I very much liked the idea and overall feel of this story. The relationship between the two Black sisters is something that always intrigues me because they have points of commonality, but the fact that Narcissa is a mother makes a huge difference to her beliefs. I thought that aspect of her character was really brought to the fore in this story, as well as Bellatrix’s indifference to her nephew’s fate. I did like the slight flicker of concern Bellatrix had for her sister, though. It showed that underneath the ‘evil’ persona, there is still someone with a glimmer of care about someone other than herself or Voldemort.
There were a few errors, typos really. Like ‘Luicus’ instead of Lucius.
Narcissa could her herself killed.
and this analogy didn’t quite work for me:
This was like reasoning with a house mouse. Everything she said fell on deaf ears.
Mice aren’t deaf and don’t need to be reasoned with. They’re not stubborn but terrified, so if you talk or shout they scuttle away -which Narcissa isn’t doing.
I did find some of Bellatrix’s phrasing to be a little anachronistic, or perhaps I mean non-English. I can’t see her using the phrase ‘screwing up’ regarding Lucius’s attempt to take the Prophecy from the Ministry. And she came across as rather subdued in parts when she’s often given to dramatic speeches and grand declarations in the books.
Despite that, I did think this was a very good take on what must have gone on before the sisters ventured out to see Snape. Bellatrix’s reluctance yet need to not only support but to keep an eye on her sister were well written. I found it very interesting (and canon) that Bellatrix couldn’t betray her sister to Voldemort, although I’m sure she would have cheerfully sold Lucius, Draco and anyone else down the proverbial river.
Good story. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you, again, Carole. *hugs for the lovely review*
My goodness! I loved it! How can there be no reviews for this?
Your characterization of Cissy was so great! It felt like JKR had actually written this! I also thoroughly enjoyed the relationship these two had! It's nice to know Bellatrix isn't completely crazy- she seemed almost human on this... :)
Author's Response: Thanks for being the first reviewer. This story hasn't been up too long, but it's nice to see that someone's been reading it. Thanks so much for the kind words. I'm glad my characterization of Narcissa came through well. She's quickly becoming my favorite character. As for Bella, I love your comment. Almost human. Perfect. I have a soft spot for Bella and tend to skew her canon character, making her more humane than she's ever portrayed. I still believe she has a certain amount of love left in her and that is reserved almost entirely for her sister. Thanks so much for the lovely review.