Reviewer: GlynnisI
Date: 01/14/12 23:19
Chapter: Chapter 1

Lovely story! It's difficult to reconcile James and Lily from their rough beginning to love... but you pulled it off nicely! Thanks for the good read.

Reviewer: Callisto Anaxandra
Date: 01/09/12 21:38
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, wow, that was so cute. I especially liked the tentative hopefulness of the ending.

I was a little thrown by your use of the 1st person present tense point of view. I think that POV is a little too jarring, and you could have had comparable intimacy with Lily's thoughts using 3rd person POV.

Overall, though, it was great. The lily mittens were a nice touch!

:)

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 01/09/12 3:23
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was very sweet, especially the end! I enjoyed the tension and shifting feelings between them, and the background was well done. What made you chose the second person point of view, if I may ask? It was very unique. Nice job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I've been wanting to try the second person perspective for a while now, and when I thought up this plot, it seemed to fit together. The second person POV allows an examination of a character's feelings (Lily's, in this case) without the excessive thoughts that a 1st person POV offers. I wanted to make it so that the reader is able to understand and maybe even relate to what Lily is going through in the story, especially in regards to her hesitation at saying yes to James' proposals. At the same time, I wanted to create a sort of distance between her as a character and the reader - I didn't want her intimate thoughts to be portrayed too clearly in order to avoid the usual cliches of an L/J fic (ex. 'EW, IT'S POTTER', and 'Oh no, he's asking me out again'.) The second person perspective seemed to be a healthy balance between the two, and since I'd never used it before, this seemed a good chance as any. Hope I answered your question! Thanks for reading! =)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Research and Development by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
The Mirrorphone, the latest advance in Wizarding communications. Now, of course...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES