Reviews For Love
Reviewer: bee13
Date: 02/17/12 2:16
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aw, that was so sweet! The ending especially, was beautiful. Good job!

Author's Response: Thank-you! This is actually an old story, but my boyfriend sent me a love letter and I just melted. I guess I was in a sappy mood near the ending!

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 02/16/12 13:15
Chapter: Chapter 1

I like the way you've written this. The part about James' smirk being tattooed on her eyelids is a strong one. I loved that imagery. The build up to their love after years of her loathing him isn't a new one, but you've imbued some originality in this tale by not having a 'tragic' event in Lily's life causing them to get together, rather you've made this natural as she realises he's not 'just' an arrogant toerag.

I think the parts where she's reflecting on Snape are probably the most successful. he was her constant and it must have half killed her when she saw him change. How strong she was to make that final break.

I have to pick at something. The line about sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower at night really grates on me because night time is the only time this classroom is used, and so you'd only go there if you were an exhibitionist.

There were also a few errors in the story.

Then, one night, he leans down further, holding me so tightly he's always that's keeping me upright, and our routine goodnight changes. I think you mean 'all' not always. and

'I love you too James. You need commas before 'too' and 'James.' (That;s a really niggly pick - sorry.)

Nice story. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Wow, thank-you for your super in-depth review! It made me smile. Umm, did not think of the Astronomy Tower! omg. I laughed out loud at that. I will try and fix it! Your also right about the 'always' / 'all' mistake - but I just got a new macbook and it insists on correcting everything even if it's a tiny error. For instance, I type ftw and it corrects it to 'few'; I really need a beta to check that! And the comma too. Thanks for checking it out, I really appreciate it :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Makers of Fine Wands by CanisMajor 1st-2nd Years
Ollivander of Croton arrives in Athens in 382 BC with big dreams, noneof which...
Never Let Go by majestic_ginny 3rd-5th Years
DAUGHTER OF MINISTER FOR MAGIC FOUND DEAD Lucy Weasley, eldest daughter of...
Black Death by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
Three renegade Blacks, Alphard, Andromeda, and Sirius, must find ways to mourn...
FEATURED
Thank you for your time, Professor by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
It is April 1976, and Minerva McGonagall sits in her office, arranging biscuits...
Heat of the Moment by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor Professors
A night of paperwork, coffee, and burning the midnight oil... it wasn't...
A Splendid Fate by hestiajones 6th-7th Years
One failed photograph, two halved souls, and the numerous, marvellous machinations...
CATEGORIES