Splendid! It was like reading a missing chapter from HP7-DH. I always thought this was oddly missing from HP7-DH.
Seems like it was written by JKR.
Author's Response: Aw, what a great compliment! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review -- I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Wow! Nearest to canon of all the ones I've read about this scene. They don't profess undying love to each other and you don't mention Ron learning Parseltongue 5 years ago, when I think he learned the phrase as Harry opened the locket. I love the book idea, all the horcruxes that we see in the book die very differently so any story that has the cup morphing into Ron mocking Hermione doesn't seem to do justice to the original book.
Author's Response: Oh dear. Glad I've not encountered the idea that Ron learned Parseltongue along the way. As I see it in canon, it's a gifting, not something you can really learn. Ron's managed one phrase, but I doubt he could hold a conversation, haha! I'm glad you liked this and thought it worked well into existing canon. I so appreciate your comments and you taking the time to leave a review! Cheers! ~Lori
I love stories that add something in-between the original.
Favourite phrase: ``sick symphony``- great alliteration, good imagery.
Author's Response: So sorry! I have no idea how I never saw this review before, but I apologize for taking so long to respond. Glad you thought that phrase worked... was a bit a afraid it was too dramatic, but it's Voldy, after all. He often goes for the drama. Hehe. Thanks for always taking time to leave a review--I appreciate it so much! ~Lori
In canon, this is oft a Gryffindor realm,
But several times, the Slyths took the helm.
Here, on the boards, the Badgers win tidily,
But methinks the rest could come roaring back mightily!
Author's Response: I feel so used. ;)
I like that you had Hermione have a vision as she destroyed the Horcrux. Better than in the movie as she didn't there.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. :)
This is actually pretty much how I would have imagined their little venture to the Chamber of Secrets to have been :) The form that the Horcrux assumed also felt suitable for Hermione, I can imagine that's her biggest insecurity. I wish you would have elaborated on that part more, though, as it felt like the core of the story. Overall I liked the dialogue between the two, very IC! Well done :)
Author's Response: Hmmm... I know there could have been more detail in what the Horcrux put her through, but for me, that part was the climax of the story, not the core. The core here, with these two, has always been the journey. But maybe that's just me. :) Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review. I'm glad you thought it was believable.
This is..staggering. I love the important details - that Ron remembers there is no way out but flying, that they are so very careful with the fangs, how long those fangs would be, that the hole small enough for a twelve year old Ron or Harry wouldn't be large enough for them at 17, and how well you integrated them, with no sense of explainy explainy-ness.
I am absolutely floored by how well you've handled what the horcrux actually does to Hermione. I don't really recall anything that amazing happening when Harry destroyed the book, perhaps because he was a Horcrux himself, but what it did to Ron was epic - and you have put what it does to Hermione on the same level. Of course, a book - I wondered to begin with if it just being a book would make it difficult enough for her, but what it said to her...
And Ron's warning is perfect. "He lies." It's not just that it's a simple, powerful truth about Voldemort. It's not just that it is simple and pure enough to hang on to through what she's - it's that it goes back to a name for Satan, the father of lies, and ties in without being explicit just how far gone Voldemort is, in these, the most evil of his "accomplishments..."
(And I love that he misjudged the distance and they sort of ran into the bathroom wall... ;-) )
Author's Response: Wow. I've read this review three times now -- is that wrong? I'm so glad you liked the story and thought it worked as a believable missing moment. I will admit that I was pretty much carrying CoS and DH around with me everywhere for the time I was writing this, afraid I would make some canon error because so much of the physical setting is known in the books. (I actually did make an error in spite of all the research, but was lucky to have it pointed out early on so I could correct it.) As for the book, I honestly couldn't think of anything else that might tempt Hermione to give her attention to it. As brilliant as she is, as much as she knows and has studied about the Horcruxes... it had to be something that suprised her, as well as something she would instinctually trust. That's why I chose it. Plus I just thought the image of the pages whirling on their own was scary and cool. Hehe. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to leave such a thoughtful review. This fic has been in my imagination for a long time and it was a joy to write -- I'm thrilled you thought it was a good read, as well. Take care. ~ Lori
Wow, this is beautiful. A million times better than how the movie showed it. They botched the one thing I was curious about- what the horcrux makes Hermione see.
Author's Response: Yeah, the movie disappointed in that scene, didn't it? I have to learn to like it because it's the only Romione kiss I'm ever gonna see, but still. There was something missing. I'm so glad you thought this worked as a missing moment. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review--I really appreciate it! ~Lori
This is perhaps my favourite Romione fic thus far.
I'm glad that you didn't take any liberties and make too much happen in the Chamber. You built it up just right for the eventual kiss that happens later on.
I LOVE the idea of what the Horcrux showed Hermione. I always wondered what insecurities Hermione would have. You dd a good job picking them up, and compiling them the way you did.
You showed the intense side of Ron without deviating from his "emotional range of a teaspoon" character. You stuck to his personality, yet you showed how much he cared about Hermione.
Definitely a fic I would come back to read again!
Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I definitely wanted it to work as a true missing moment, working with existing canon. Good that you thought my choices for Hermione's insecurities worked all right--to be honest, I was worried about that because we just don't know what it might have shown her. I think there are a few ways it could go, but this was the one I couldn't get out of my head. Thanks again for taking the time to read and review this. I'm thrilled you liked it enough to consider a reread! Take care! ~Lori
Oh Lori, this is wonderful. I loved the way you showed Hermione's insecurities. It's always been something I've thought about - what the horcrux did to her when she killed it. I think the book was a really clever idea. Not only that, I thought you caught Hermione's voice really well throughout the entire fic, the way she isn't sure about Ron's feelings even though it's rather obvious. They're so very similar, in that regard! You really know how to push my Romione buttons, Lori :P Thanks for another fab read!
Author's Response: So sorry, I didn't realize I hadn't responded to your review! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review this one, Julia. I really wasn't planning to get involved with this challenge, but when I saw Carole's drawing, I knew I had to do it. I've imagined it so many times, in so many different ways. And I've always thought something important must have happened between them down there, because of the way Rowling wrote Hermione when Harry came upon them in the corridor. I'm so glad you liked it, and thought it worked. Pushing your Romione buttons is motivation enough to keep me writing Romione forever--haha. (That, and my own hardcore addiction, of course.) :) Thanks so much, Julia! <3
You write the best Ron and Hermione stories. This moment was perfectly in character and I liked the underlying UST. I so appreciate a clever, confident, and joking Ron.
I wish you wrote more of these moments!
Author's Response: I was so glad to see you'd read this. :) I always appreciate you reading and taking the time to leave a reivew. So glad you enjoyed the UST, and of course, Ron. Sigh. ;) More of these are coming, so stay tuned. Thanks again! ~ Lori
This was an excellent missing moment, Lori. As usual, you captured Ron and Hermione's characterisations perfectly. It's certainly interesting to think about what Hermione's experience with the Horcrux might have been - after all, Ron's insecurities were always rather obvious, but Hermione keeps those things to herself. I'm glad you didn't make it something to do with marks/intelligence, like her Boggart in third year, though, because this Hermione has matured far beyond that, and I think she wouldn't be convinced at all.
To start off with, I loved that it was a book, because if anything could persuade Hermione, it would be a book. The narration over the images was also perfect, because while those images were essentially true, the narrator can manipulate them the way he wants.
You've done a great job with Ron here too - he is often seen as the lesser of the trio, but I think he's just as important (you just have to look at how Harry and Hermione coped when he left), and you've really shown that here. I loved it when his only advice to Hermione was "He lies", because that's so much more useful to her than explaining a lot.
