Chapter 2: Hello, Goodbye
Witty, funny, and well written. Your depiction of Snape is excellent. Snape is definitely not happy to see Mary back at Hogwarts, which makes it that much more interesting to find out what happens next. I look forward to reading chapter 3.
Author's Response: Oh, and you shall see more interesting things to come. Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: Charles Sinclair
Nice. Interesting comparison with the Beatles. Incongruous in the big scheme of things, but it totally works for a 15 year old muggleborn.
Author's Response: Yes, but this story is written for 6th-7th years (which would be 16 - 17 year-olds) and up. There's more to it than meets the eye (of the prologue, that is!).
This is an interesting prologue. I think one of my favourite things about it is that you haven't written the typical "Perfect Lily", but have given her some flaws. I would have liked to have seen more of why Mary is interested in Severus, but I'm guessing that will be in an upcoming chapter. I have to say I'm also curious as to whether Mary is a Gryffindor due to being a brave person or because she wants to be a brave person. Oh, I also really liked how you had her watch for that perfect opportunity to approach him which never came. It has a very real feel to it (and reminded me of my younger self).
Author's Response: Thanks for the early review! I know, it's just a prologue. Chapter 1 is in the queue, so I'm still waiting, too. :) I guess maybe it wasn't obvious, but Mary was roommates with Lily, so, yes, she would be a Gryffindor. This is my first story, so I'm sure there will be lots of flaws in my story! Yes, I know the feeling, too, about trying to approach someone when you're that age. It's tough being a teenager.