Reviews For Alchemy
Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 12/24/13 0:02
Chapter: Chapter 1 Alchemy

As time passes I find more enjoyment in your stories about Albus Dumbledore, and Jacqueline and the Flamels. Again, the story is just a slice of life (or rather, several slices), but it shows that a slice of even a seemingly unexciting life can be interesting, revealing the humanity that is in all of us, including the vast majority of us who are neither heroic nor famous.

It would have been difficult for me to understand or properly appreciate this story without having read its predecessor “Fool’s Gold”, but I enjoyed your depiction of Albus Dumbledore in both these stories, spanning well over 41 years total (if my math is correct), showing a consistency in his patient and relaxed nature, but an evolution in his wisdom.

I was a little confused about the time sequence between when Jacqueline gave birth and when she reappeared in the laboratory. Dumbledore says to Nicholas, “She gave birth and hour ago,” but when Jacqueline steps into the laboratory, he says, “You almost died last night.” Perhaps we are to infer an elapsing of several hours between these two remarks, or perhaps Dumbledore was simply exaggerating the shortness of the time since her delivery by saying “…an hour ago.”

Because Jacqueline is close to death in the final paragraph, I imagine we will see no more about this character, but it has been enjoyable to see this glimpse of Nicholas Flamel, alchemy, and magic in France.

Author's Response: This story was really complicated. I'm glad that you stuck through and read it. You know when you write or read something and come back later and you think that this is horrible? It's confusing? It's choppy? You have no idea where your mind was when framing this idea? That's how I feel about this. I'm glad that you enjoyed the idea behind this. I think it was forty years ...? You pay good attention.

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/08/12 6:59
Chapter: Chapter 1 Alchemy

Well, I have to admit I was a little lost while reading. I couldn't quite follow what was happening. I found that you had very vivid imagery, which is always beautiful, but I was just confused! I'm so sorry! I didn't understand the relations going on, and sometimes could not tell when it was Dumbledore or Flamel speaking.
I give you an A for effort! And hopefully, I'm just really tired and unable to really follow much at the moment. *buries face in hands*

Author's Response: This was a confusing reading. I'm trying to focus n writing when I have the time and not just write something, because realize that a written piece needs to make sense. There needs to be explanations and purposes for the reader and the thing doesn't need to jump off haphazardly off the wall. This was thrown together and the snippets make so sense. It lacks a lot. I agree. Thank you for the review.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
M.I.T.: Entente Cordiale by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
FEATURED
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...
CATEGORIES