was interesting, as it's something that very nearly happened in DH and like the Trio, Katie had no idea about the taboo.
Oliver... oh my gosh I love him. I mean I've always loved him, but i feel like you've captured his spirit perfectly. His intensity and insecurities came across wonderfully, and his determination to coax the truth out of Katie seemed really in character.
I found the last paragraph particularly powerful, 'after kicking out the closest person on earth she had to a friend'... she's pushing him away and I like how you've had her acknowledge that, yet continue to wallow in her despair.
Can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Hello again! :D
I don't think I intended for there to be major shock factor in anything that really happened -- so I'm glad you thought the backstory about Katie and Leanne's death was still powerful. I'm not sure if you've read Flicker and Fail, which is kind of a prequel to this story and details a lot more about Katie and Leanne's relationship. Not that I'm self-pimping or anything XD (It's actually not as strong as some of my other stuff, so you don't have to read it or anything, lol.) And I'm hoping the backstory wasn't an infodump or anything.
Yayayay, you like Oliver! :D I do love him, not gonna lie. I'm so glad you do, too, and yay to you liking the last line as well. That one didn't come easy for me.
Thank youuuuu for the lovely review! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope to see you on the next chapter. :)
Wonderful. Loved it! Would love to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed what you read, and I'll be posting the next chapter soon :)
There's so much I loved about this, the intricacy with which you've established Katie as a character in just one chapter is astonishing, I feel like I know her already even though there are still so many unknowns regarding the whole predicament she's in. Her denial of being an alcoholic was particularly profound, as it really is reflective of the state of mind many alcoholics get them selves into, where they've persuaded themselves but not anyone else that they don't depend on alcohol.
Oliver is fascinating, and I can't wait to know more about how on earth he ended up as a bartender in the Hog's Head, and I thought the fact that he couldn't help but be attracted to Katie even in her dishevelled state to be a particularly interesting insight into his character.
I'm really looking forward to reading more of this,
Author's Response: Fenella! THANK YOU for the review! :D
I am so glad you enjoyed this. To be honest, I really think this was a shaky start, and it was only thanks to Gina, my first beta, that it straightened out enough to be readable, at least. And I am really happy that you think Katie's characterisation was good so far -- she is not an easy character to relate to and even less an easy character to translate onto the page, so yay to you liking her! :)
And yayayayay to you liking Oliver! Not gonna lie, if I wasn't already married to Louis (not to mention countless other fictional men, lol), I would so marry him, too. But maybe that's just me XD You will find out why Oliver is a barman in the next chapter, which I will post soon. You'll also find out more about Oliver's feelings for Katie, because they're not new at all. :P
Thank youuuuuuu, Fenella, for the lovely review! I hope to see you on the next chapter.
Pretty grim so far. Looks like a good story.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. It only gets grimmer from here, lol, but hopefully there will be some moments of lightness, too. Thank you for reviewing -- I hope to get the next chapter up soon :)