Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/29/13 14:47
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

The dialogue was tight and kept the action moving in this chapter. Good job! Make sure you reveal the results of Hermione's WUP photos: maybe they will reveal more than just FFHs for Luna's research!!! A suspect/clue in the landscape, maybe???

I have also noticed a trend in your writing; the repetition of terms that makes the reading a bit heavy and boring. Try to construct your paragraphs in such a way as to use a diverse selection of descriptives. This will not only move the action along, but intrigue your audience and motivate the reader to stay with the story.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/23/13 14:20
Chapter: Chapter 37: Luna and Rolf visit WUP

Sometimes policing-type institutions do the dumbest things just to show they can. And it's equally dumb to not allow Muggle things at school. Why not take what you can use and use it? I have a tiny problem with authority:D Does Hermione have the right to face her accuser? What proof does anyone have that she even did this? Weren't the camera and pictures "stolen"?

Author's Response: I agree with you, but that doesn't make as interesting of a story. ;-) I posted the resolution chapter today, so you should be able to see how things work out soon. Thanks! Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/22/13 16:57
Chapter: Chapter 37: Luna and Rolf visit WUP

Too much narrative and not enough dialogue...a trend that seems to have taken over this story on the whole.

Author's Response: I'll try to include more dialogue going forward. I think I'm juggling too many plot points. As they wind down, it will get easier. Thank you for the feedback, Jenny

Reviewer: kia
Date: 09/18/13 6:34
Chapter: Chapter 36: EWU Admits the Balkan States

Nitpicking a bit but the swedish supreme sagamore would not be called Svensdotter, since that means that he is the daughter of Sven.

Svensson would be the proper last name in this case, meaning son of Sven. It also happens to be a very common last name in Sweden today.

Author's Response: Oh! Good to know. I'll go in a fix that right now. I looked up common Swedish names on the web, but I didn't realize the difference. Thank you! Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/16/13 15:19
Chapter: Chapter 36: EWU Admits the Balkan States

What a nasty little owl! Actually, I wish I had one. Sometimes when I've sent something to my son his roommates get into it before he does. It would be nice to have an owl that would be sure to get the package to my son only. I can't wait to find out who the Nundu is. I still think its stinky breath is funny. Maybe they have rotten teeth or something. This Dritan sounds like a reasonable person. I just hope they can trust him.

Reviewer: CheyChey123
Date: 09/09/13 4:48
Chapter: Chapter 1: Summer Day at the Burrow

Amazing! :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you like the rest of the story as well! --Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/04/13 14:31
Chapter: Chapter 35: Second Nundu Attack

Nundus must be very terrifying but kind of funny if their breath is that bad:D Funny that the attack happened just when Draco and Ardiana broke up. Maybe she's the Nundu.

Author's Response: You are not the only one with those suspicions! I can't take credit for Nundu breath, though. That's from JKR. Thank you for your review! --Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/04/13 14:08
Chapter: Chapter 34: Breaking up with Ardiana

I wonder how Draco's spell was supposed to work. Were they both supposed to be undressed? I'd be very worried about what Ardiana will do now. She just wants what she wants and doesn't seem to care about her family or Draco.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 08/21/13 15:17
Chapter: Chapter 33: Draco's Recovery

If I were Draco I'd be worried about Hermione being out alone too, He hasn't broken up with Ardiana Hoxha and you just can't trust that family. I loved the Grand Fanny of Europe comment. I'll have to remember that:D

Author's Response: I saw an interview of Tom Feldon on Craig Ferguson where he got all embarrassed about the use of the word fanny in America. That's where I got the idea. ;-) --Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 08/20/13 17:45
Chapter: Chapter 32: Draco's Infirmary Stay

I noticed that you explained why Draco appeared to be running from sleeping with Ardiana. That cure for spattergroit sounds dreadful. Not sure I could stomach it. I guess we'll find out soon what's in the Imperious Potion and possibly get an antidote.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 08/20/13 17:20
Chapter: Chapter 31: Infecting Draco

Gosh, I would think those sores would be very noticeable and ugly. I'm surprised no one else was concerned about Draco. What a formidable team--Neville and Hermione. I'm so grateful there are things like fan fiction and that I was fortunate enough to discover them. The Harry Potter world lives on.

Author's Response: You are right -- I probably should have had more people making a fuss! Thanks for the feedback, Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 08/20/13 16:49
Chapter: Chapter 30: Imperius Potion Crisis

That's a great idea--give Draco spattergroit. I don't remember what that is but I think it's very contagious. Once again I think Draco is acting very suspiciously. Why was he running out of his room zipping his pants?? It's like he was running from Ardiana. I'm glad that Neville and Hermione did no more than kiss. I think this association is getting kind of tough for them. The more they spend time together and depend on each other the closer they'll become.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 08/20/13 15:02
Chapter: Chapter 29: Encountering Draco

That kneazle-pooped ear is pretty entertaining:D I agree that Draco is acting strangely. I wouldn't say anything against Hermione's reasoning. Draco seems so bland now. Where's his passion. I halfway expected Draco to tell Hermione what was going on at lunch.

Reviewer: Petunia_ann
Date: 08/19/13 19:47
Chapter: Chapter 33: Draco's Recovery

Yay they're back!

Author's Response: It took me a long time to work through it all -- much longer than I expected. But yes, they are back and staying that way. Thanks, Jenny

Reviewer: Mayosalami
Date: 08/09/13 11:10
Chapter: Chapter 1: Summer Day at the Burrow

And he is back! Thank god. CanĀ“t wait to see how the rest turns out. Hope it wont be too long :)

Author's Response: Yes, that took much longer than I expected! Sometimes you can't control these things. I'm working hard to bring it all together at this point and finish the story in an exciting way. Thanks for the review! --Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 08/03/13 22:12
Chapter: Chapter 32: Draco's Infirmary Stay

Now that you've confirmed the Imperius Potion, the story should speed up a bit, right?
Thanks for resolving the cliff-hanger.

Author's Response: Yes, in the sense that I don't plan on another 30 chapters to end the school year! ;-) Thanks for the review, Jenny

Reviewer: mrs_malfoy_24
Date: 08/03/13 4:04
Chapter: Chapter 32: Draco's Infirmary Stay

Oh yeah Dramione is back!!!!

Author's Response: Yes, I don't believe in keeping them apart for too long. ;-) Hope you enjoyed the ride, though. Thanks for the review, Jenny

Reviewer: BookWorm530
Date: 08/02/13 22:53
Chapter: Chapter 32: Draco's Infirmary Stay

Yeah! Draco's back! Hope to see more sweet and romantic scenes between him and Hermione coming up soon. Keep it up : )

Author's Response: I think you'll enjoy the next chapter. I'll be posting it just as soon as I get it back from my excellent beta. Thanks, Jenny

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 08/02/13 13:57
Chapter: Chapter 32: Draco's Infirmary Stay

It's about bloody time! To steal a word from Neville!! LOL brilliantly played out!

Author's Response: Thank you. It did take me much longer to write up all the details that I had planned out. What I thought I could fit in a couple chapters ended up being half a dozen! Oh well. Glad you enjoyed it, Jenny

Reviewer: beaflower114
Date: 08/01/13 8:11
Chapter: Chapter 31: Infecting Draco

please could you add the next chapter soon? I've really been enjoying your stories about Draco and Hermione. I can't wait to read the next chapter and discover more about the plot of this story! Good luck with your writing
beaflower114

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