Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 03/18/13 14:46
Chapter: Chapter 1

You paint such a vile picture here of a Death Eater meeting (the particular use of 'cankered blood' made me shudder) one wonders why hey joined - ha ha. I imagine Lucius being somewhat reviled, at first, and yet I can see him getting drawn in to the real darkness here. Bellatrix, of course, would be leading from the front.

The way you've mixed the very real images of eating 'feeding death', 'ravenous bellies' really do lend the poem a horrific air as you realise they are gorging themselves on death and getting a real kick out of it.

Amongst the horror here, I loved the way you snuck in the 'satin spell' image because the Death Eaters were seduced by thoughts of power and Voldy's words, so satin is a wonderfully seductive word to use in this context.

Chilling poem. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/18/12 15:25
Chapter: Chapter 1

I'm a Death Eater! Okay not really. :D
I of course loved it. I noticed, though, that the first two stanzas sort of rhyme, and the last two don't. What I mean is, in the first stanza, "masks" and "past" share the same vowel sound, and therefore give a sense of rhythm and rhyme. The same happens with the second stanza with "pink" and "eat." Just something I noticed. :)
I really enjoyed the spider imagery. It reminded me of the story, The Spider and the Fly, in which the spider does all he can to flatter the lady fly, and she finally gives in and he ties her up for a later meal.
Chills are running down my spine...

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 07/18/12 13:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

Merlin, that's dark! Eeeeep! The language is so, so...icky and squishy and just dark. And I mean that in the best of ways, because it really, really gives the poem a haunting, evil air -- which you would expect from the title, lol.
I might suggest changing the 'happily' in the last stanza though, because you just used 'Happy' earlier in the line and it kind of jumped out at me. Unless you wanted that double use, in which case...I would still suggest another word (gladly, perhaps?) because there are too many other gorgeous words and images in here to repeat a word like happy. Unless you were going for irony, in which case...I'll shut up now. LOL!! Great, great poem!
~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES