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Reviews For Guilt and Betrayal

Name: WeasleyMom (Signed) · Date: 10/20/13 20:34 · For: The Rat and the Baron
Aida, I think this is such a compelling little fic. You've got into Peter's head very convincingly, and I love all the comparison between who he is as a human and who he is as a rat. The idea of the colors being different. I had a strong reaction to his desire to see some Gryffindor red, in that I wanted to pummel him for thinking he should get that priviledge. And yet, you made me feel for him in the first section, that he wasn't ready to die, and he wasn't like the others. Which he wasn't.

Unlike the previous reviewer, I see no issue with Peter being able to get around Hogwarts as a rat. First, rats get around, and people are in and out of Gryffindor constantly, so he would have been able to use the portrait hole at those times. Second, and more importantly, the books tell us he got around the castle. End of story. ;)

The bit with the Bloody Baron takes this fic up a notch, in my opinion. We see so much there, that he was tested by the others intentionally, that he was brave enough to do and cared enough to prove it. The Peter you've written here does have something to prove, and I found that very interesting, character-wise. Also, the Baron's response... wow. Perfect, perfect to include this bit, and it adds layers to everything you're writing here. The idea that James and Sirius brought the scene about and heard the answer, and Peter... just so very good.

"After a few minutes of struggling and failing accept what he has done, he transforms back into a rat." I think this sentence is missing a word or two. I know its a niggly little thing, but here at the end of the fic, when you've introduced his guilt and are about to land a powerful ending line, I think it might warrant an edit. I stumbed there and had to reread a few times to understand what Peter was truly feeling. But again, that's so nitpicky of me, I realize.

The end is so, so good. The idea that life as a rat is simpler makes perfect sense and yet, it leaves me unsettled (as it should) knowing Peter is able to escape the guilt and punishment he so well deserves to feel. But I imagine that is exactly how it would have been for him.

Beautifully written, Aida. ~ Lori

Name: snorkack1 (Signed) · Date: 12/03/12 15:56 · For: The Rat and the Baron
I like this story, but how would a rat have gotten in and out of the portrait hole? The pink lady would hardly have openend the door for a rat, surely? And how would he have got up the step (the books say you had to "climb" in and out)?

Name: Maple_and_PheonixFeather (Signed) · Date: 09/16/12 4:21 · For: The Rat and the Baron

This is beautiful! Of all the post-Lily/James death fics I’ve read, this one is definitely the best. You have approached it in a completely different way than most people do, and everything together just felt so right.

I loved how you characterised Peter, a character who suffers from many clichés. I felt like I totally connected with him. He isn’t a whiney, bed-wetting character, but rather, he is a character who truly loves his friends, but who likes his alone time, which I totally get. I love how he gets nervous for the Bloody Baron, yet totally faces his fears, proving the Sorting Hat to be right. And for the first time ever, I totally understand how Peter could turn to the Dark Lord “ he simply does not want to die. He has nothing to fight for, and he is too young to give his life for something not immediately effecting him. This was just so believable and so easy to understand, something that I think is hard when writing Peter.

I loved how everything fit together in this story. While the story is clearly divided into four distinct parts, the four parts flow cohesively and are necessary to each other. Everything fits together and everything makes sense. Each part links into the next, which links into the next. I totally bought it, and I think it really helped show consistency between Peter’s character. He has a favourite place, and key moments that have brought him to where he is, and it is beautifully done.

I loved the use of the Bloody Baron. What a very creative idea! It really is who Peter is. He suffers so much for what he has done, and it will always remind him of that moment, a moment where he was scared but faced his fears anyway, a moment where he3 had the best friends in the world. I love how he turns to him form in these times. I love the picture you gave us “ Peter staying as a rat, because everything was just so much less complicated that way.

Amazing story, Aida! It really made me think about Peter as a character, and it is truly the best look at the aftermath of James and Lily’s death that I,ve read, even though it occurs nine years later.


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