Reviewer: charmedone66
Date: 11/19/13 16:14
Chapter: Chapter 42: Supreme Sagamore

Hi,
I just wanted to let you know, I've read all three stories up to this point. I'm so very impressed with you work. The characters are fantastic,as well as the settings, creatures, and spells. I have enjoyed reading your work over the past week and will look forward to the ending of the third in this series. You are very gifted. Keep writing and best wishes. CJ

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 11/18/13 13:49
Chapter: Chapter 42: Supreme Sagamore

You cover a large amount of time with this installment; however, the title does not convey an accurate summation of the content. Perhaps a bit more drama surrounding the Hoxha victory intermingled with D/H's time at WUP would have helped.

Given the seriousness of the Hoxha situation and the news of Lucius's pending release from prison, I hope your plot line meshes the two and formulates a surprise twist in the story that exposes Hoxha's nefarious behaviors.
Just saying

Author's Response: I didn't realize anyone actually paid attention to the titles! I've been mostly using them to help me remember what's going on in the chapter. You have high expectations for the last few chapters in this story and I feel I must warn you, a lot of what you are hoping to see here will not be addressed until Draco and Hermione's junior year at WUP. I have plans, but finals are almost upon us! Thank you for your review, Jenny

Reviewer: beaflower114
Date: 11/14/13 12:36
Chapter: Chapter 41: April in Paris

i've really been enjoying all of your stories! please could you add the new chapter soon, i cant wait to read it :)

Author's Response: I'm sorry my pace has been rather slow. I try to post a chapter a week, but sometimes life gets in the way. Thank you for your review! --Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 11/05/13 13:10
Chapter: Chapter 41: April in Paris

Wow. That was a pretty amazing transformation. If Draco and Hermione keep getting involved in all of these crazy missions then maybe they should wait to get married. If it were me, I'd be flattered that Draco wants to marry me and I'd probably insist we get married sooner rather than later.

Author's Response: I don't plan on marrying them off any time soon. That will be a serious step, because theoretically, they could break up and Hermione could still get back together with Ron to fall into JKR's cannon version of events. But I think I'm too far afield for that now! :-) Thanks, Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 11/02/13 22:39
Chapter: Chapter 41: April in Paris

A rather rough, untidy start to an otherwise informative chapter. The first three paragraphs were poorly constructed, leaving this reader a bit frustrated in the effort. Please pay more attention to the flow of your text and verb tense.
A blind girl on Hermione's floor??? Hmmmm. Perhaps Hermione has a point about who can see her. I hope Claire becomes a character of interest in the future.

Author's Response: I do have plans for Claire, but probably not until the next story. I'm sorry that you were unhappy with the beginning of the chapter -- I think writing in installments can be a bit cumbersome, because I feel the need to bring people back up to speed, since there are breaks in between chapters. I'll try to do a better job of things going forward. Thanks, Jenny

Reviewer: BookWorm530
Date: 11/02/13 21:38
Chapter: Chapter 41: April in Paris

Superb chapter...you are back in the game! I hope Draco wins his argument about him and Hermione moving in together (and possibly an engagement too, eek!). I enjoyed that Hermione didn't fight Draco when he wanted to kiss her instead of study. You had her doing that in previous chapters and I didn't feel that would be her true reaction. We all know Hermione is the braniac but I think being with Draco would have loosened her up a little. Keep it up, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and I'm pleased to receive positive feedback from you. There isn't time for them to become engaged in this story. Maybe the next one. Junior year seems more reasonable, right? ;-) Thanks for the review, Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 10/30/13 15:07
Chapter: Chapter 40: Second Anniversary

I shouldn't admit this pathetic fact but I think the only romance in my life is reading fan fiction:D I swear Draco is the King of Romantic Gestures. I wish I could meet such a wonderful wizard. A wonderful Muggle would work well also:D It was funny when Hermione was a little nervous that Draco was too comfortable with magic in her parents' presence.

Author's Response: Never fear, my life isn't romantic either. In fact, I find the most romantic guys tend not to be the most committed guys. But I like making Draco behave romantically -- it's as if he's making up for all the horrible things he did to Hermione when they were young. Thanks for the review, Jenny

Reviewer: BookWorm530
Date: 10/28/13 22:17
Chapter: Chapter 40: Second Anniversary

We need more chapters like this one...bravo!

Author's Response: Thanks! I really struggle with the "sexy" chapters, so I appreciate the positive response! :-) Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 10/08/13 18:05
Chapter: Chapter 39: Draco's Testimony

I was afraid that Draco was going to have to say that he chose school over his father. What a headache to have to sit around with someone who's just been released from prison. I think that's how it really goes though.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 10/08/13 17:46
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

I didn't expect Luna to come in and save the day. She is very creative. Things are going so well right now. I'm waiting to see what happens next--it will probably be some disaster.

Author's Response: There may be one more sneaking thing up my sleeve, but things are starting to wind down as we head towards the end of the academic year, and the story. Thanks for the review! --Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/29/13 14:49
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

The dialogue was tight and kept the action moving in this chapter. Good job! Make sure you reveal the results of Hermione's WUP photos: maybe they will reveal more than just FFHs for Luna's research!!! A suspect/clue in the landscape, maybe???

I have also noticed a trend in your writing; the repetition of terms that makes the reading a bit heavy and boring. Try to construct your paragraphs in such a way as to use a diverse selection of descriptives. This will not only move the action along, but intrigue your audience and motivate the reader to stay with the story.

Author's Response: I'll try to avoid repetition. Thanks for the advice and the thoughtful review! --Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/29/13 14:49
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

The dialogue was tight and kept the action moving in this chapter. Good job! Make sure you reveal the results of Hermione's WUP photos: maybe they will reveal more than just FFHs for Luna's research!!! A suspect/clue in the landscape, maybe???

I have also noticed a trend in your writing; the repetition of terms that makes the reading a bit heavy and boring. Try to construct your paragraphs in such a way as to use a diverse selection of descriptives. This will not only move the action along, but intrigue your audience and motivate the reader to stay with the story.

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/29/13 14:48
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

The dialogue was tight and kept the action moving in this chapter. Good job! Make sure you reveal the results of Hermione's WUP photos: maybe they will reveal more than just FFHs for Luna's research!!! A suspect/clue in the landscape, maybe???

I have also noticed a trend in your writing; the repetition of terms that makes the reading a bit heavy and boring. Try to construct your paragraphs in such a way as to use a diverse selection of descriptives. This will not only move the action along, but intrigue your audience and motivate the reader to stay with the story.

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/29/13 14:47
Chapter: Chapter 38: Heliopaths to the Rescue

The dialogue was tight and kept the action moving in this chapter. Good job! Make sure you reveal the results of Hermione's WUP photos: maybe they will reveal more than just FFHs for Luna's research!!! A suspect/clue in the landscape, maybe???

I have also noticed a trend in your writing; the repetition of terms that makes the reading a bit heavy and boring. Try to construct your paragraphs in such a way as to use a diverse selection of descriptives. This will not only move the action along, but intrigue your audience and motivate the reader to stay with the story.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/23/13 14:20
Chapter: Chapter 37: Luna and Rolf visit WUP

Sometimes policing-type institutions do the dumbest things just to show they can. And it's equally dumb to not allow Muggle things at school. Why not take what you can use and use it? I have a tiny problem with authority:D Does Hermione have the right to face her accuser? What proof does anyone have that she even did this? Weren't the camera and pictures "stolen"?

Author's Response: I agree with you, but that doesn't make as interesting of a story. ;-) I posted the resolution chapter today, so you should be able to see how things work out soon. Thanks! Jenny

Reviewer: baby54boomer
Date: 09/22/13 16:57
Chapter: Chapter 37: Luna and Rolf visit WUP

Too much narrative and not enough dialogue...a trend that seems to have taken over this story on the whole.

Author's Response: I'll try to include more dialogue going forward. I think I'm juggling too many plot points. As they wind down, it will get easier. Thank you for the feedback, Jenny

Reviewer: kia
Date: 09/18/13 6:34
Chapter: Chapter 36: EWU Admits the Balkan States

Nitpicking a bit but the swedish supreme sagamore would not be called Svensdotter, since that means that he is the daughter of Sven.

Svensson would be the proper last name in this case, meaning son of Sven. It also happens to be a very common last name in Sweden today.

Author's Response: Oh! Good to know. I'll go in a fix that right now. I looked up common Swedish names on the web, but I didn't realize the difference. Thank you! Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/16/13 15:19
Chapter: Chapter 36: EWU Admits the Balkan States

What a nasty little owl! Actually, I wish I had one. Sometimes when I've sent something to my son his roommates get into it before he does. It would be nice to have an owl that would be sure to get the package to my son only. I can't wait to find out who the Nundu is. I still think its stinky breath is funny. Maybe they have rotten teeth or something. This Dritan sounds like a reasonable person. I just hope they can trust him.

Reviewer: CheyChey123
Date: 09/09/13 4:48
Chapter: Chapter 1: Summer Day at the Burrow

Amazing! :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you like the rest of the story as well! --Jenny

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 09/04/13 14:31
Chapter: Chapter 35: Second Nundu Attack

Nundus must be very terrifying but kind of funny if their breath is that bad:D Funny that the attack happened just when Draco and Ardiana broke up. Maybe she's the Nundu.

Author's Response: You are not the only one with those suspicions! I can't take credit for Nundu breath, though. That's from JKR. Thank you for your review! --Jenny

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Put Asunder by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
As a Slytherin Sorted two years after the Battle, Astoria has never been popular...
A Story for Charlie by Darkness Enshrouds 3rd-5th Years
A boy. A girl. A budding romance. If only things never got complicated... (Violence...
Scorpius Malfoy and the Salem Witch Trials by Hotrav 3rd-5th Years
The third story in the Scorpius Malfoy and the Sins of the Fathers series. Lucius...
FEATURED
My Troubled Tyrant by Belledeg Professors
Keedie Dante has experienced many amazing things during her time at Hogwarts...
His and Hers by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
In a perfect world, Neville and Hannah's wedding would go off without a hitch...
All This Waiting For The Sky To Fall by Dawnie 1st-2nd Years
They found her body - broken, bleeding, face filled with signs of pain and fear...
Sanguini, the Vampire by teh tarik 6th-7th Years
Vampirism is the persistence and the perpetuity of the body, a madness of the...
Lost and Found by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
When Tracey Davis's financial security was a casualty of war, her family is...
CATEGORIES