You've really set up the chemistry between them well, through the dialogue especially. I so wanted them to kiss at that moment... but of course they couldn't. I like how you linked it to canon though - Hermione seems a bit unsure about what to do with her feelings at the start of this, and I think that almost kiss enables her to kiss Ron later (if that makes any sense).
Just one small canon detail - I think the entrance to the Chamber lay in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, just a normal girls' bathroom, not the Prefect's bathroom.
Anyway, you've really captured this pair at such an important moment for them so well!
Author's Response: Oh, Katrina, how you have saved me. :) I was sick to my stomach when I saw that you were right about my canon error--and a mongo-huge, glaring one at that. (hangs head shamefully) Believe it or not, I did research that, but have only skimmed because I left the research believing the two bathrooms (Myrtle's and the Prefects one) were one and the same. Anyway. Thanks so much for pointing out so I could correct it, which I did immediately upon realizing it. This is why you are one of the best reviewers around this place. You aren't afraid to point out crit/problems, and yet I always leave your reviews feeling like a million bucks as I head off to correct an error. That is a gift, my dear. :) I'm so glad you got what I was trying to do with the narrative voice over the images. The memories are a bit painful/disturbing on their own, but the things the boys said in real life would hardly have debilitated her as the Horcrux-Voldy intended. And the last image, of the boys intending to leave without her, was an outright lie. So, yeah. Glad you thought that worked all right. Thanks so much for this fabulouss review. It means a lot when readers take the time to thoughtfully consider anything I've written, and you do so quite regularly. <3 *hugs* ~Lori
Lori, this was wonderful. I loved every bit of it. You had me hooked through the whole thing, and my eyes were wide with anticipation at some points and I was snorting with laughter in others. Ron sounded so mature, but the little jokes and jibes he made kept him true to his character. I loved how he tucked Hermione's hair behind her ear without realising how intimate it is - typical Ron! I enjoyed how they crashed into the wall too, you had me laughing hard. Hermione seemed rounded and well balanced, and I'm happy you included the little details like how Hermione was worried about flying - these make her sound so real. I always wondered what Hermione would have seen while destroying the cup, and what you've written seemed to answer my question. You've done a great job writing about her insecurities, and I loved how you put in the book.
The writing was so well done that it could be attached seamlessly to the books. If I had written this fic I'm pretty sure I'd have missed out on some points, like the caved in wall, but you didn't and that's awesome. Other than a few errors here and there I felt that it was wonderfully written. This was much, much better than what they'd done in the movies.
I was squealing when I read this line: “Ron,” she whispered. His eyes dropped to her lips, and she lifted her chin to him. I went like, they're gonna kiss! But then that explosion happened and I slumped back against my chair, pouting. Now I think that what you did was great, though. I'm glad Hermione didn't get to kiss him here, though she did try, because now they can do it properly in the middle of a war. lol.
Once again, Lori, this was absolutely brilliant. Keep up the good work! -Nadia
Author's Response: Hey, Nadia! Thanks so much for reading this and leaving such a wonderful, thoughtful review! I'm so glad you felt that Ron and Hermione both were believable and in character and the events of this event not too far beyond the realm of canon. It can be a hard line to walk... keeping to the canon boundaries and still creating an idea original enough to warrant reading. I'm glad you loved/hated the almost kiss--that was just the reaction I was hoping for. I wanted everyone to sigh with frustration when they didn't, and then be relieved because it means there are going to very, VERY soon. Hehe. To be honest, I think the way Rowling wrote Hermione after this event told us very clearly that something important happened down there. She's just beaming and giving Ron all the credit, and so excited... I've never believed that kiss in the RoR was solely the response to his comment about the elves. Yes, that concern for the house elves broke down the very last of her reserve, but it had been building up for a while. I wanted to provide some of that. Your review was wonderful. :) I only wish you'd mentioned the errors more specifically so I might be able to work through them if necessary. Katrina has pointed out a very embarrassing canon error that I've relieved to have corrected now, so that may have been part of what you were referring to. But I always like to know those things so I can fix it up. Thanks again for taking the time to read and review. Every one I receive makes me enormously grateful. Take care, Lori.
You've done it again. How is your characterization so dead-on EVERY TIME? I think JK Rowling would approve. Marvelous story. Thanks for the time and effort you put in to posting this.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much, Alyssa. I've been wanting to write this story for a really long time, Then, when I saw Carole's drawing, I just had to go for it in case someone else beat me to it. LOL. It was really fun imagining the details. Thanks for your wonderful encouragement, and for taking the time to read and review. :) ~ Lori
Wow! I think my favorite part was when Ron cursed Voldemort because he had almost killed his sister in that very chamber. It brought back do many memories! I think you did a phenomenal job on this missing moment! ;) since you captured that chamber so well, maybe you would consider writing the missing moment of when Ginny was down in the same chamber, crying, fussing, and finally losing consciousness... I know you would ace that! Plus, I'm eager to read a Tom Riddle fic, and my favorite book from the series was the CoS, so please consider writing this. :)
Author's Response: Hi there. Thanks so much for reading--I'm thrilled you enjoyed the fic and thought it worked. I don't see myself writing anything in the Chamber again though. I felt repetitive enough trying to recreate it from CoS without messing up any of JKR's description. It was fun this time, but I doubt I could do it again without boring myself to death. There are Tom Riddle fics out there, though, so happy hunting! Thanks again for reading and taking the time to review. I really appreciate it! ~ Lori
This is great stuff. But I'm curious as to why the Horcrux only shows Hermione images of Harry and Ron talking about her - she doesn't hear the actual words they're saying. Is that because, for her, the narrative voice in a book is more convincing? Or maybe, her own imagination is more powerful and hurtful than any possible reality? Or does the Horcrux just feel unable to show too much detail without the falsity of the scene becoming apparent?
Author's Response: Hmmm. I think the Horcrux in this case (Voldemort, for all practical purposes) wants to lie to her by twisting that which really did happen. It shows her pictures of things that are easy to believe were real occurances, and yet, by not letting her hear the dialogue, he can control what she takes from the viewing. So even though Ron and Harry were mad at her about the incident with the broomstick, for example, I don't think hearing those words now would really make her feel that insecure. SHe knew they were mad, and she's said stuff over hte years too. But Voldemort tells her lies along with the images to plant (and play off of) different insecurities inside her... that the boys don't really want her as much as they NEED her. If she had only seen the real scenes, it wouldn't have been a lie. And Voldemort lies. Again, I based much of this off what we saw with Ron, and how he tried to wreck him and immobilize him so he couldn't destroy it. And I went from there. Good question. :) Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review. I appreciate it so much. Glad you liked it! ~Lori
So. I love you.
Okay, I'm going to leave a much better review than that, but it needs to be said.
And I think I've said about 102983109283 times that I just love this period of Ron and Hermione when Ron is so much more than people give him credit for and and all the emotion that must be pent up is just AGGGGH it makes me melt. There are so many subtleties and possibilities for them to miscommunicate or hurt each other because they just haven't taken that final step and yet they are SO CLOSE and I love this because its just right there. I still hold that you are the best writer of Ron and Hermione I've ever seen, because there are so many facets of their relationship that I love that I both identify with and feel like you just NAIL- the way Hermione struggles to not only trust him in everything, but to communicate that to him, and to let go of leading him everywhere, the way Ron struggles to have confidence in himself, the way they struggle not to jump to the wrong conclusions and make false assumptions when the other person means well, the way they always come back to each other...I could go on, but you get the point.
" "Ron, you don't honestly believe you can--"
"Yes, I do!" he snapped defensively. "S'pose I'm the only one who does, though. That seems about right."
