Oh my Kara!
This is such a fantastic story. UGH! I don't know if I can explain my feels properly in this box :x
The characterisation is just so spot-on, and I don't just mean the main characters of the plot, but the house qualities and even the minor ones, including the gargoyles guarding Dumby's office. The banter was absolutely entertaining to read, too. It just had a ... Tonks vibe to it. I can't describe it exactly; it just fit so well. The only thing I doubted at the beginning was Oliver being the captain of his team. He's in fourth year here, right? But then, it dawned on me that apart from Charlie, the other players are also rather young, and he might have wanted to concentrate on his NEWTs instead. Actually, the more I think of it, the more it made sense not to make Charlie captain. This way, it's clear he loved Quidditch but his top priority was not it.
The details, though. That is something that I admired - nay, envied - endlessly about the Unbreakable Curse, and it was no different here. The way you planned classes and curriculum is awe-inspiring. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if there's anyone I know in our friend circle who will make it in the fantasy literature world, it's you. You have the kind of expansive imagination and attention to detail required. Seriously, I'm a sucker for the "magic" part of the Potterverse, and there's been plenty of times when I wondered what NEWTS would be like, and this satisfied my cravings!
And the plot! GAH. Perfectly paced, my darling, and how well-executed. l like how easily I was fooled into thinking Martha was going to be a possible victim. Hahaha! The dream realm was an endlessly intriguing character in itself. Quite scary, actually.
My only crit is that a few of the chapters suffered from minor technical issues: missing punctuation, capitalisation issues (in naming), and spelling errors. I saw a Venomous Tentacular somewhere - it was the second chapter in which it was mentioned - and Laura Byrd became as Myra in a later chapter, and Lisa in the final one. :O
These are things that can be easily fixed when you read the chapters again. The core content remains wonderful and exciting.
My haircape is off to you, Fraulein Dargen!
Author's Response: Nataliiiiiee! Wow, you read quickly!
I could kick myself especially for these name issues! I fixed everything you pointed out now - thanks! I changed almost everyone's name two times at least and thought I'd caught everything, but then I had different versions of chapters floating around between betaing and editing etc. -- anyway, thanks for pointing it out, and if there's anything else I'd appreciate if you'd let me know!
Thank you so so much for all your kind words. I don't quite know what to say, but you have to know that I'm feeling very fuzzy inside right now.
Oliver being Quidditch Captain that year is actually canon (because Fred and George knew his speech, and Tonks and Charlie graduated the year before Harry got there), as is his age. I tried to show him as a slightly less secure Captain. And yeah, Charlie used to be Captain but gave it up (in my opinion) to focus on NEWTs, in an uncharacteristically sensible move ;)
Again, thank you so much. wow.
I have begun reading :x
Author's Response: :x
I've enjoyed this so much, and the end did not disappoint. Such fabulous imagery in the dream world, and I love Dumbledore's analysis of it as well. You really nailed him, and I think that is an incredibly difficult thing to do that not a lot of authors can do well. Love the magic. Tonks' realization that she could use her abilities as a metamorphagus were perfect, and the way she tested the world by teasing the monster.. so great and hard to predict as a reader. (Or maybe I'm just dim--haha.) Another bit of magic that was just so Harry Potter was when the gargoyles commented about the password... lol! I loved that bit, and her saying Shut Up. Wonderful, wonderful read. I'm sad it's over, and can't wait to troll your author page on my nearest opportunity and find something else to enjoy. Bravo, friend! :) One more thing... hope you don't mind, but in my active imagination, there's a bit of snogging going on in the kitchens after lunch. Hehe. Love the pairing! ~Lori
Author's Response: I didn't get around to replying to this over the holidays, but thank you so so much for the review, Lori. I'm very glad that you enjoyed the ending as well, and that Dumbledore works here. Thank you very much for being such a faithful reader and reviewer! I appreciate it endlessly, honestly. It means the world!
Excellent story. Good adventure. Good finish. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for this review, and all the others you've left. I'm glad you enjoyed the ending!
Bloody hell that was brilliant. First, the Auror letter. Then the bit with Sirius - awesome.
And then Dumbledore's parting words, so evocative of his words to Harry in PS! And yet - you could totally write more about this dream world (plus Charlie and Tonks *coughcough*)
And the clues!! Gah! The clues, all right there, so well laid.
And the last line was just freaking beautiful and perfect.
I am in envy and awe. Really great story. It shows us why and how Tonks became an Auror. It's a lovely look at Charlie in school. Dumbledore was spot on. The plot was masterfully plotted (yes, i know that's redundant) The imagery was wonderful and the mood built and built to an intense finale.
I loved it and hope you are proud!!
Author's Response: Thank you so, so much, Gina. I quite enjoyed writing Dumbledore there, because it's only a year before PS, which just connects the dream things a bit more closely to canon, right?
Really, thank you so much for all the praise. You don't know how happy that makes me!
Whoaaaaaa! That is so super cool! So visual - I could picture it all happening! And so, so intense. Tonks is awesome, getting them out like that. But I must read on to make sure she wakes up in time....
Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! I was really worried about the action part! I'm so glad you liked it!
