I loved the bounce between Albus and the Healer or whatever, although I absolutely hated that last line- not because it didn't work, but because that is such an awful thing to say to someone whose son is passing away! "You should be proud." Okay, I feel like its not very comforting, and would probably not like it, but I suppose they can be good words for others. Sorry if I offended you!!!!! I didn't mean to! I just felt like that it ranks up there with "Sorry for your loss." Words that seem to no longer have meaning after awhile.
But don't forget that I enjoyed the poem!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, first off. I'm glad you like the bounce off; that was Jess's idea (she's amazing). I'm sorry you didn't like the last line, but here's my reasoning: he knew his son was dead, and just learned why. Harry would probably be up to his nose in grief (since his son died), and in Harry's mind, it would be his fault. He probably hadn't taught them how to defend themselves against things like the Imperius curse and possession. So, hearing that Albus fought would be a good thing. And, in my mind, Harry and Albus don't get on very well. Albus is a more quiet type in my head canon when it comes to family, and maybe Harry sometimes cast him aside. Basically, I knew Harry would feel extremely guilty and I needed a reason why. So, that's my explanation, but I'm glad you liked most of my poem. :D
Ellie
Oh, this is sad and it tells a story. I love the way you've plotted this with so few words, and yet the tale is there before us.
You've managed to capture the despair that Harry must be feeling at seeing his son like this, and also Albus' helplessness because he can hear what is going on and yet is powerless to prevent what is happening to him.
Oh, I didn;t think he'd die, though. :( - Although that is probably preferable to being stuck in this terrifying limbo.
Lovely poem. I liked the structure, too. It flows very well and it's clear who is talking. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Carole. :)
I can't imagine what Harry would be like, but I think it would hit him very hard- but the italics POV is the healer . . .
As for the death . . . anything would be preferable. And who's to say it was the actual possession that killed him? ;)Anyways, thank you so much for the lovely review!
Ellie
Wow. This was really, really good. Gave me chills. The two voices gave the whole thing an awesome effect. Great job!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. :) Thank you so much for being the first review!
Ellie
