Reviewer: Dad
Date: 09/26/12 17:16
Chapter: Chapter Eight: News

Interesting talk with Draco.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Ruchira_M
Date: 09/26/12 7:44
Chapter: Chapter Eight: News

Oh dear, what was all this about? Draco is so enigmatic...

Author's Response: Not my favorite chapter, but it will all make sense later :)

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 09/06/12 16:45
Chapter: Chapter Seven: Dumbledore's Army

I read this chapter a while ago, actually, and have been meaning to review it since, but a big thing called SPEW got in the way, although it is hopefully making my reviews better. I’m sorry that this one’s not very good. :p

I quite like Dan. He has a strong moral fibre, and like Beatrice, seems to be the odd one out in his group. I feel like it was almost mean of Beatrice to sit away from him, although I do understand why she would do it.

You’ve shown again in this chapter that Beatrice is not a perfect character. She is foolish and self-conscious, and she still cares a lot about the friends she’s lost. She is certainly a raw human being, and I’m glad that she hasn’t turned Mary-Sue. :)

I kind of laughed when Beatrice found Luna a little bit frightening, although it sort of highlighted that people avoided her because she was eccentric. I think that you characterise all the main DA members very well. I thought it was a nice touch that Neville gave everyone the warning that Hermione didn’t, because it implied a sense of trust which was certainly clear when we saw the DA in Deathly Hallows.

I think that your last line was excellent, because it really echoed the first line about being excluded by her friends. It was also a very emotive line to end on, leaving an impact and making the reader feel sorry for Beatrice.

I have a couple of little nit-picks though. I’m pretty sure Marietta Edgecombe’s name was spelt with an ‘e’ on the end. Also, if Lavender’s relationship had been extremely public why would Beatrice not know that it was with Ron?

All in all, though, another great chapter. I’m really enjoying watching this story develop. Can’t wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thanks for your wonderful review! Sorry it took a while to respond. I am glad character development is staying good, I am co stantly terrified of crossing the line between "OC" and "Mary Sue." Sorry about the errors, it's been a while since I gave Marietta much thought :P Chapter 9 is finished, I'm just having some errors submitting it. It will be up and running by October! :P

Reviewer: Dad
Date: 08/07/12 10:11
Chapter: Chapter Seven: Dumbledore's Army

I just started this story today. It is an excellent tale of other characters at Hogwarts. I look forward to more.

Author's Response: I am glad you like it :)

Reviewer: Sapphires At Sunset
Date: 08/07/12 4:36
Chapter: Chapter Seven: Dumbledore's Army

Love your fic!!! You are now my #1 favourite author!~Anna

Author's Response: Aw, thank you! :) Thanks for reading it. :)

Reviewer: CanisMajor
Date: 08/07/12 1:32
Chapter: Chapter Two: The Child of a Death Eater

Oliver is a character with promise - you're doing a great job with him so far.

Also, I have to ask: Frog Choir?

Author's Response: I don't believe that it's mentioned in the books, but I have found them in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and Harry Potter wiki. They are featured in the third movie as well. Thanks for reviewing! :)

Reviewer: Ruchira_M
Date: 08/06/12 17:17
Chapter: Chapter Seven: Dumbledore's Army

Ah, DA restarting, wish this cvhap was longer. Update soon.

Author's Response: Sorry, it seemed much longer while I was writing it : The next chapter is already done so I will submit it soon ^_^

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 07/13/12 12:17
Chapter: Chapter Six: Not Like Them

Ouch! Romilda's turned very nasty! Turning a fight into a spectacle was a good idea, as it makes us sympathise with Beatrice. Slughorn's interruption was a bit of an anti-climax, but I'm not sure a full blown duel would've been allowed in the corridors anyway. I really like that you show Gryffindors as prejudiced and nasty as well, and I definitely thought that minions was a very fitting word.
Oliver's inner conflict in this chapter is apparent and it's plain to see that he has a conscience. His discomfort at the end was a good lead up to his self-realisation at the end, and you get us to pity him with your last sentence, which really packs a lot behind it. His hope that perhaps he can finally be with Astoria is really cute, and his being a bit less torn between her and Matthias is realistic and well developed.
Another brill chapter, and really looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Even though I'm a Gryffindor, I do recognize that many of them can be worse than Draco Malfoy (cough, McLaggen, cough), just like any other House. Oliver is definitely the most fun to write, even if he's a bit more challenging. As for Astoria and Oliver...Oliver likes her a lot (as you can tell) but there is still Matthias to consider... Chapter Seven is currently in progress and should be up soon! :)

Reviewer: GinnyPotter95
Date: 07/13/12 1:23
Chapter: Chapter Four: The Notice

What is word pad?~Nidhi

Author's Response: A simplified version of Microsoft Word. I use it because MW doesn't run well on my computer.

