Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: clibin009 (Signed) · Date: 05/16/16 3:16 · For: One

In burberry outlet online the ralph lauren polo shade air jordan of the longchamp house, hollister clothing store in the oakley sunglasses sunshine cheap nike shoes of polo outlet the louis vuitton outlet riverbank michael kors outlet near the boats, in the coach outlet shade baseball bats of ray ban uk the ralph lauren outlet Sal-wood oakley forest, nike free run in ugg soldes the shade moncler jackets of the jordan 11 fig instyler tree is where Siddhartha cheap oakley sunglasses grew up, the hogan sito ufficiale handsome uggs on sale son of louis vuitton outlet stores the ugg Brahman, the young michaelkors-outlet-store falcon, ugg boots clearance together with iphone case his oakley sunglasses cheap friend louboutin pas cher Govinda, nike roshe son christian louboutin of a louis vuitton outlet Brahman. louboutin The tn pas cher sun tanned his jordan retro light ugg outlet shoulders canada goose by gucci shoes the herve leger banks of bottes ugg the reebok outlet river when lululemon canada bathing, michael kors outlet online performing hollister canada the nike roshe sacred gucci belts ablutions, oakley sunglasses wholesale the nike shoes sacred coach factory offerings. In cheap oakley sunglasses the mango p90x grove, ferragamo shoes shade true religion poured into nike roshe run his nike tn pas cher black eyes, when playing as ugg pas cher a michael kors outlet online sale boy, ugg boots when nike free run his abercrombie mother sang, jordan 4 when jordans the sacred karen millen uk offerings christian louboutin were canada goose jackets made, when toms shoes his father, the scholar, nike factory outlet taught him, michael kors outlet online when the wise men talked. For longchamp pas cher a long nike air max 2015 time, Siddhartha moncler jackets had michael kors bags been partaking gucci bags in oakley pas cher the doudoune moncler discussions barbour outlet of canada goose the nike free run wise men, practising red bottom shoes debate with nike air max Govinda, practising michael kors with toms outlet Govinda the art uggs of lancel reflection, fake oakleys the nike blazer pas cher service air jordan pas cher of nike air max meditation. chanel handbags He canada goose outlet already louboutin knew true religion jeans how coach outlet store online to speak the fake rolex Om silently, the word ugg uk of jordan shoes words, to new balance speak cheap oakley sunglasses it michael kors silently into himself while ray ban inhaling, jimmy choo outlet to phone cases speak cheap nfl jerseys it christian louboutin silently coach outlet out of jerseys himself while ugg outlet exhaling, with oakley vault all ugg boots the uggs concentration nike blazer of oakley vault his louis vuitton purses soul, the forehead nike air max surrounded by air max the glow ugg boots of longchamp outlet online the true religion outlet clear-thinking coach bags spirit. michael kors outlet He kate spade handbags already knew supra shoes to abercrombie feel Atman in the depths prada handbags of his vans being, barbour jackets uk indestructible, iphone cases one replica watches with the universe.


But more than all michael kors outlet the others he was oakley sunglasses loved louis vuitton by Govinda, instyler ionic styler his oakley sunglasses cheap friend, the christian louboutin uk son sac michael kors of jordan 1 a ugg boots clearance Brahman. nike trainers He loved louis vuitton outlet online Siddhartha's karen millen eye ugg boots uk and michael kors outlet sweet voice, mont blanc he loved north face uk his timberland pas cher walk michael kors outlet and vanessa bruno pas cher the scarpe hogan perfect decency nike outlet store of lululemon outlet his north face jackets movements, true religion jeans he discount oakley sunglasses loved longchamp outlet online everything air max Siddhartha polo ralph lauren outlet did and said coach factory outlet and hermes pas cher what he ray ban sunglasses loved valentino shoes most was ugg boots his babyliss pro spirit, nike trainers uk his jordan 6 transcendent, nike store fiery ugg boots thoughts, his sac burberry ardent ray ban sunglasses will, his nike free run uk high calling. oakleysunglasses1.us.com Govinda burberry knew: he michael kors bags would pandora jewelry not hermes bags become a longchamp bags common Brahman, nike roshe run not tory burch outlet online a lazy hollister clothing official hollister in ralph lauren outlet charge louis vuitton of offerings; longchamp outlet online not ugg boots clearance a oakley outlet greedy longchamp bags merchant louis vuitton bags with pandora charms magic spells; not michael kors a ray ban pas cher vain, michael kors outlet online sale vacuous speaker; ugg not a mean, lululemon outlet deceitful abercrombie priest; replica watches and mac cosmetics also michael kors outlet online sale not new balance outlet a uggs decent, air jordan retro stupid sheep in the herd of the many. uggs on sale No, cheap oakley and cheap gucci he, bottes ugg pas cher Govinda, ray ban sunglasses outlet as rolex replica watches well converse did not hollister want moncler pas cher to become one moncler outlet of coach purses those, oakley store not michael kors handbags one uggs canada of oakley sunglasses those coach outlet online tens of lululemon thousands of Brahmans. He wanted to follow Siddhartha, the beloved, michael kors the canada goose splendid. nike air max And in days louis vuitton to michael kors handbags clearance come, when swarovski jewelry Siddhartha burberry pas cher would air max become new balance shoes a hollister god, pandora uk when tiffany and co he barbour would ugg soldes join the michael kors outlet glorious, mulberry uk then moncler Govinda nike air max uk wanted to moncler outlet follow michael kors pas cher him as ugg italia his friend, his companion, his servant, converse his jordan pas cher spear-carrier, longchamp his shadow.


