MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: Equinox Chick
(Signed) · Date:
10/20/13 13:19 · For:
A Greying View
First of all, I feel very guilty that I left this as a prompt and then never came back to review. That’s shameful, especially as I think this is a lovely poem.
I know you feel most at home with structure and rhyme, but have to say you’ve mastered a free verse poem here, very comfortably. It may not have rhyme, but it has rhythm and flow which really pulled me into the poem. There was also a very real sense of Merope here, which evoked much pity from me for her appalling life. No, she should not have drugged Tom Riddle, but in her situation, it was understandable. I think you caught this very well by using the imagery of the grey clouds. Merope sees them in differing ways which neatly parallel the Love Potion she is force feeding her husband, which gives her an idyllic life that isn’t real.
The only crit I have is one of personal preference, which is not to start every line with a capital letter because it does make me falter a little on reading through the poem (capital letters still make me think of the beginning of sentences) but that really is the only quibble I have.
Hayley, this is a very good poem and I’m sad I didn’t discover it before. Well done ~Carole~
Author's Response: Why thank you, Carole. :) I am very glad to see that you enjoyed the poem. I understand what you mean about the capital letters, which I use from time to time, depending on the mood I am. I will go back and see if I still wish to keep the capital letters. Thanks for Reading! ~Nagini