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Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 09/03/12 21:45 · For: One: The Case Against Neville Augustus Longbottom
Ooooooo!!! Exciting!!

Name: Ginny Weasley Potter (Signed) · Date: 09/03/12 20:07 · For: Prologue
Hey Jamie!

Ha, when I saw Harry and Neville being mentioned, I suspected something but then I saw the warnings and realised this was something else. Anyway, I enjoy good mysteries, like I just told you, and this is really, really good!

First of all, I loved the 'FACT' and 'SUSPECT' method. I never imagined the Auror department would be divided into several tinier departments to sort out homicide, unusual crimes, etc and this was very innovative of you. :)

Harry is well characterised. I can just see him as a busy fellow with ever-growing stacks of parchment. Slightly frustrated, older and still so Harry.

Grabbing McKinnon by the shoulder, Harry pulled him back and away from the knot of people around the body. "If you're going to interrogate him, at least have the decency to arrest him first," he growled.

I loved this. This was very much like him.

Although Harry would reserve his judgement until he'd walked the grounds, he couldn't help agreeing - nor could he quell the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was somehow returning home.

I loved this too. It's wonderful that after so many years, Harry would feel that way about going to Hogwarts and if I had written the same thing, I'd have forgotten to mention this. Somehow, this little piece of information meant a lot and really put the icing on the cake.

Now about Neville. Well, I have no words. He's fantastic! So perfect! I could see the mixture of post-war Neville, Professor Longbottom and pre-war "why is it always me?" Neville too. It was a perfect combination and I can see Neville exactly this way at forty three.Yep, you ARE the Neville expert and I applaud you for that!

The murder itself-- you've got the medical stuff so right! Me likey! I am particularly (understandably) obsessed with medical details and I love it when someone describes them with such perfection. In the Muggle world Dragonbane would be strychnine (I'm guessing from the post-mortem details you've given). :D I wrote a strychnine poisoning myself and that's a deadly one. I wonder why someone killed Marcus Akers in such a way. I mean, poisoning to the spine is a very, very painful way to die. :o

This is golden, Jamie, and I'm moving to chapter 1 just now. And I'm so glad I decided to come try this out! It's wonderful! I'm going to have fun following this one and getting to the end. You've researched well and your characterisation is spot-on. Also, the writing is gripping and very professional. Well done!

Pooja xo

Name: Lost_Robin (Signed) · Date: 09/03/12 14:28 · For: One: The Case Against Neville Augustus Longbottom
Oh my good Godric!! Harry arrested Neville! Poor Neville. It just seems a bit obvious to have Neville murder Marcus. And I love your banner, especially Harry.

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 09/03/12 13:53 · For: One: The Case Against Neville Augustus Longbottom
Very well done. i like the use of official reports and notes to not only show why Harry believes Neville is guilty, but to make us believe it as well. I'm still not entirely sure that Neville really is the murderer, but you have set it up very well to make it plausible. I can't wait to read more, even if Neville (a personal favorite, by the way) is being painted as a villain.

Name: PeppermintToads (Signed) · Date: 08/26/12 3:49 · For: Prologue
Wow. This is pretty dark writing. I like how you incorporated the facts and such throughout the chapter, it really helps to break it down. Can't wait to hear more!

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 08/26/12 0:58 · For: Prologue
Excellent start. The facts are well-placed and Harry's character comes through very well. The stakes are high and the mystery is wound perfectly. I can't wait to read more.

Name: malfoyismine (Signed) · Date: 08/25/12 23:26 · For: Prologue
Please update!

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