I hope the characters have a happier New Year than they have had so far.
I really enjoyed this chapter!
Harry's characterization is accurate and fitting - he would certainly go to the duel, but still feel guilty about it. Dean, Seamus and Ernie are also in character - so, well done on the characterization part!
I don't really mind you making Teddy a little bit older - he's adorable!
Furthermore, while you're still introducing the scenario in this chapter there are some first plot developments, which you'll hopefully make full use of later.
Overall, very well written and quite gripping (seeing as you are still in the "introduction phase") - I look forward to reading more and to seeing which other characters you will include!
Just one little thing: in the original Dean is muggleborn, so technically he should not live in the same part of town as Harry in your AU, right? But really that's just a minor thing I noticed.
Author's Response: Thank you for all the feedback! It really does help! and the whole Dean thing, I just needed another familiar face in Harry's room! :) Thanks and keep reading! :)
This is really good. I am hooked!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm really glad to hear it!
A bit like bare knuckle fighting of old.
Author's Response: Yup, that's pretty much where i got the idea from! :)
Hm. I quite honestly don't normally click on these sorts of things-AU is not my cup of tea, especially not totally wild alternate universe AU's-but I am glad I clicked on this. It seems quite nice so far, really. I did notice some typos and some grammar mistakes (i.e. Colin Creevy should be spelled Colin Creevey, and you have a couple run-on sentences) but I think those could be easily fixed by finding a beta over on the beta boards.
Interesting concept, and I thought everyone was characterised quite well--retaining their original character traits while also becoming their own characters. I'll be sure to read on.
Lily :)
Author's Response: sorry about the typos. And thank you for giving it a chance! My biggest fear is messing up the characterization, so thankfully I didn't! stay tuned!
Not bad intresting start looking forward to more
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope I won't disappoint!
Interesting idea. I quite liked it so far, of course it is too early on to know where you are going to take it - but so far, so good.
I particularly thought the introduction to the scenario via a sort of textbook text was a nice touch which avoided confusion as to what was going on right at the beginning .
Hermione's portrayal seems very fitting, so does that of Harry, although we obviously haven't seen a lot of him yet. If you continue in this manner, it should be a very nice read as long as you have a good and plausible plot.
Therefore, good luck. I liked it so far and am looking forward to reading more.
Author's Response: Thank you. I am trying to thicken my plot more! I'm looking for a beta reader to help me :)
This is a very different universe and I will be happy to follow it along.
Author's Response: I'll try to make it as interesting as I can! :)
It's an interesting concept, but you have a good number of typos and mistakes, starting in the first sentence (out instead of or, "collaborate with it" instead of "corroborate it"). I recommend reading more closely over what you've written, or maybe getting a second pair of eyes. However, like I said, I do think you have a good concept. I will definitely look out for the next update!
Author's Response: Darn! I thought I took care of the typos, I guess I missed a few! Thanks for the review and thanks for reading!
