MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/19/12 18:56 · For: Chapter 7
I knew it, I knew it. Ron's a big fat hypocrite. I hate to see someone suffer but I can't wait for Ron to find out what's going on with Hermione. It will be fun to find out how different people react when they find out about Draco and Hermione. Great chapter. Can't wait for more.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/19/12 18:42 · For: Chapter 6
I wonder what she's going to owl Ron about. Will she brag a little:D Or will she ask him about Christmas plans? At least Harry wasn't too hard on her. I wonder when Draco and Hermione will be see in public, socially. I wonder what Ron will do. I'll bet he thinks Hermione is in mourning over losing him. Great chapter.

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/19/12 16:15 · For: Chapter 7
Sorry, another thought after I submitting the first: I like the way you've brought Pansy and Draco together and revealed the trust issue between them. I think you would be doing the story a big favor by not breaking it. Perhaps a show of solidarity between these Slytherin friends that will eventually bring about change in Draco's ability to interact with Scorpio more frequently in future?

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/19/12 16:10 · For: Chapter 7
Wonderful chapter! The story needed this aside; non- Hermione/Draco interaction and an opportunity to set the stage for future conflicts/resolutions. I encourage you to continue on this course. Hermione and Ron must sit down with their children and Draco needs time with Scorpio. I hope you do not leave the "telling" to Ron alone...unless you desire to expose him as the short-sighted doofus he appears to be in this tale. Harry and Ginny's presence would be stablizing, in any case. I doubt Hermione would want her children to think badly of their father no matter what he's done...but I also hope you give the kids opportunity to call out Wendi on their own. Let them submit her to a child's critique and question her motives for getting involved with a married man in the first place, no matter how unhappy their parents were. Just a thought. Good writing, and good luck!

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/18/12 1:35 · For: Chapter 5
I'm glad they almost did it:D I think they both have something to consider now. I thought Hermione would stay for dinner but I suppose she was more comfortable in leaving and going home to think. Great chapter.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/17/12 2:21 · For: Chapter 4
I was getting breathless during the duel. I was reading faster and faster. The instructor did play a dirty trick. The only tiny flaw was that I think of Draco of being a man of the world. I think he would know about Shakespeare and who Romeo was. I can't wait for the next chapter. I'm so glad I noticed this story and decided to try it.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/16/12 22:30 · For: Chapter 3
I loved this chapter although I could see them going to one of the other's flats. That's what I would've done at that age:D I've got the biggest smile thinking about what I would've done. Not only are you naughty but you're getting me to be naughty also. I'm at work at the end of my work day and I'm reading fan fiction. I haven't had a drink but I feel like I've had Hermione's 3-4 glasses of wine--big glasses. See, I can't remember how many glasses Hermione and I have had. She has to get home and so do I:D You're a naughty, naughty doctor:D

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/16/12 21:32 · For: Chapter 2
That was great. I probably would've thought what Hermione said--about using certain positions in dueling club and the bedroom only:D Maybe I would've said it. It was funny that both Draco and Hermione ended up at home having to take care of themselves while thinking of the other. Can't wait to read more.

Name: Fynnsmom (Signed) · Date: 03/15/12 17:27 · For: Chapter 1
I looked at this story wondering who Hermione hooked up with. I really enjoyed this first chapter. Poor Ron--he's always portrayed as an ass. How stupid to bring a girlfriend to see your kids off, especially if the family doesn't know. I'll read further. Great chapter.

Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 03/14/12 2:40 · For: Chapter 6
I enjoy seeing Draco humble and feeling like Hermione is too good for him. I wish things weren't so awkward after their physical encounters, but I guess that will fade in time. I look forward to Draco finally opening up to Hermione emotionally and I hope that Draco doesn't have to spend Christmas alone. Great job so far...can't wait for more : )

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/13/12 17:00 · For: Chapter 6
Another thought: Draco and Hermione are intelligent people. Don't reduce their relationship to sex. Grow their friendship.

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/13/12 16:59 · For: Chapter 6
Sorry, but the start of this chapter didn't have the polished feel as with your previous work. Perhaps you felt rushed to get Hermione and Draco into bed? The hug/kiss at Defense Class was out of place as well: what happened to the tension? the battle of thoughts/diversion? Less graphic sex and more intellectual development will provide you with the quality and surprise of intimacy necessary to keep Draco and Hermione's personas authentic. Lots of baggage to unload for Draco: info that will provide heady conversations and unexpected choices if you care to go that way. And don't forget the interactions of Rose/Hugo/Scorpio. I suspect their friendships could have an enormous impact on Draco and Hermione's futures. Just a thought or two.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Constructive criticism is always helpful. I generally find there are two ways to go about a Draco/Hermione story - either spend a long time building up the relationship and have the climax/conclusion involve them finally getting together, or get them together initially and spend the remainder of the story struggling through the challenges they face as a couple. I'm obviously going the latter route with this story, and as I've never really wanted or intended it to be a novel-length 150,000 word behemoth, I needed to skip over a month or two of their relationship build-up, get them together and then move on from there. Hope you're still enjoying it!

Name: Amelia Riddle (Signed) · Date: 03/13/12 15:56 · For: Chapter 1
Love it

Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 03/11/12 0:33 · For: Chapter 5
Wow that was a hot chapter! Go Draco and Hermione ; ) I was sad to see her go so soon afterwards but I guess it makes sense for them to not be completely comfortable with what happened after the adrenaline wore off. I hope that they get a chance to talk about it and become closer emotionally. They both have a lot in common now that they are divorced with kids at Hogwarts. Hope to see a new chapter soon : )

Name: caligirl84 (Signed) · Date: 03/07/12 22:16 · For: Chapter 4
awww continue more! it's looking good :) have been wanting to read a story like this in ages!

Name: Melina Malfoy (Signed) · Date: 03/05/12 2:54 · For: Chapter 4
Fantabulous! Just build that sexual tension woo-hoo! My fave lines: "What if I were really attacking you? (italics) I'd let you do whatever the hell you wanted...Looking forward to Chapter 5! :D

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/03/12 4:46 · For: Chapter 4
Ah...too short of a chapter, this one! The dueling descriptions are good. Keep them up. The drink in Draco's apartment...not enough tension to preface the interchange before Draco's duel with his Instructor. Do not underestimate the value of dialogue: the miscommunication, double entendre, and POV. I know you know...
Looking forward to chapter 5...SOON!

Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 03/03/12 3:30 · For: Chapter 4
Bravo! This chapter was perfect : ) Nice portayal of how Draco and Hermione are getting emotionally and physically closer as time moves on. Even though Draco lost, I hope Hermione gives him a real kiss in the next chapter...can't wait for more!

Name: macheel (Signed) · Date: 03/02/12 19:23 · For: Chapter 4
very good! I hope you post again soon.

Name: sam_1034_lily (Signed) · Date: 02/27/12 2:12 · For: Chapter 3
I really liked it but it seems almost unlike Hermione to move on this quickly. I think she is slightly out of character especially when she responds to Malfoy so quickly other then that its really good and I hope you update regularly:)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I get what you're saying, and I think the answer is that Hermione had checked out of her marriage years earlier, and after Ron demonstrated that he's perfectly willing to move on, she didn't feel she had to hold back either. Sometimes these things sneak up on you!

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