That was great. I probably would've thought what Hermione said--about using certain positions in dueling club and the bedroom only:D Maybe I would've said it. It was funny that both Draco and Hermione ended up at home having to take care of themselves while thinking of the other. Can't wait to read more.
I looked at this story wondering who Hermione hooked up with. I really enjoyed this first chapter. Poor Ron--he's always portrayed as an ass. How stupid to bring a girlfriend to see your kids off, especially if the family doesn't know. I'll read further. Great chapter.
I enjoy seeing Draco humble and feeling like Hermione is too good for him. I wish things weren't so awkward after their physical encounters, but I guess that will fade in time. I look forward to Draco finally opening up to Hermione emotionally and I hope that Draco doesn't have to spend Christmas alone. Great job so far...can't wait for more : )
Another thought: Draco and Hermione are intelligent people. Don't reduce their relationship to sex. Grow their friendship.
Sorry, but the start of this chapter didn't have the polished feel as with your previous work. Perhaps you felt rushed to get Hermione and Draco into bed? The hug/kiss at Defense Class was out of place as well: what happened to the tension? the battle of thoughts/diversion? Less graphic sex and more intellectual development will provide you with the quality and surprise of intimacy necessary to keep Draco and Hermione's personas authentic. Lots of baggage to unload for Draco: info that will provide heady conversations and unexpected choices if you care to go that way. And don't forget the interactions of Rose/Hugo/Scorpio. I suspect their friendships could have an enormous impact on Draco and Hermione's futures. Just a thought or two.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Constructive criticism is always helpful. I generally find there are two ways to go about a Draco/Hermione story - either spend a long time building up the relationship and have the climax/conclusion involve them finally getting together, or get them together initially and spend the remainder of the story struggling through the challenges they face as a couple. I'm obviously going the latter route with this story, and as I've never really wanted or intended it to be a novel-length 150,000 word behemoth, I needed to skip over a month or two of their relationship build-up, get them together and then move on from there. Hope you're still enjoying it!
Wow that was a hot chapter! Go Draco and Hermione ; ) I was sad to see her go so soon afterwards but I guess it makes sense for them to not be completely comfortable with what happened after the adrenaline wore off. I hope that they get a chance to talk about it and become closer emotionally. They both have a lot in common now that they are divorced with kids at Hogwarts. Hope to see a new chapter soon : )
awww continue more! it's looking good :) have been wanting to read a story like this in ages!
Fantabulous! Just build that sexual tension woo-hoo! My fave lines: "What if I were really attacking you? (italics) I'd let you do whatever the hell you wanted...Looking forward to Chapter 5! :D
Ah...too short of a chapter, this one! The dueling descriptions are good. Keep them up. The drink in Draco's apartment...not enough tension to preface the interchange before Draco's duel with his Instructor. Do not underestimate the value of dialogue: the miscommunication, double entendre, and POV. I know you know...
Looking forward to chapter 5...SOON!
Bravo! This chapter was perfect : ) Nice portayal of how Draco and Hermione are getting emotionally and physically closer as time moves on. Even though Draco lost, I hope Hermione gives him a real kiss in the next chapter...can't wait for more!
very good! I hope you post again soon.
I really liked it but it seems almost unlike Hermione to move on this quickly. I think she is slightly out of character especially when she responds to Malfoy so quickly other then that its really good and I hope you update regularly:)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I get what you're saying, and I think the answer is that Hermione had checked out of her marriage years earlier, and after Ron demonstrated that he's perfectly willing to move on, she didn't feel she had to hold back either. Sometimes these things sneak up on you!
Awww man...Draco and Hermione were tipsy and it ends like that??? I see it won't be easy for our couple but I'm sure it's worth the wait. Hope to see a new chapter soon : )
Ah...a little mental distraction and Zap! the wand is out of the hand. Good job!! Perhaps a bit more description during Hermione and Draco's disarming practice: highlights of their spellcasting and blocking that moved them around the room and consequently resulted in their being the center of attention. Am looking forward to chapter 4!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I am not as good at writing action scenes; the relationships are my strong point, so I try to keep the focus on that. I do think you'll get some good action (in so many ways!) later in the story, though, so stay tuned!
LOVING this fic so far! Go Hermione for being so strong and independent : ) I hope she is able to work things out about how to tell the kids and I am interested to see where this attraction with Draco leads....update soon pretty please!
Interesting storyline with a variety of possibilities. Might I suggest you keep the tension palatable between Draco and Hermione? Create a multitude of interactions that scream the sexual tension without the act?? Develop "dueling dialogue", imbued with humor and curiosity. As you already pointed out...15 years have passed and our main characters have history to put behind them and discoveries before them. Good luck!
This is a great start to a promising story!I'll be following along, for sure.
"Since when do you even know what an emotional affair is?!"-LOL!!
Is great :-) Write more!
I like how you introduced the characters. very realistic. Could you maybe help me out? I haven't been able to get my story validated. I'm losing patience over it to tell you the truth. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Any help would be appreciated.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I don't have a whole lot of time for Beta work, but I'd be happy to look at one of your chapters and give you some hints, so feel free to send it over. If you're looking for long-term help, I'd suggest checking out the Beta Forums!