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MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: GlynnisI (Signed) · Date: 01/14/12 23:19 · For: Chapter 1
Lovely story! It's difficult to reconcile James and Lily from their rough beginning to love... but you pulled it off nicely! Thanks for the good read.


Name: Callisto Anaxandra (Signed) · Date: 01/09/12 21:38 · For: Chapter 1
Oh, wow, that was so cute. I especially liked the tentative hopefulness of the ending.

I was a little thrown by your use of the 1st person present tense point of view. I think that POV is a little too jarring, and you could have had comparable intimacy with Lily's thoughts using 3rd person POV.

Overall, though, it was great. The lily mittens were a nice touch!

:)


Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 01/09/12 3:23 · For: Chapter 1
That was very sweet, especially the end! I enjoyed the tension and shifting feelings between them, and the background was well done. What made you chose the second person point of view, if I may ask? It was very unique. Nice job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I've been wanting to try the second person perspective for a while now, and when I thought up this plot, it seemed to fit together. The second person POV allows an examination of a character's feelings (Lily's, in this case) without the excessive thoughts that a 1st person POV offers. I wanted to make it so that the reader is able to understand and maybe even relate to what Lily is going through in the story, especially in regards to her hesitation at saying yes to James' proposals. At the same time, I wanted to create a sort of distance between her as a character and the reader - I didn't want her intimate thoughts to be portrayed too clearly in order to avoid the usual cliches of an L/J fic (ex. 'EW, IT'S POTTER', and 'Oh no, he's asking me out again'.) The second person perspective seemed to be a healthy balance between the two, and since I'd never used it before, this seemed a good chance as any. Hope I answered your question! Thanks for reading! =)


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