Karaley, what have you done ?
I´m sitting in front of my pc, waiting urgently for the signal that the next (last ?) chapter ist released !
Author's Response: There you go! I hope you enjoy it :)
Oh. My. Word. You are killing me, here. And seriously, Kara, you are a master plotter. I mean, I knew you were good, but I'm really blown away by this story. This chapter was worth the wait, but I totally miss Charlie. So incredibly addicted to this fic.
Author's Response: THANK YOUUUU for the review! I don't know how to handle your praise! I hope the last two chapters aren't a letdown :x
AH! What! Just...what?!
Great atmosphere here. And I loved seeing Sirius. :) It was very urgent and built nicely to the surprise ending. You have some explaining to do - the potion, the cages, the person at the end!! Really fascinating - great mystery!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. The story is all up now - I hope the ending isn't disappointing!
Curiouser and curioser.
Author's Response: Indeed!
totally adore the charlie/tonks thing :) I LOVE guys, both in books and real life, that are nice enough to stand up for/help a girl and friend. I have a friend who would do the exact same thing and because im so accident prone i could see me as tonks and him as charlie (just for that one moment, i'm no star). Anyway, sorry for my ramble, brilliant story overall and loved this chapter especially
Author's Response: Thank you such for your review! :) I'm glad you like Tonks, and especially Charlie -- I'm very much a fan of him in general myself ;) hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and thanks again!
Big reference to WeasleyMom - can´t say it better ! Great Stuff !
I´m looking forward to the next chapter(s) really nail-biting...
Maybe it´s possible to finish the story before christmas ? What a present under the cristmas tree this would be ! ;-)
Author's Response: You know, presents always depend on how nice you've been... haha! ;) I'll definitely finish this before Christmas, because I have (a multitude of) other plans afterwards, actually, that I want to get to. Thank you very much, as always :)
Oh, and in response to Dad's comment... because she's Tonks! She said it herself: you don't have to be a Gryff to be reckless! Please bring the next chapter soon!
Author's Response: exactly - she's Tonks! Couldn't have put it better ;) I'll try to hurry!
You wicked, wicked girl, leaving us that cliffhanger! And just when I was saying all these lovely things about your writing on aim. Hehe. Only kidding... this is your most brilliant chapter yet. Not only is the plot getting thicker, but your characterization of Tonks is simply brilliant. I love how proud she is of her injuries, with her intent to show off the damage. LOL. And just the way you write her thought processes... maybe this or maybe that, but it doesn't matter because the main thing is fine. You're true to canon, but you're developing her even more, and in such a consistent, entertaining way. I love her. I want to hang out with her. Finally, how are you writing a romance without writing any romance? Seriously, I keep looking at what you are doing here, and I still don't get it. It's like they are falling for each other, but neither of them knows it. You write it like it's an aside to everything else, which it is, but it's looming larger and larger with every chapter. I'm shipping them hard, and probably permanenty. (Well, at least until Charlie moves away -- sniff.) Great stuff, Kara. Just really, really good.
Author's Response: You were saying lovely things about my writing? Damn, can't believe I missed that! hahaha.
I think the main thing about the romance being an aside is that it wasn't planned originally at all, but then I felt like it fitted... I'm really just writing what makes sense to me at that point, honestly! But romance or not, I do love the two of them as a team, so that helps ;)
Thank you so so much for all the praise. You know it means a lot!
She suspects the potion is dangerous, so she drinks it! Why?
Author's Response: Sometimes you just have to take a leap and do something reckless... Especially if you're Tonks!
Nooooooooooooooo! What did she do?? Why did she take it? Where is this going?? Awesome but mean cliffhanger, you! Also, nice comments from Tonks about the four houses. I could totally hear you - I mean her ;) - saying that. Especially since it's all true.
Way to up the tension! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Why did she take it? Well, she's Tonks! But you'll find out more in the next chapter... which is hopefully coming soon. And all houses are valid in their own right! If even I have friends in Slytherin....
Long waiting seems ok at the former state of the story.
But now - with the new informations, especially the creepy insights from the hospital, and the small gap in the wall aka cliffhanger at the end of the chapter:
Hope, you are really back on the fast track and we can read the following chapters asap.
Author's Response: Thank you vey much for the review! The new chapter is up already - I hurried up! But I have a feeling I'll need to hurry with the one after that as well...
Very cool! I knew that was Charlie making a distraction for her, lol. Very creepy, too, these poor students trapped in their sleep. I like that Tonks and Charlie are keeping on it to figure it out. I just hope it doesn't happen to one of them! Very good update, can't wait to see what happens with this Turpin guy.
Author's Response: Thank youuu! I'm working hard on the next chapter, I promise. Oh I can't wait to hear what you think of the rest...
Excellent Quidditch match.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)
Great Work! Especially thanks - according to author´s note - to ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor for getting you to write about the Quidditch-Match! Well done; not only the match itself, which ist described most suspenseful, but too the twist with tonks ("Didn´t have time"). It makes me looking forward intensely for the chapters to come...
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review, Wise Old Man! I'll hopefully be able to be quick about posting the remaining chapters. I'm very glad you liked the Quidditch!