Reviews For The Lone Sentry
Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 01/06/14 19:41
Chapter: The Lone Sentry

Hi, Nagini. What a clever idea, to pay some attention to the gargoyle, who is always there, but who doesn’t get any of our attention unless we have difficulty finding the correct password.

I like the plain declarative sentences with imaginative images but straightforward sentence structure; this is more of a storytelling poem than many of yours are. I think it is good to use a variety of poem types and structures; it maintains your readers’ interest more than if they were all constructed alike.

What’s fascinating is the sharp contrast between the active, dynamic form of the sculpture itself, expressed in phrases like “wings spread wide”, “eternal glare”, “claws swipe the …air”, and the cold, hard, rigid quality of the stone itself, “marbled bones”, “frozen”, “posed”, “lone sentry”, “silent”.

It is nice to see you writing a poem with a rhyme scheme, and the rhymes are good, natural ones; nothing seems forced. The final line seems just a little out of the mood, “the trespassers’ constant games”, because the rest of the poem is very solemn, serious, dignified, but the reminder of the jokesters who try to play games on the gargoyle introduces a different mood. However, the use of the word “battling” at the beginning of this line tones down this change of mood somewhat and helps make the line work.

I am constantly surprised by your imagination in finding poetry in the smallest of objects or moments. It’s always a pleasure to read your stuff.

Author's Response: After a very long and trying day, I come home and read such a lovely review and my spirits are lifted! Thank you so much for all your comments today- they truly helped me get through the passing hours. :)

Reviewer: alex13
Date: 10/21/12 15:06
Chapter: The Lone Sentry

An amazing poem! I get the sense that you were trying to describe the gargoyle as both cold and lifeless, but still having a certain spark and a sense of duty. All I have left to say is that you did an amazing job with this one, as always! :)

Author's Response: Oh, thank you!!!! :) I really appreciate that. Look out for more of my work... :P

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Makers of Fine Wands by CanisMajor 1st-2nd Years
Ollivander of Croton arrives in Athens in 382 BC with big dreams, noneof which...
James and Me by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
Annabel is having a bad day. Her sudden and unexpected meeting with a face from...
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
FEATURED
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.
CATEGORIES