Oh, this is beautiful! I love your words and your metaphors; the poem seems so lonely and longing...but the last stanza sort of pulls above those feelings, shows Ginny being strong and facing life anew.
Your alternation between long lines and short lines put very definitive breaks/pauses in the poem, which makes it read really well...and so do the indentations (and I even think I can tell where you would have wanted a mid-way indent, but couldn't have one). How did you do them? I have a poem with some indentations (not nearly as good as yours though!) which I want to post soon, but I don't know how...
Amazing poem! :)
Jenny
Oh! This really touched my heart. It was simple, yet powerful and graceful. Really beautiful. I do not wish to clutter such a magnificent poem with my unworthy review! So, I leave you with these words: Wonderful, beautiful, exquisite.... jealous!
Wow! What a gorgeous, lush poem, Alex! It manages to be romantic and sullen all at once without too much of each. Ginny has the same thoughts as other girls her age should have: does the boy she likes miss her as much as she misses him. It really grounds the poem and gives it a base with which readers can touch and identify. Yet you illustrate the angst over the war and what it means to both of them and their relationship really well. Yes, they both do have bigger things to worry about, yet in the moonlight, she can't help it. It really shows human nature to worry about things that should be far more trivial in times of crisis, which is a great tool to reach an audience, I think. The big things weigh and loom, but in a shadow within a shadow, the small things add up and sometimes affect us more than the Big Thing.
The motif of distance in comparison with the horizon is a fascinating one. The horizon is a tricky thing, so it really adds to the uncertainty of Ginny's situation. Not only does she have no idea where Harry is location-wise, she doesn't have a clue when he'll get back, and the imagery of the jagged horizon works well with that idea and really works well for your poem in general.
Overall, I think the structure works. I don't remember what it was supposed to look like originally, but the indented sections create an engaging visual effect. And all of this compiles into a fabulous poem. Very well done!
~Jess
GAHHHH< I loved this poem when I read it in PA. And that was before I realised the little tricky think you'd written that could only be seen when you highlighted (and I'm hopelessly trying it now). It's a shame I can't see that here, but actually it doesn;t matter because this is still such a lovely poem.
I loved the wnotion you garnered here. Ginny is a character that comes in for a lot of stick, but she doesn;t do much wrong except end up with Harry. Really, she's a brave girl who loves Harry, so where's the problem? (I should stop wittering on as I'm as guilty as anyone of not writing the pairing - sigh - >br>
Back to the poem ... I think the title lends itself very well to a Ginny/Harry poem because they were often waiting for each other and this encapsulates that so very well. This is a sad poem, but there's some hope at the end. The sun sets but it rises again and whilst Harry is still alive, and she's still alive there is always hope.
sighiness (yes, new word) Lovely poem, Alex. I always knew it was a strong contender for the challenge.
*burrows back to mad story* ~Carole~
