Hi, Nagini. What a clever idea, to pay some attention to the gargoyle, who is always there, but who doesn’t get any of our attention unless we have difficulty finding the correct password.
I like the plain declarative sentences with imaginative images but straightforward sentence structure; this is more of a storytelling poem than many of yours are. I think it is good to use a variety of poem types and structures; it maintains your readers’ interest more than if they were all constructed alike.
What’s fascinating is the sharp contrast between the active, dynamic form of the sculpture itself, expressed in phrases like “wings spread wide”, “eternal glare”, “claws swipe the …air”, and the cold, hard, rigid quality of the stone itself, “marbled bones”, “frozen”, “posed”, “lone sentry”, “silent”.
It is nice to see you writing a poem with a rhyme scheme, and the rhymes are good, natural ones; nothing seems forced. The final line seems just a little out of the mood, “the trespassers’ constant games”, because the rest of the poem is very solemn, serious, dignified, but the reminder of the jokesters who try to play games on the gargoyle introduces a different mood. However, the use of the word “battling” at the beginning of this line tones down this change of mood somewhat and helps make the line work.
I am constantly surprised by your imagination in finding poetry in the smallest of objects or moments. It’s always a pleasure to read your stuff.
Author's Response: After a very long and trying day, I come home and read such a lovely review and my spirits are lifted! Thank you so much for all your comments today- they truly helped me get through the passing hours. :)
An amazing poem! I get the sense that you were trying to describe the gargoyle as both cold and lifeless, but still having a certain spark and a sense of duty. All I have left to say is that you did an amazing job with this one, as always! :)
Author's Response: Oh, thank you!!!! :) I really appreciate that. Look out for more of my work... :P