I liked this piece. It was great to get a look into all three of the girls' minds. Bella and Narcissa seem to both be alike in this fic, at least a small bit, because they both compare themselves to their sisters a lot. This emphasizes the difference between Ande and her sisters, since the other two are always comparing and she is more of an independent person. I think you captured Andromeda's and Narcissa's personalities quite nicely. I'm not sure about Bellatrix, because I think she'd be more lofty, but her character was pretty believable as well. There were a couple grammar issues such as commas being in the wrong place, but the mistakes didn't interfere with the telling of the story so good job!
This is a delightful piece, Pink Witch, and it should have received a lot more reviews. You have created a wonderful stream-of-consciousness for each of these three women who originated in the Black family and traveled in such different directions.
There are plenty of stories on this archive that are elegantly crafted with sophisticated sentences, but your story sounds as if an oral historian had simply stuck a microphone in front of each woman and pressed “Record”. And thus we get an intimate look into each woman’s mind; we see who they really are. We often observe someone else’s behavior, shake our heads, and say, “What could they possibly have been thinking?” And in the seven books of the Harry Potter series we see these women’s behavior and hear what they say, but you have taken that crucial next step, to figure out what these (admittedly fictional, but they seem real to us) characters are thinking.
These monologues ramble around, like people speaking whatever comes into their heads, but they manage to touch on quite a lot of details. They hit all the points, in a completely realistic conversational tone, with too many clever and charming sentences and phrases to list.
I certainly hope that you will continue writing; you seem to have a talent. It was very enjoyable to read your story.
First review! Woohoo! I really loved this story. I'm a sucker for insightful stories like this. I thought that I would like reading about Andromeda the most,mbut the way you described Narcissa was great. I always thought that she had a lost identity, and you did a brilliant job describing it! I can't wait to read your ther fics, which I wll be doing now!!
Author's Response: Oh my goodness!!! Thank you so much!!! I have always tried to get into the heads of the characters I have problems with, to make me like them more, and to at least understand what it is they are feeling. Thank you so very much for reading and enjoying my fics! Trust me, I love to hear what others think of my fics. Thanks again!