MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Cruciatus

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 10/20/13 15:21 · For: Shadows
Gina, how have I never seen this? It’s fabulous and very thought provoking. The way you’ve written this, in such an elegant style, really makes me shiver because whilst I’m admiring the imagery, I’m compelled by the harm this curse does to its victims.

The rhyme scheme here adds to the style and never feels at all forced which can often happen with structured verse. I think the fact that you employed rhyming couplets and a different layout, really helped both the flow of the piece and the story. There’s a real feel of intensity about the pain the Longbottoms are going through; their only hope being their unharmed son.

I ... have no crit, except that I wish you’d write more poetry because I never fail to enjoy it.

Well done! ~Carole~

Name: goldensnidget92 (Signed) · Date: 02/03/13 18:03 · For: Shadows
I found this poem really fascinating to read, because whilst it is quite lyrical, with a soft, lilting rhythm, its content is very dark, and the contrast was striking. In fact, there were a lot of contrasting elements to the poem which I noticed, and that I think worked really well together. For example, the physical layout of it immediately stood out, and made me wonder whether the fragmented verses paralleled the fragmentation of the character’s mind. This staccato appearance challenged the simple, consistent rhyme scheme, and yet the two balanced each other out, making the poem flow seamlessly.

Your command of language was really powerful “ I particularly loved the phrase “torturous contortions”. If you read it out loud, your mouth becomes slightly contorted because it’s difficult to say, and therefore it echoed the contorting effects of the Cruciatus Curse perfectly. I also liked how you brought in recurring words to help emphasise the ideas you were exploring. The way “shadows” was repeated frequently seemed to me to highlight the intangible nature of the victim’s pain: they aren’t being tortured with any physical object, but with something we can’t quite grasp at. I suppose that could even make the effects of the curse even more maddening, because the victim must find it impossible to express the true pain they suffer.

I thought your approach to the effects of the curse was excellent: especially the way you used language to emphasise the theme. When you mention the “shadows coiling around my heart” and the “tendrils of fire curling around me”, you conjured an image (in my mind at least) of a snake wrapping the victim in a death-grip, and I think that was particularly apt for this theme. It not only represents the cruel, cold-blooded, twisted nature of the torturer but also (more abstractly) connects them to the serpent of Slytherin house.

One of the most impressive elements of the poem was your subtle introduction of the characters towards the end of it. I hadn’t really wondered who might be the voice of the victim when I started reading, but when you suddenly said “our fate has been sealed,” I began to think more about the characters. Leaving it until the last line to reveal that they’re Neville’s parents (made even more powerful by the fact that you only imply this) worked so effectively, and seemed to be the perfect way to end it. Their devotion to their son, the fact that they will endure this “lingering hell” in order to preserve his safety, reflects the hope that the poem ends with, and provides an uplifting sensation to an otherwise dark poem.


Name: Nagini Riddle (Signed) · Date: 07/06/12 20:46 · For: Shadows
Wow! Loved this poem! Am I correct in thinking that this is about the Longbottoms?
I especially liked how you placed the lines, staggering the stanzas. It really helps it move along in a jagged way, kind of like the cruciatus curse does. And the rhyme seemed effortless and beautiful! Wow! Not cheesy or silly, but absolutely stunning! *jaw drops to the floor in amazement* GREAT JOB!!!!!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it, I really appreciate the review. And yes, you are correct. I didn't set out to write about them, but as I was writing that's where it went. Thanks again! ~Gina :)

Name: GinnyPotter95 (Signed) · Date: 07/05/12 17:48 · For: Shadows
Is this about Frank and Alice Longbottom? Wonderful Poem!~Nidhi

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yes, it is, so I'm glad that came out. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.