MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: Equinox Chick
(Signed) · Date:
10/22/13 4:36 · For:
I’m going to start by saying that it is an utter crime that this has no reviews because as I’m reading, I’m completely drawn into this world and the mystery.
You write characters so well here, and the description of the crime scene in the opening chapter, was so vivid, it was almost like being there. I’m immediately inside Theo as he investigates and can feel everything he feels, from his disgust towards the house-elf death through Aurora Lestrange’s sadness, and finally to his resignation and carefully controlled feelings towards Dennis Creevey’s articles. This is a great and plausible Post-Hogwarts world you’ve drawn here, with a thumping good mystery at its heart, so well done for that.
I like the way you’ve written canon characters here. Susan and her OCD is a fabulous take on her. I’m not sure she would be that in awe of Harry, mind you, because she had known him at Hogwarts and she does come from a renowned family herself. However, that’s more of a personal observation than a criticism. Harry is a strength. He’s obviously matured quickly, which he’d have to do, obviously, and I like the way he takes charge and makes his own mind up, which is very in keeping with the books. He gives people chances as well, which is so very in character.
OH, and just as I was really warming to an OC, you go and kill her! I loved Hattie Jones. I thought her ideas about the reconciliation within the magical world were wonderful and really the only way to prevent another war. Resentment breeds resentment, after all. Dennis’s continued persecution of Theo is getting me down, I must say. I’m not entirely sure why he hates him so much. Yes, Theo’s father was a Death Eater, but Theo has been cleared. Is there other evidence we don’t know about, or another reason for this hatred, I wonder?
One problem I do have with this world is that I haven’t read your other canon for Theo. I know how you portray his character, having read several other drabbles and stories, but I’m not au fait with this particular world. Whilst you do give the back story at certain points in the story, which means I’m not totally confused, it does make me feel that this story is rather reliant on previous fics. This isn’t really a weakness, as I will probably go back and read them, but it is something that prevents me from fully enjoying the story as I keep thinking there must be other explanations for Dennis’s behaviour, for example, or Helena’s role in Theodore’s life.
I do hope you finish this. The mystery is very good. It really did draw me in, especially the knowledge that the killer is obviously targeting Theo. ‘Tick-Tock, Theodore Nott’ - that note sent shivers through me. Well done! ~Carole~