Kara, this was such a good chapter. Will you think less of me if I admit that I sometimes skim over the Quidditch details in fics? It's just gets tedious sometimes, but this was really good. I never lost interest, and didn't skim once. Haha! Cedric's presence was a fab surprise! And I'm glad you gave him a great first game, too! Go Puffs! Fabulous ending, and I truly am pining away for the next installment. Bring it soon, okay? :)
Author's Response: Oooh that is a huge compliment about the Quidditch - especially as it was giving me some pains. Thank you so much! Cedric needs setting up as the golden boy, of course. He can't become school famous over night!
I'm doing my best to get something new up soon, but I don't want to run out of chapters - eep! Time to write write write.
I envy your Quidditch, I really do. But I have learned something for the next time I attempt it! I think this comes off so strong because you have the added element of the commentator. I just never would have thought of that. So we don't see everything from Tonks' POV, we get a bit of a broader perspective. Really, really well done. And as always - incredibly researched on the moves.
But my favorite part has to be this little moment at the end. Charlie and Tonks' sinking to the ground, his arm around her waist, his concern. Yep, I'm officially shipping them, here and now. It doesn't work out of course, since they both have other people in their future, but I do so hope something sparks between them here, heh heh.
The last line about the hospital wing is both humourous and not. But I'm glad we'll get to maybe get a peak at what's gong on in there!
This was good. Lots of action and it's moved things forward quite a bit with Tonks' being injured now. Hope the rest is coming along!
Author's Response: Oooh no need for envy, it was giving me enough trouble! Jess in the end suggested that I write down the scores/goals I want plus some key moves and fill in from there, which worked really well. And about the commentator - I didn't even think about that honestly! I just wrote one because we've got one in the book, and I know no other way to write Quidditch.
That moment with Charlie and Tonks in the end was one of those unplanned moments I was talking about that just happened...
Thanks a lot for the review! :)
good job! I like Tonks' clever move there with the bludger . . . there's just a couple technicalities: Cedric is actually a seeker (though I suppose he could switch positions like Ginny did), and if he's a second year, then fred and george couldn't be on the team yet, because they're a year younger and Harry was the first first year to play in a century.
Author's Response: Cedric, in my opinion, switches position. In PoA, they all say that Hufflepuff hast "A new captain and Seeker" - but I doubt he'd be made Quidditch Captain if he wasn't on the team before, so he must be switching position. Also, Fred and George are two years ahead of Harry, and have already played for at least one year by the time Harry starts attending Hogwarts - we know this because they know Oliver's speeches. But since they are in their second year here, it's actually all fine - Harry still is the first first year to play in a century. This story takes place in the year before Harry starts going to Hogwarts, which is why there are some familiar faces on the Quidditch team.
Phew! That turned out longer than I thought it would be, but I guess it takes at least a small amount of explaining. Thank you very very much for your review, and well done on spotting Tonks' move.
Poor Ed. And poor Martha. But I really liked the sleuthing that Tonks and Charlie are planning! I cannot wait to see how you connect these students to those paper airplanes, because I'm sure there is a dark connection to this Andrew fellow. Nice job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thank youuuu for the review! :D I don't have a meaningful reply, but it is very much appreciated!
and the plot thickens . . . very mysterious. Still loving the talking plants :)
Author's Response: Thanks! It thickens indeed....
Ohhhh, so good! Ed? ED?? You really are a master at mystery, aren't you? I can't figure out what's going on, but want him to be okay and get together with Martha. They have a little Ron/Hermione vibe, if you ask me, which of course, you didn't. :D I love that Charlie was in the kitchens, and Fred and George get the credit. How fitting that even the older boys had to use the twins to figure stuff out. Nice touch there. I wish I were more involved on Pottermore, as I saw your reference to that in the notes... I'm wondering how much of this is from there and how much you've cooked up? Love the magical details... you've really grounded it all so well in Hogwarts. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: I'll always want your opinion, so assume the asking is implied! :D I'm glad you're liking them!
Well, Fred and George are the masters of mischief... And Charlie is a cool older brother, so they'd be willing to share the info with him. Or maybe he ran into them when they had just nicked food and they told him so that he wouldn't tell... which he never would, of course!
There's really good info on Pottermore. I didn't directly take a lot from there, but it's just really inspiring, especially when it comes to the common room! That's basically the only part where I used Pottermore info, but there it was so so helpful. The CR sounded so welcoming already, so I tried to pick up that atmosphere.
And yes, Ed! EEEP!
Thanks for the review, Lori :)
Great dueling, and another element to the mystery! You do a great job of quickly establishing OCs. I'm envious. I mean, I already like the DADA professor and the others in class, and I've only just met them!
Keep it coming--I'm starting to see hints of the title and I'm super curious now! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Oooh thank you, Gina! I'm glad you like the DADA Prof. It's always a bit hard to come up with them, isn't it... I was never going to write a lot of OCs in my life, but somehow they kept flying in with the Bill fic and this one. In a way, it's easier than picking out names of minor canon characters... but it's also hard to keep track! I need a separate document for names and schedules and such things.
Thanks a lot for always reviewing. It means the world!
This is getting interesting.
Author's Response: Very glad you think so! Thanks for the review!
DunDunDuhhhhhh - Something very sinister is going on! I would bet it has something to do with Andrew and the dancing trolls.
I don't envy the poor seventh years - they have such a hard time of it - it sounds so stressful!
I'm still loving reading about the classes - you do it so well! And the tense/pov are working great as well - I hardly even notice it's present tense most of the time (which is good because it means it's reading very naturally.
Post more now!
Author's Response: I'm finally getting around to replying to this as well!
Glad you're still liking it. And yes, what is it about that Andrew guy... hmmmm.
I've posted another one chapter now!
I love hearing about seventh year lessons. They do seem so much more advanced than the younger years. The transfiguration of inanimate objects into animals always makes me wonder though. I wonder where the animals come from - are they real or just like...table pigs that wouldn't ever last properly. Otherwise it seems a bit sinister to think you can create something with a life and then take it away again all with a couple of spells.
Things took a bit of a sinister turn at the end there - I wonder where that will lead!
Ooh are we going to get some Quidditch writing in the next chapter? The Hufflepuff team sound like they're on fire!
Author's Response: Quidditch is coming soon - eeeep. But not quite yet! Oh I hope you like the Quidditch...
You know, ever since I started reading/writing fanfic, I've had this thought about an OC who's an animal rights activist and rescues all the hedgehogs from being turned into pincushions. Overall though I think they wouldn't be actually alive, and wouldn't have a "personality", like animals normally do. I wonder if there are advanced classes that study the results of magic and dissect animals like that etc *shudders*. But no, generally, I think they wouldn't be actually alive, and you wouldn't be able to get nutrients from the meat of such a pig either, and things like that. Only what they then actually are, I don't know... My OC would get a terrible telling off by McGonagall, of course, for being nonsensible ;)
I think the lessons make up a bit for all the stress! They would be more fun, if you can do loads of things already and don't need as much direction.
Thank you for the review! I just loved coming home to this! haha
Uh-oh - a missing student - me thinks things are about to get mysterious.
I remembered something I meant to mention in the last chapter - I love the plants! I've never really thought that much about magical plants before but of course with Tonks being a Hufflepuff, it makes so much sense to have all these plants with personalities - the waking up with water, stealing things etc - it's all so good - and a sign of your typical attention to detail which makes your stories so interesting to read.
I don't know who to sympathise with between Ed and Martha- on the one hand I'm sure it's difficult for her to have such pushy parents but on the other it's hardly his fault that he doesn't have to do as many as she does and as he said, he still has to work! It reminds me of when I was at school and the people who chose to do four subjects used to give the people who'd chosen three such a hard time because they had less work to do, but it was their own fault for choosing to do so many!
Oh I also meant to say I liked how you explained the fact that Gryffindor aren't in the running for the Quidditch Cup because even though Charlie is brilliant, the rest of the team aren't. It gets around the whole canon issues there are surrounding Oliver Wood and Charlie being at Hogwarts at the same time but not winning the cup. I did have a question though - how old is Wood here? He must be quite young to already be captaining the team.
And there I shall end this rambling and not very useful review!
Author's Response: Mmhm, I had a bit of a hard time figuring out the Gryffindor Quidditch team, because we know that this is the year before Harry starts at Hogwarts, and the twins as well as Wood must have been on the team before, because they knew his speech... Oliver would be in his fourth year here, which is quite young, but I think not unfeasible. My personal logic for them being on the team at the same time and Oliver being the captain is that Charlie wanted to focus on school more in his seventh year rather than captain the Quidditch team, and so handed the captainship over to his next oldest team member who wasn't a seventh year. But they're left with a fairly young team overall...
I feel sorry for both Martha and Ed, and for their friendship - school just ruins everything!
I'm so glad we have some pottermore info on Hufflepuff, because that gave me loads of ideas! And I do like the plants. I'll always love our tower most (of course), but I wanted to make Hufflepuff a place that anyone would feel welcome in, and I think I'd like to be there at least on some days!
Thank you so much for all your reviews! I don't know how I deserve this flood!
