Hello! I found this story on hprarepairs; one of my favorite authors of all time (snegurocha_lee) recommended it on her LJ and said that Harry/Neville might be her new OTP (one true pairing) after reading this story... and I've got to say, I agree with her. I never quite realized how much I could like these two men together. The pieces of them that fit together--after all, their birthdays are so close together, either of them could have been the Boy Who Lived, and they both have lost a set of parents to Voldemort. God knows how we as fanfiction authors haven't put two and two together before this, but thankfully, you did.
I've grown to really admire your grasp of Neville. You just nail him in every story of yours that I read. In this story, he's the perfect mix of unsure!Neville and calm/gallant/warm Neville who always loves his friends (and *Harry*) so much.
And when I like stories a lot, usually the only critique I can come up with is to ask for MORE of the story. In this case, we run into these characters when they've already fallen in love. It's easy for me to see Neville loving Harry in that way, but much harder for me to see Harry reciprocating, particularly since the canon Harry/Ginny is so freaking passionate. While going back to the Harry/Charlie discovery might be a bit too much, I would have loved to see a few more build-up scenes pre-Neville's Patronus where... somehow we'd see hints of how/why/what specifically Harry appreciates and loves about Neville.
But a critique asking for more story isn't really a criticism, haha, so without further ado, great work and write on! :)
This fic was so great, I don't know where to start. The way you imagined their future, i.e. the auror training, it's very plausible.Or at least, I feel it that way. The way you divided the story into hours and days was very smart. It gave it a military feeling and you even used it to your to create humor, later on in the fic. You took your time to create a backstory where J.K. stopped and it paid off. I particularly liked Harry standing Ginny up and Neville falling in love with Harry during their fifth year. I had never thought about it, but it would make a lot of sense for someone to fall in love with Harry during that year. (I'm not talking about Cho here, I don't think she was really in love with him.)
I felt identified with Neville's role here, because it is a role I have played several times (sadly) in my life. Being in love with someone you know will never feel the same way back. Although in Neville's case it turned out for the best, go Neville! I think you did it justice. It was real, subtle and very touching. And the same things goes for Harry's feelings. He was very mature about it, even if he enjoyed knowing that his friend had fancied him for such a long period of time (which made it more real the fact that he was a bit egocentric). The last scene was the cherry on top of the cake. It's been a while since I've read a kissing scene that has made me feel so... tingled? Shall we say? It was lovely, truly lovely. I hope one day I can share ink and parchment with someone, the same way Harry and Neville did. Thank you for writing this.
Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't have much time to read so I just submitted that.
Though the concept is very, well, out there, it is a well-written story. I really like Neville and his antics, and now that I have put some thought into it, if Neville had become an Auror in JKR's adaptation, which we know he doesn't, I could in fact see this happening. Well-written, and at the time of the previous review I had thought it a very weird story, but good job in general.
??? What a weird story...
Author's Response: How so? Could you provide some constructive criticism so that I know how to write better in the future? Or is your intent to simply cause me anxiety over something I don't even think I've done wrong?
This is so lovely! Neville for the win!!! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Neville for the win, indeed. :)