MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: Equinox Chick
(Signed) · Date:
10/20/13 13:30 · For:
Oh, well, this pulled me up short. I was expecting a much happier outcome -- the usual story with a Luna fic/poem and you have surprised me with a sense of melancholy. That is, I assure you, a good thing for me because I am someone who doesn't believe that Luna was the total airy fairy sees good in everything person because she did have her doubts (she knew people laughed at her) and so i’m sure she had her moments of sadness.
I thought the lemons here were a good representation of how her life would have been so much sunnier if her mother had been alive, and how, despite her always-smile, things could be brown and rotten in her life.
You captured the innocence of Luna very well in this. She’s still looking for Plimpies, but there’s a shadow over her life that very few people perceive -- Harry being but one of them.
My only crit is that i would have preferred a little enjambment between the lines as the capital letters at the beginning do cause me to falter. However, that is very much a personal preference.
Good poem ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks again, Carole, for your lovely reviews and critiques. :) It always makes me happy to know someone is enjoying my work. ~Nagini