Ooh, Kara, I'm really enjoying this! Planned to read a chapter or two and had to finish everything you've posted. Really nice voice you've created for a young Tonks, and I find myself really connecting with her. I like that you've included some of the character traits we know of her from canon, and yet, she's not knocking over suits of armor constantly. Good balance there. I'm working on a next gen that has tons of OC's, and I find it really difficult dealing with so many of them at once and yet keeping them distinct. You've managed that so well in this, Kara. Really well done--I felt so bad for Laura in the end of this chapter. :( Charlie... oh, he's just lovely. Not much more to say about that. You know I'm a fan of your drabbling, but I'm wondering now if I've really read much of your full stories. This is so, so well done, and I'm certainly hooked. Will be following your updates--glad to see they are coming more quickly than mine do. Haha. Well done, you! ~Lori
Author's Response: Loriiii - I can't believe I didn't replied to your review sooner. I could have sworn I had... Anyway, thank you so so much for reading and reviewing. It really does mean a lot.
YAY for liking young Tonks! I was really concerned about not having got her voice right, so obviously I'm very pleased that it seems to be working! :D
I know about Charlie - I don't think he could be anything but lovely.
Again, thank you so much!
really liking this! well-written, seems well thought out. and I like all the creative stuff in Hufflepuff house, the plants and all that. Can't wait to see more!
Author's Response: Thank you so so much! :) I'll post a new chapter soon!
Who exactly are these dancing trolls?
Poor Tonks. Snape is such a git. And seventh year sounds like no fun at all! Unfortunately I don't have anything more meaningful than that to add at the moment.
Author's Response: Hmmmmmmmm... you might find that they are familiar... uhm, faces. Troll-faces.
Snape is so evil! And I'd hate all the studying, honestly :x Can't really blame some of the students for trying to find alternative methods! Thanks for the review, Hannanannanah. It means a lot!
I love your writing - it's all so lovely and readable and your characters are just great.
I also love the little extra touches you put into your plot - it shows how much detail you put into planning and creating the world the characters live in. The flyers are something I completely believe could happen in canon (and i also get the sense that there'll be more to them than first meets the eye perhaps.)
The friendship between Charlie and Tonks is portrayed really well and I feel like you've really mastered the first person voice of Tonks well.
I look forward to reading on!
Author's Response: Hannah!!! Thank you so, so much for reviewing! Yay I didn't know you were going to start reading this yet :D
I'm very glad that you like the voice, because that's something I'm always a bit unsure about. Yayay, can't wait for you to read on, and thanks again for the review!
Ah, mysterious dreams! The mystery deepens. Still love the magical details, and I really do hope whatever is going on doesn't ruin Hufflepuff's chance for a win. :)
Not that you'd tell me, of course, lol. Enjoyed it! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Yes, I'll keep it mysterious for now... haha. Thank you so much for your reviews. They really mean the world to me.
Great Herbology stuff, Kara! No paper airplanes, though! But you've introduced a new mystery with Alexandra, so that's okay. And perhaps a bit of "something" on Tonk's part. ;) Good job, looking foward to more! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: I'm finally getting around to replying to this! Thank you very much for your review. I do love Herbology, and I'm glad to hear that you liked this as well.
I an worn out just reading about their Newt problems.
Author's Response: I just hope the story itself isn't too tiring!
I hope this review doesn't disappear! I read this last night with the first chapter, which was why I DEFINITELY think something is up with this Andrew guy and his paper airplanes. Love it, it's so very Potterish. Also, Snape was dead on nailing them like that. I think the attention to small things really makes this pop (sorry, that sounds ridiculous but it's true!) The potions were great, the underground selling even better. And I loved the plants, hahaha!
Now, if only the archive will stop eating reviews and chapters we can get on with Charlie and Tonks and these mysterious airplanes...
Author's Response: ... it's still here, so I hope it's here to stay this time! Thank you for taking the trouble of posting this TWICE! And phew Snape wasn't OOC to you... I just went as mean as I could, hahaha. I'm quite liking the plants as well - I think I'd like to visit Hufflepuff Common Room some time! But I'd always return to Gryff of course (and Charlie... hehehe). Again, many many thanks for reviewing!
This is so very different! A first person, present tense fic - by Tonks! I like it a lot. You've done a great job capturing her voice, and an even better job of setting the scene - the time, the place, the atmosphere - with all sorts of little details. Well-researched just like your Bill story! I especially loved the paper airplanes and having read the second chapter too (review later) I wonder if there is something more going on with them. You set up mystery well! Looking forward to reading the rest (will try to keep up fairly quickly!). Great start!
Author's Response: OH Thank you so so much for your review, Gina! :) I wasn't expecting this :D I'm very glad that you seem to like it so far. Hmmmm, there might be something going on with that, who knows...
It's definitely new for me, as well - first person, present tense, and Tonks! And also a Hogwarts setting, I haven't done that in ages... But I'm really really glad that it seems to be working!
Again, a million thanks :)