Nice. Graphic and yet definitely does not induce a gagging reflex. That shows talent.
Author's Response: Pfft, hah. I was skirting the line on this one - it definitely was much more graphic in its earliest rendition. I didn't think it added to anything, but the final bit was important enough to stay. It's child's play compared to some of the headier stuff I blush at. Thanks for the review!
I enjoyed Your story; Ron and hermione were true to their characters. A lot of fanfics make them too perfect. This was mOre real good job! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I try, but I still haven't quite hit the spot. Or, at least, the perfectionist in me hasn't yet :)
Great story. Nice to have a more adult narrative of Ron and Hermione's 'first time'. Keep writing, I look forward to your next story.
Author's Response: hanks so much for the review! I'd hesitate to call any of my stories remotely 'adult,' though 'adolescent' would be more accurate. But, hey, that's lookin' the compliment horse in the mouth right?
Throughly enjoyed this story
Author's Response: I'm glad you did, thanks so much for the review!
I really liked your writing style in this - you had an original way of putting things which kept the story very fresh. Ron and Hermione's 'first time' is quite a well-covered topic, and I think in part the writing managed to give it a more realistic spin: the swearing and colloquialisms do so much more for this than any amount of beautiful, flowery language.
I also liked that you emphasised the awkwardness and the fact that it didn't go perfectly. Not only was this in character, but it also showed more originality. There are so many fics that say how wonderful Romione's first time is that it's just plain boring now. To see it in a different light showed both your skill as a writer and your grasp of the characters. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Y'ever see the 'strutting Leo' meme from Inception (or something like that)? Well I just literally did that through my whole house and my housemate looked at me like I was going insane.
Normally I'm one to rely on flowery language, but I felt that didn't really characterize these two - in this situation - that well. So, naturally, I went in thinking 'what would I be thinking?' and, honestly, that's where a lot of the ideas for how Ron handled this came from. Whether that's a good technique or not, I dunno. First times aren't perfect, well rarely at least, and if there's any relationship where first impressions aren't the best impressions it's R/Hr.
I can see that going on. Very real.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it.