Reviewer: GinnyPotter95
Date: 07/13/12 1:21
Chapter: Chapter Six: Not Like Them

You are very welcome Julie! Another amazing chapter!~Nidhi

Author's Response: Thanks! I am glad that you're enjoying it!

Reviewer: GinnyPotter95
Date: 07/03/12 17:21
Chapter: Chapter Five: Friends and Enemies

Another excellent chapter Julie! Keep writing!~Nidhi

Author's Response: Thanks! Chapter Six is currently waiting for moderation, so expect more soon! :)

Reviewer: GinnyPotter95
Date: 07/03/12 17:20
Chapter: Chapter Two: The Child of a Death Eater

Wow! Great chapter Julie! I really like this fic, and the fact it's not about Ginny, Neville and Luna in their 6th/7th year. The idea is new and interesting. Keep writing Julie, for I'll keep waiting to beta read it.~Nidhi

Author's Response: Thanks, Nidhi! It was originally going to be about Ginny, but it ended up being about two different characters...I'm glad that you like it, though! ~Julie

Reviewer: Ruchira_M
Date: 06/10/12 7:13
Chapter: Chapter Five: Friends and Enemies

good chapter, wish it was longer but then I am greedy. Do update soon.

Author's Response: Don't worry, the next chapter will be longer ;) Thanks for reviewing! ~Julie

Reviewer: GinevraPotter00
Date: 06/09/12 21:36
Chapter: Chapter One: The Train

Brilliant Chapter! I read your bio, and I wanted to tell you that I'm a Gryffindor on Pottermore too!
I'm SparksOwl5836.

Author's Response: Thanks soooo much for your review!! And thanks for taking the time to read my bio! ~Julie

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 06/09/12 15:32
Chapter: Chapter Five: Friends and Enemies

Another brilliant chapter. Astoria seems quite the observer and I think you write her very well. As for Oliver being nice, well, what can I say except that it's exactly what I hoped.
But "Ever the Slytherin." That just made me giggle. I thought it was very accurate and it made Astoria seem well placed in her house, despite her slight outcast status.
I really liked your scene of Bea's 'friends' being mean to her. I could see a slightly more canon Romilda. Besides, I'm not much of a Gryffindor fan...
The resistance to the Carrows and also the Investigational Assistants as the reason for DA is a brilliant idea.

Author's Response: Astoria is one of my favorite OCs in the Potterverse, and I am glad that you like her in this story! Oliver is quickly becoming my favorite charater (sorry, Bea!) and I am glad that you like him as well. I considered taking out the "Ever the Slytherin" line, but I am glad that I didn't. I am glad that the Romilda vs Bea scene didn't come off cliche. Thanks so much for your reviews! ~Julie

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 05/28/12 17:11
Chapter: Chapter Four: The Notice

Well that was an interesting turn of events. I am going to have to reject your offers and review anyway. I only spotted one mistake in here: She's HIS girlfriend.
I thought that the Investigational Assistants sounded like a really bad joke out of a really bad crime novel but that's the way I suppose you wanted it to sound, from what Oliver thought of it. Matthias seems to be turning into his father's son though...I wonder if this means that there's an opening for Oliver with Astoria....
I like Amos Gamp. I think he's really nice and I hope to see more of him in later chapters. But Hogwarts isn't really Hogwarts without rebellious Gryffindors, so I thought that that was very well executed too.
Anyway, I am looking forward to the next chapter, despite the brevity of this review.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter. The Investigational Assistants was selected from a list of stupid names that I came up with (being deemed the worst) and I am glad that it came across as such. I mean, these are the Carrows we're talking about! As for Matthias, he's not the best when it comes to morality. Matthias is based up on the stereotypical Slytherin image, whereas Oliver and Astoria and Amos (I like Amos a lot, and he's going to be playing a major role) are the better side of the Serpent's House. As for Oliver and Astoria...well, that's for later. Thanks so much for your reviews! ~Julie

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 05/17/12 19:15
Chapter: Chapter Three: Muggle Studies and a Confusion of Names

Oooo...Bea and Oliver have met before....interesting....
Don't worry about the profanities: they make Bea seem more real and down to earth. I mean, I would be annoyed in her position, especially if my favourite subject was divination. The shouting is perhaps a bit much if there are teachers around, but I'll just assume they're not.
Her ignorance of the Slytherins is another grounding touch, making her the sort of Gryffindor that I want to see more of, not the hero stereotype or the Slytherin view (haughty and useless).
Muggle Studies does seem very realistic, especially the change from sunny and fascinating to dark and horrible and with the Slytherins. It also set up an encounter very well.
I quite liked Oliver, so it was a bit odd to hear Romilda call him awful. Erica being gossippy and get them all into a bit of a fix, or was it planned by the Slytherins...? Astoria seemed a little bit meek, but I guess that's the way you planned it.
I want to touch on the little school girl squabble at the beginning. I really like this as it was another very human touch. It was very realistic, and the explanation of the Wizard of Oz was very slick. However, I think that Erica's interruption was actually my favourite part of this chapter!
Finally, I'm a tiny bit unsure of why Bea has a different surname to her dad, but I assume that the one she has is her mum's? However, it's not that crucial and doesn't detract from the story at all.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am so glad that you're willing to stick with this story! :) Bea is so fun to write, as is Oliver! Romilda called Oliver awful because she is a bit prejudiced--she's also one of the most popular girls in her year, and I like to think of Oliver as being overshadowed by Matthias. Like most Gryffindors, Romilda doesn't know any Slytherins that well and therefore chooses not to like them based on stereotypes. Writing the beginning of this chapter has been my favorite part of this story so far! I wasn't exactly sure how to incorporate the Wizard of Oz thing, seeing as it is an American film, but I guess I pulled it off! :D And for your final question, Bea's parents are divorced (see ch.1) and she lives with her mother. Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, they really motivate me! :)

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 04/15/12 21:06
Chapter: Chapter Two: The Child of a Death Eater

Awww, thanks! It's no trouble, and I want to read the rest of this story!

Oliver Flynn is not completely the stereotyped Slytherin then. The hat Sorted him there for his qualities rather than his opinions then. He is best friends with another Death Eaters son, and yet is different and won't join in with discussions. He doesn't like Alecto carrow or Severus Snape and the feeling is mutual. He values friendship and comradeship over love, despite agreeing with the girl and disagreeing with the friend. I think I like him and I think he is interesting. Can't wait to hear more about him!

I also really liked that he fell asleep to the normalness of the waves of the Black Lake, because it is difficult to sleep in discomfort, and the blocking out of the changes to the world seem to make him more comfortable. This makes sense, as humans in general usually don't like change much. He could also know that the Death Eaters are not a 'nice' organisation - he doesn't get along with Snape or Alecto. The normalness of the common room was nice too, as he didn't seem to feel pressured to stay or discuss things with the others. If he was uncomfortable there, then he would probably have stayed.

Sorry for rambling. Just a few more little things. I loved the 'No more Frog Choir': it made me chuckle a little. I thought that the quick Sorting was a very good point which I never really considered. Finally, I thought that the password was very creative and a nice touch. And the Matthias Astoria Oliver triangle seems interesting, although I suspect that it is not particularly vital to the story, although there I may be wrong...

Author's Response: I am so glad that you displayed so much insight! Writing Bea may have been easy, but writing Oliver was quite difficult. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it. He is an interesting character and, as you can tell, is in Slytherin for a reason. I'm thinking that, seeing as Voldemort had already been defeated by the time that Oliver and Matthias were born, their fathers probably spent a lot of time discussing things with each other and this caused the two boys to spend a lot of time together as little kids. As you can tell, Oliver seems to somewhat look up to Matthias. Even if he sometimes doesn't agree with him, he never shows it and wasn't willing to talk to Matthias about their mutual feelings towards Astoria. As for Snape and Alecto...as mentioned towards the beginning of the chapter, Oliver has supposedly been flunking Potions for a few years by this time. Alecto, in my opinion, probably hates all children. But this might just be all in my head. I am really glad that you enjoyed the rule about Frog Choir! And as for the password, it means 'The Silver Serpent' in Latin. I believe that I'm the one rambling at this point (not that you were--I really enjoy your reviews!), so I shall shut my mouth now and not give away the entire story.

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 04/12/12 18:13
Chapter: Chapter One: The Train

Ohh, interesting premise. I love Hogwarts Missing Moments fics because so much we don;t know about that time, but we know it must have been very rough.

Bea is shaping up to be a decent OC and a true Gryffindor. I like the interraction between her and Romilda.

Great start ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm so glad that you took the time to review! At first, this story was going to be about Ginny Weasley and her sixth year at Hogwarts. But when I saw how many of those stories there were, I decided to take on a different point of view: Astoria Greengrass, Slytherin. But I just couldn't get into the feel of writing her, so gave up on the idea until it came to me to write about two OCs--a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. I have big plans for Bea and Romilda, so thanks for commenting on that :)

Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 03/25/12 21:24
Chapter: Chapter One: The Train

That was realistic, and the character delvelopment so far is very good. I look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to write your review! I am really glad that you liked it. I was a little bit nervous about posting this, but the urge to write this story just won't leave me alone. I am currently working on Chapter Two, but I find that I have less and less time every day for recreational writing. Thank you for your comment on Beatrice's character developement. I was a little bit unsure of this as I have a tendency to write with too much Mary-Sueshness at times. I am really glad that you liked the story and will be posting Chapter Two soon. :) ~PeppermintToads

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