But sac louis vuitton pas cher he, Siddhartha, mulberry bags was louis vuitton not a source of joy true religion outlet for ray ban sunglasses himself, air jordan he michael kors outlet canada found no coach outlet delight louboutin uk in polo ralph lauren outlet himself. timberland boots Walking timberland the moncler outlet rosy moncler paths north face pas cher of the marc jacobs handbags fig ugg pas cher tree longchamp outlet garden, hogan sitting prada outlet in the bluish shade celine bags of the grove longchamp handbags of air jordan 11 contemplation, washing jordan 5 his oakley glasses limbs jordan retro 11 daily michael jordan shoes in the kate spade outlet online bath of repentance, sacrificing beats by dre in cheap oakley the dim shade north face outlet of the moncler mango uggs on sale forest, his lunette ray ban pas cher gestures pandora charms of perfect oakley vault decency, everyone's love and joy, jimmy choo shoes he longchamp still lacked north face outlet all longchamp uk joy ugg in cheap uggs his heart. michael kors outlet online sale Dreams ralph lauren and restless lululemon outlet online thoughts abercrombie came montre femme into ugg outlet his bottes ugg pas cher mind, flowing from uggs outlet the sunglasses outlet water cheap sunglasses of the river, sac louis vuitton sparkling lacoste pas cher from louis vuitton handbags the longchamp stars of giuseppe zanotti the nike outlet night, replica watches uk melting barbour from the michael kors outlet online beams louis vuitton outlet of the louboutin outlet sun, cheap oakley sunglasses dreams burberry outlet online came uggs to longchamp pas cher him and a restlessness air max 2015 of the soul, http://www.michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com/ fuming from nike air max the sacrifices, breathing forth nike factory from the verses uggs of the Rig-Veda, nike air huarache being infused into uggs outlet him, drop michael kors by drop, rolex watches for sale from the teachings louis vuitton of asics running shoes the p90x workout old Brahmans.



Siddhartha ugg australia had moncler jackets started ralph lauren to nurse vans pas cher discontent in himself, he louis vuitton had started to rolex replica feel jimmy choo that nike air force the love of moncler his father and louboutin outlet the louis vuitton uk love the north face of his rolex watch mother, and pandora jewelry also louis vuitton outlet the north face jackets love of cheap ugg boots his nike tn friend, nike huarache Govinda, wedding dresses would not bring michael kors him michael kors outlet online joy for ever juicy couture and nike air max 2015 ever, michael kors handbags would not ralph lauren nurse him, feed him, air jordans satisfy him. He had started ferragamo belts to suspect uggs outlet that his lululemon outlet canada venerable nike free run pas cher father and his north face jackets other teachers, coach outlet that the wise Brahmans burberry had already revealed to jordans for sale him the ghd hair straighteners most sac lancel and vans shoes best of their wisdom, that they had already filled longchamp his nike free expecting juicy couture outlet vessel burberry outlet with mulberry handbags their polo ralph lauren richness, and the vessel was not full, the burberry sale spirit mont blanc pens was not content, nfl jerseys the soul rolex watches was true religion jeans not michael kors outlet calm, tiffany jewelry the wedding dress heart sac hermes was canada goose outlet not satisfied. The ablutions were good, coach outlet store online but they were louis vuitton pas cher water, vans scarpe they louboutin did not moncler sito ufficiale wash off uggs outlet the sin, cheap ugg boots outlet they soccer shoes did not abercrombie and fitch uk heal the kate spade spirit's canada goose uk thirst, hermes birkin they louis vuitton did canada goose not thomas sabo uk relieve the oakley vault fear cheap jordans in hollister his louboutin heart. polo ralph lauren The polo lacoste sacrifices ugg and the sac louis vuitton invocation oakley sunglasses outlet of barbour jackets the gods new jordans were lululemon excellent—but was ray ban that all? louboutin shoes Did michael kors canada the sacrifices true religion outlet give tory burch outlet a nike sneakers happy nike air max pas cher fortune? And north face what lancel pas cher about air max the gods? swarovski crystal Was gucci handbags it really polo ralph lauren Prajapati christian louboutin who longchamp bags had created north face the retro jordans world? michael kors outlet online Was it hollister uk not polo lacoste pas cher the Atman, He, oakley sale the only one, michael kors outlet online the singular one? Were air max the gods nike roshe run uk not hollister creations, babyliss created like me louis vuitton outlet online and abercrombie and fitch you, michael kors handbags subject barbour jackets to nike air max uk time, mortal? replica watches Was asics shoes it therefore uggs good, polo ralph lauren was it right, was canada goose outlet it michael kors outlet online meaningful vans and nike roshe the p90x3 highest wedding dresses occupation to hollister make burberry outlet offerings louboutin shoes to nike roshe uk the gods? For ray ban outlet whom else vans outlet were wedding dresses uk offerings to be made, nike roshe run who else nike air max was louis vuitton to michael kors handbags be polo ralph lauren uk worshipped but north face outlet Him, mcm handbags the coach outlet store only michael kors outlet one, the sac vanessa bruno Atman? true religion jeans And where hermes handbags was burberry handbags Atman to jordan future be found, north face outlet online where jordan 3 did birkin bag He oakley sunglasses reside, where burberry did his eternal nike free uk heart beat, thomas sabo where sac longchamp pas cher else replica rolex but michael kors purses in hogan outlet one's own hollister pas cher self, air max in its bottega veneta innermost ugg part, in its air huarache indestructible abercrombie and fitch part, bottes ugg which christian louboutin outlet everyone moncler had michael kors uk in replica handbags himself? abercrombie and fitch But canada goose jackets where, mulberry outlet where was ray ban sunglasses this links of london uk self, uggs this innermost polo ralph lauren outlet online part, moncler this christian louboutin outlet ultimate longchamp outlet part? canada goose outlet It longchamp soldes was new balance not flesh chaussures louboutin and nike roshe run pas cher bone, air max pas cher it was nike huaraches neither marc jacobs thought nor vanessa bruno consciousness, thus www.michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com the swarovski wisest gucci outlet ones ghd taught. kate spade outlet So, where, where was it? converse pas cher To ray ban reach oakley sunglasses cheap this beats headphones place, ugg boots the self, myself, roshe run pas cher the new balance pas cher Atman, jordan 12 there louis vuitton handbags was another christian louboutin shoes way, which hermes belt was michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com worthwhile hermes looking oakley for? Alas, christian louboutin shoes and canada goose nobody gucci showed rolex watches this tiffany and co way, reebok shoes nobody ralph lauren outlet knew it, air jordan shoes not ralph lauren pas cher the mulberry father, and canada goose jackets not the teachers michael kors and nike free wise men, longchamp handbags not tory burch the holy air force sacrificial ralph lauren uk songs! moncler They insanity workout knew coach handbags everything, swarovski uk the converse shoes Brahmans burberry factory outlet and gucci outlet online their barbour uk holy books, they polo ralph lauren pas cher knew soccer jerseys everything, they had taken michael kors care of prada shoes everything polo ralph lauren outlet and moncler of chi flat iron more than montre homme everything, jordan xx9 the creation of nike free the world, the north face the origin of air max 2015 speech, longchamp pliage of sac longchamp food, doudoune canada goose of inhaling, of louboutin exhaling, the moncler outlet arrangement air max of the ralph lauren outlet online senses, tiffany jewelry the celine handbags acts of the lunette oakley pas cher gods, moncler uk they knew abercrombie infinitely much—but sac guess was it ghd hair valuable montre pas cher to know true religion outlet all louboutin of canada goose outlet this, not canada goose jackets knowing michael kors canada that ghd straighteners one longchamp outlet and canada goose only uggs outlet thing, the canada goose pas cher most michael kors important thing, links of london the louis vuitton canada solely nike free pas cher important guess pas cher thing?

nike air max


Name: SilverDoe_IsoBell (Signed) · Date: 05/19/13 19:04 · For: Three
A great story - I was sceptical of the pairing at first but your intricate storytelling pulled at my heartstrings and made me believe in them. Please keep writing!


Name: Aridan (Signed) · Date: 03/13/13 13:07 · For: Three
Is there more coming? I'd love to see it!


Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 07/19/12 20:20 · For: Three
Fantastic!!


Name: Lady_Rayne (Signed) · Date: 07/19/12 20:10 · For: Three
Oh!!! Yes!


Name: Maple_and_PheonixFeather (Signed) · Date: 07/06/12 15:16 · For: Two
Hello Jamie! I definitely think that you have a very strong start to this story, and I’m very excited to see where it goes. Everything feels very natural and balanced. So far, it has been a pleasure to read.

I love how you captured Neville’s character in only the first few paragraphs of the story. With only a few small observances from the bartender, the reader knows that this is the Neville we know from canon. By saying that he never wanted to inconvenience people, that he hid his tears, and that he stayed to himself, we see the young Neville and immediately think of how he dealt with his parents. He kept them a secret, not because he was ashamed, but because he didn’t want to impose his problems on other people. With your strong Neville characterisation throughout the first two chapters, you have made the story believable. Creating a relationship while keeping the characters in character is very important, and I think you have done it superbly.

In addition to the excellent characterisation of Neville, you have created a very likable OC in Molly. What I found interesting about her was that she was just enough of her dad to make her seem believable. Her lack of great ability to really notice the change in Neville as being something personal until the rumours and the not wanting to approach him about him definitely reminds us of Percy and his lack of emotional understanding. What is interesting, however, is that even within one chapter, there is character development for Molly. No longer is she the 17/18 year old girl who didn’t see the signs. Her interaction with Neville makes her so much more likable, as she has already developed as a character. While she still may not be overly in tune to people’s emotions (like mentioning Hannah when he seemed happy), she handles working with them so much better.

The character of Molly is definitely one that is relatable. By including small little details in how Molly is feeling, such as her awkwardness at the table and the swooping sensation in her tummy, you have created a character than I am sure just about any person can relate to. This is so important in a story, as you need to relate to a character in order to enjoy the story, and I feel that you have really hit the mark on this one.

I loved how the hints at attraction were already there for Molly, in the fact that she knew his drink and remembered the little things about them. I especially like how she questioned herself. It really contributed to the believability of the beginning of the story, and gave a good foundation for what will happen in the future. It adds just the right amount of foreshadowing that keeps the reader interested, but doesn’t give too much of story away.

I really liked how you contrasted the two chapters. The first chapter opens with control, fine drinks, and good crystal, while the second opens with a much bleaker outlook. I thought that this created a very effective parallel to how Neville and Molly complement each other as characters. The repetition of “he did not want to think about it” in the second chapter parallels Molly’s repeated questioning. The contrast exists in how the characters deal with it. While Molly is slightly more open to the idea of trying to figure her feelings out, Neville is much more closed off and ignoring any feelings he might have.

You have really created a very interesting plot. I like watching the character development and the relationship grow. The pace of your story is very good. It’s believable and nothing feels rushed. Every aspect of the plot really blends into the other. To me, no detail felt unnecessary or out of place. The subplot of Hannah’s and Neville’s relationship is one such aspect that blends perfectly. The triggers are believable and the plot feels necessary to develop Neville’s character, his past, and how it affects his future with Molly. From the way that everything fits together now, I am really looking forward to how Hermione is going to fit into this story.

While the characterisation, plot, and ease of reading make this story great, I think that the most amazing part of this story are the emotions. Every emotion feels so real that I find myself feeling them. The two emotions that really stick out for me are the awkwardness of Molly and the sadness of Neville. When Molly felt awkward, I felt awkward with her, especially at the whole Neville bringing her home thing. With Neville, I actually felt very, very sad. The moment where Neville is on the brink of sleep really got to me emotionally. I’m not sure why, but it totally made me feel depressed. This, I think, is the mark of a great artist – the ability to make a person feel.

Finally, I think that you have really created a story that can appeal to everyone. You give a little bit of everything. For those people who love description, you create a beautiful picture. The way you describe things such as the silence of the cloak is so poetic. Yet at the same time, you please the people who, like me, don’t want to be overloaded with description. The scene is described so poetically and the image is very clear in the mind’s eye, but I am not skipping over details because there is too much. There is enough dialogue and banter to please the dialogue lovers and enough basic action to please those who like the action. The story just perfectly balances everything.

As usual, I am fully drawn into your Neville story. The Neville you write never ceases to make me fall in love with him, and in extension, with your story.

Maple


Name: xxbabewithbrainsxx (Signed) · Date: 07/06/12 12:06 · For: Two
Hi Jamie!

Well, I thought I’d leave you a (rather belated) birthday review for your Nevlly, given I planted the idea in your head in the first place :)

I think you’ve done an excellent job giving Neville a backstory in this story. It’s easy to make it an infodump, but here, I loved how you presented Neville as such a broken and hollow man. We could see how formulaic and lonely his life was, with him going to the same pub every Friday, and it’s even sadder seeing it through Molly’s eyes, especially as Neville was Molly’s teacher. But also, the fact that this is a few years on from when Hannah and her baby died makes me feel even more sympathetic towards Neville, even when it’s from Molly’s POV. Her seeing him suffer and drown his sorrows in whisky made me feel so sorry for him, so well done there. And I loved how, in the next chapter, we got to see Neville’s side to things too -- the monotonousness of his drinking, especially He sat. Just sat. Neville is often your best-written character (given that he’s your favourite character, that’s not a surprise), and what I liked the most was that he wasn’t filled with angst or anything. He had a tragic story, yes, but I liked that you didn’t over-dramatise it.

But I think your other victory here is Molly. The thing that makes this cross-generational pairing convincing is the characterisation of both characters, but especially Molly -- her attention to detail, the fact that she knew exactly how Neville liked his drink, and even the way in which she read too much into Neville offering her a drink, all these aspects of her character were excellently chosen and really made me understand, as a reader, why Molly was attracted to Neville -- possibly before Molly understood that herself, come to think of it. Also, I'm glad the whole issue of student/teacher was addressed, because even though Molly had left school, I think it still is something which could potentially affect their relationship. I’d definitely like to see Percy’s reaction to it :)

I also thought you did a great job with the two settings -- in the first chapter, the Leaky Cauldron, and in the second, Harry and Ginny’s party. I liked the contrast between them, with the pub being quiet and the party being a lot louder. The humour in Harry and Ginny’s note to Neville was welcomed as a moment of light relief compared to the far darker parts of the story, and even though it wasn’t a major part of the story, I loved the mentions of Teddy/Victoire in there too. Teddy in particular was adorable, the way he was drunk and how he forgot his speech while proposing to Victoire -- it was a very sweet scene, and I felt even sadder for Neville because I knew that it would bring back memories of Hannah and his proposal to her.

Oh, and Hermione’s perceptiveness with Neville was really well done too. I think it’s more realistic that someone, at least, would pick up on Neville’s and Molly’s changing relationship, so it was fitting as well as quite amusing that Hermione was aware of it. So far, though, this story’s been quite character-driven, so it will be interesting to see where things go from here. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this so far, Jamie; you’ve really brought this cross-gen rarepair to life (even if I had meant the idea to be a joke). Dark!Neville is so intriguing, and you’ve explored his character excellently. I look forward to the next chapter!


Name: Lady_Rayne (Signed) · Date: 06/23/12 2:29 · For: Two
Yay, 2nd chapter! Omg, this is so sad but so good!! Keep on writing, I know I want more :)


Name: Alice in Potterland (Signed) · Date: 06/22/12 19:03 · For: Two
Wow, I legitimately love this. Your characterization is great - I love seeing this side of Neville. And Molly is the perfect combination of well-meaning and respectful. She's not too pushy. I can't wait to see where you take this story! A lot of teacher/former-student fics are really painful to read, but this is so fluid and natural that I'm really sold so far. Keep up the good work!!


Name: epiphany212 (Signed) · Date: 06/22/12 17:50 · For: Two
Ooh, I like this very much! You write a killer Neville, as I think I might have said to you in a previous review. I"m anticipating much more "former student/child of my friends" angst from Neville in future chapters...and of course, I'm really looking forward to how this develops, and especially, to seeing more of Molly as a character, since the glimpses I've caught so far are quite wonderful. :)


Name: Dad (Signed) · Date: 06/22/12 9:55 · For: Two
Interesting story line and very moving.


Name: xxbabewithbrainsxx (Signed) · Date: 06/17/12 23:19 · For: One
OH EM SQUEEE I LOVE THIS. Jamieeeeeeeee, this is so wonderful, every bit as wonderful as I thought it would be. Nevlly ftw, man!

Anyway, this will be a very short and useless review, but I just wanted to say how much I loved dark!Neville here. And Molly is lovely -- slightly forward, but still quite shy, and I like how she still thought of him as Professor Longbottom :D

I might leave you a proper review after my exams are over... until then, I can't wait for the next chapter! (Oh, and I am honoured to be in your summary, lolol.)


Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 06/17/12 6:02 · For: One
I love it! I wasn't sure when I started the chapter but as it developed I got hooked!


You must login (register) to review.