Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 07/19/12 13:38
Chapter: The Eyes That Do Not See

Oooh, that is angsty! But it's quite good - you've captured the sad, almost devastated side of Petunia that we don't often see. Usually we are just left with her bitterness: this shows her anger and heartbreak as well, over both not having magic and losing her sister to it.
I thought your language and the form was great, although the 'thine' did jump out at me as not quite fitting in with the rest of the poem. Mostly because you use 'my' and 'me' and 'your' and an old-fashioned 'thine' doesn't fit with them. I'm guessing you don't want a 'my' there, though, so maybe 'these eyes'? Just a suggestion, hope I haven't offended!
Lovely (dark) poem!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) I'm not sure why the thine was put in there; I thought it kind of gave it flair. I'm a theater kid, though, so flair i everywhere for me, lol. But I'm so very glad you enjoyed it :)

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/18/12 3:10
Chapter: The Eyes That Do Not See

Again, I just loved this poem! It is so wonderful! I cannot fault it!

Author's Response: Yay! *Bows down low* My deepest gratitude, my dear.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Skeletons' Tale by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," wrote Shakespeare. This story...
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES