Oh, this was sweet, Jess. I was intrigued to read it simply because I’ve never used the words sweet and Jess in the same sentence, but I’m glad I did because I think you pulled it off very well.
I liked the Marauders in this, especially at the beginning. The idea that they would still be joking around with each other even in the midst of the battle seemed very like them. And the banter was lovely. I did like how Peter was the one to put out the fire on the Death Eater--I don’t know if that was intentional or not, but it certainly stuck out to me.
I did notice a couple grammar mistakes--for example:
“How can we possibly have a child in a world like this.”
I think that should have been a question mark. However, none of the mistakes I noticed (that being the most major, but I won’t nitpick any more) detracted from the story in my opinion. To be honest, I think I only noticed them because I’m beta-ing :)
I know I’ve already mentioned that I liked the Marauders but I thought I’d give James a special mention. The dynamics between he and Lily are so, so perfect. I was always a little apprehensive of the fact that James had a child when he was only twenty-one just because I always saw him as the type that wouldn’t want that kind of responsibility--then I wonder why I thought he was in the Order! Anyway, I did think James’ thoughts here about children were just spot-on--first worried that Lily’s actually pregnant, but then near the end as well when he’s joking about Harry.
I think I’m probably overthinking this, but I did like the last few lines--it did seem like a bit of foreshadowing to what would happen in the future, if that makes any sense. Since Harry did defeat Voldemort and he was the bit of new life that James and Lily produced…yes, I do think I’m overthinking this. But I did like it as a last line, even if it seemed a bit too fluffy for you.
I was a bit worried about the length because you usually seem to write longer stories, but I did think that you managed to wrap everything up very nicely. I thought the last section could have been slightly longer--you went straight from James and Lily not wanting to have children straight to them having Harry, and I felt like that could have been elaborated on a little bit more. Other than that, though, I liked that you kept it short and focused.
I don’t know what else I could say, really, but I did enjoy this fic a lot--more than I was expecting to, to be completely honest, since I’m not one to dive into the realms of fluff either. It did leave that warm-and-fuzzy feeling that I look for when I do decide to read lighter fics, which is always lovely. Good job, Jess.
Very sweet. This was fantastic. It's quite sad how fast they have to grow up, and you've portrayed it wonderfully.
Keep up the good work! :D :D :D
Awww. Fluffiness! Very good story, Ebil One.
Wow, Jess, I am gobsmacked at your sentimentality. Who knew! And not only is it fluffy, it's Marauders - nay, it's James and Lily! Now I understand your comment. Ah, how I love this couple. Fun little fight at the beginning. Lily was right: it was a good thing they were there. Nice job with their dynamics, the ending was sweet, and the end notes positively gooey. ;) Thanks for adding a Limes to your bucket list, I enjoyed it! ~Gina :)
I liked the sentiment.
Awww, Jess-fluff ... which obviously isn't that fluffy but does tug at the old heart strings a little.
I do love the set up here. The fight was great, the banter superb, and the relationship between James and Lily was really well done. Not too sappy, but showing them both as individuals who really know each other. *sigh*
Erm, I think there's a small error. At the beginning it's Peter who shouts out that Prongs is pretty, but at the end you attribute that to Remus.
By the way, the opening exchanges between the four of them have to be amongst my favourite Marauder conversation. It gave the impression of Three Muskateers type of fighting and wit - hahahahah.
Enjoyed reading. Well done. ~Carole~