She started to say something more but thought better of it, feeling both guilty and right at the same time. "
Love that. Just...love. And while I firmly believe that Hermione respects Ron already, I like how she keeps looking at him differently even now after everything after seeing what they went through in the Chamber. And the only thing he says down here is about stopping Voldemort, no bragging.
I've always thought that Hermione would have had to have had a similiar experience to Ron's in the Chamber, but hated that we've never known it. I like that this version is that after everything shes been through, she's still insecure that she doesn't belong anywhere, and that's she's only being used. That scene where Ron caresses her cheek...be still, my heart.
So, in conclusion, I love you and thank you for linking this. I haven't read fanfiction in a while :( but man I love a good Ron and Hermione and this was just so delightful. Siiiiiigh.
Also, I haven't left a review in a million years so this might be formatted really terribly. Apologies!
Author's Response: It was formatted perfectly, you sweet thing. :) I hope you didn't feel pressured to read after I pimped this out to you lj, but I couldn't resist. There are lots of wonderful Romione fans around this place, but I always think of you being the same kind of squealy as my over them. I figured, if Amanda squeals, the story is okay. LOL. So yay, you liked it! I completely agree with the way you described this time for them, really beginning around the time of Dumbledore's death. I wonder if that event created a kind of desperation in all of those fighting for the good, and desperation sometimes makes people less able to keep their emotions under cover. It's that "now or never" idea that Ron even mentions on page 626. Hehe. Thanks so much for all your lovely comments, Amanda. They made my day, and also made me want to read your Confessions fic again ~ love that one so much! Enjoy your vacation, and RELAX! Love you, too, friend!! ~ Lori
Okay, confession time. I drew that picture because I've always wanted to know what Hermione saw and have never been able to fathom it out. I am just so so so so pleased that it was you who wrote this story because this has now slipped perfectly into my canon head.
This is quite amazing. Your characterisation of Ron is, of course, perfect, and I love him tenfold. But I love Hermione, too, and for me that's quite a big thing because usually i find her a little 'meh'. She's certainly a character I prefer when she's either sniping at Ron, or thumping Draco, or being bested by Ron, and not dancing in a tent with Harry *frowns*.
Her fear was so very well done. For a moment I thought you were going to have a similar fear to her Boggart in POA, but I should have known better. yes, it was a book, but all the insecurities that we only glimpse in the books in her first year, must have stayed with her in some form. No one ever really loses the bits they hate of their life *sigh*.
This is just wonderful. it should win the challenge. I will begin lobbying now - hee hee. It has also made me wish I'd written the bloody story myself - but I know I could not have written it as well.
I have run out of superlatives - so accept a cake ~Carole~
Author's Response: Hermione is just so capable and confident in so many areas that it's hard to figure out what the Horcrux would go after. Ron is easy! He wears his insecurities on his sleeve! But Hermione... the things that upset her are relationship things, things to do with the friendships between the three of them (even Ron and Harry having trouble and making up made her cry). So I thought the insecurity for her would be that that friendship is not what she thinks it is... that she doesn't fit the way the other two do. I had no intention of getting into the challenge, not with the brawl and rumors of a challenge in the CC making their way around the boards. But as soon as I scrolled down and saw your picture, I thought, Oh Crap. ;) Because it had been there in my head for so long without an excuse to buckle down and write the thing. Thanks so much for providing the inspiration! Thanks also for the cake, which I do not intend to share, and for the other thing I noticed earlier in Fiction Junction... I've very grateful. And thanks for this lovely review, too! *hugs* ~Lori
Brilliant!!! Particularly the part where there's a very Hermione reaction of "Ron doesn't know what he's doing!" Love her eating a little crow here!
Author's Response: Yes, I've always wondered how she reacted to his attempting Parseltongue, so that was fun to write. They both grow a lot in DH and I wanted her to apologize for it. She is completely enthralled when we first see them after this in canon... suppose I wanted to humble her a bit. :) Thanks for reading and always taking the time to review. I appreciate it! ~ Lori