MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Molly Millanski (Signed) · Date: 06/24/12 6:34 · For: Chapter 9 = Couples
Awesome surprise!

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 06/23/12 19:21 · For: Chapter 4 - End of a Chase
Draught of Living Death? Doesn't that insure the affected one is in a "state" of presumed death, not actual death???

Name: Molly Millanski (Signed) · Date: 06/06/12 2:16 · For: Chapter 8-Two Trips to the Continent
I LOVE your story! i love seeing things out of the eyes of different characters besides Harry... it's very good! When is the next chapter coming... i've been checking everyday when i come home from school and before i go to bed!? i wish i had the talent to write as good as a story as this one! thanks for the hard work and determination!

Name: hushpuppy22 (Signed) · Date: 05/11/12 2:45 · For: Chapter 6 - Separate Lives
I'm going to be very blunt here--there is no way that Ginny would cheat on anyone, much less Harry, repeatedly with various guys. She dated three guys at Hogwarts, which doesn't make her a slag (slut). Just because she's beautiful doesn't mean she would throw away her relationship with Harry, her self respect or potentially her career. It's unrealistic and very insulting to the character. If you wanted to break up Ginny and Harry, there are a million ways to do it believably. this is unrealistic because Ginny in canon doesn't hide from her problems and she actually has self-worth. She wouldn't fail to show up to Harry's going away just so she could party and screw around. that's passive aggressive and pathetic behavior. Your portrayal of Ginny and Hermione, who got pregnant by ANOTHER GUY WHILE DATING RON, is unreal. Intelligent girls with self-respect don't act like this.

Author's Response: Not worth a response!!!

Name: nevilleherosnape (Signed) · Date: 05/10/12 17:26 · For: Chapter 8-Two Trips to the Continent
:-) just makes me :-) love it!!

Author's Response: Thanks - Good reviews help to continue writing!!

Name: dawndragon2 (Signed) · Date: 05/10/12 17:13 · For: Chapter 8-Two Trips to the Continent
I love your book...I look forward to more chapters thanks!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review - Chapter 9 is pending MNFF, chapter 10 has been beta-ed. Thanks again

Name: Padfoot11333 (Signed) · Date: 05/05/12 14:32 · For: Chapter 7-Ginny Problems
Before I start I would like to say that I am not trying to be critical but I have seen you ignore other crit in previous reviews, and I would like you to take this to heart.

I do feel like you are changing these characters to some sort of original story. I think there's a difference between watching them grow and change and making them completely OOC. I can't picture Ginny becoming a wild girl while she's completely normal at Hogwarts--there's a difference between dating a lot of boys like she does in the books and being a slut like she is here. I can't picture Hermione becoming a completely shallow girl who dresses provocatively and has sex with random people, when in the books she does none of these things. I can't picture Harry giving up Hogwarts, which is his home, and going to America, and also hitting on Hermione every chance he gets. All of this is just so different from the books, so wildly OOC. I've read the reviews and I realise that you are trying to show what it's like to grow up after the battle. But this is not growing up, this is just not the characters that we've read in the books.

I understand artistic freedom and I think that's what you're trying to do here. But you're making all of these characters do all of these things and you're really not justifying why.

If you manage to give these characters the characterisation that we've seen in the books I think this story has definite potential to be good.

Oh, and while I'm at it--why do you have Neville marrying an OC when in canon he marries Hannah Abbott? Do you have specific reasoning for this?

Anyway sorry if I come across as critical--I'm really not trying to be and just want to help you write better :)

Lily xxx

Author's Response: Dear Lily, Thanks for the review. I think I have answered some of your comments in previous reviews - Ginny has left the cloistered environment of Hogwarts and is a naive eighteen year old in the cesspool that is professional sports. Hogwarts is like hight school (in the U.S.) - Harry has to make the painful step and move on. As for Neville's marriage, I wanted the Geek to have a beautiful wife, and I need him in France for a later plot twist. I think if you keep reading, things may work out.....

Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 04/28/12 15:16 · For: Chapter 1-Old Friends and New Worlds
It would be a cute story if Harry wasn't always hitting on Hermione...weird. No thanks.

Author's Response: Sorry about that

Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 04/25/12 4:50 · For: Chapter 6 - Separate Lives
I think you're going great with Ron and Hermione's characters but your Ginny and Harry have been a little crazy for me. Anyways sorry if I was ever harsh but as a teenage girl who LOVES HP I had to get this off my chest;) Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Dear September December - Thanks for the review - As an old man, I too am crazy about the HP series, but I also realize that all of these character are in a period of their lives when things change. They have left the cloistered world of Hogwarts and entered a broader world. Harry, searching for his own identity; Ron proving he can thrive as an Auror; Hermione searching for who she really is: and Ginny thrown unprepared into the pro athlete world. Also, as combat veterans, they do have to deal with a lot of survivor guilt. The last thing I want to say is in most stories on MNFF, the guys cause the breakups, so this time its the girls turn. Thanks again, and please keep reading.

Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 04/25/12 4:48 · For: Chapter 6 - Separate Lives
Hey:) I wanna start by saying I get really excited when I see this story has been updated and I'm always craving the next chapter;) But in the past two chapters I feel like you have been creating totally new characters than the ones we all fell in love with while reading the actual HP series. For example I don't think Harry would ever come to America for his education or come to Disney World if it meant leaving all his loved ones behind for an entire year. Another example is Ginny's current situation 1st) I don't think she would ever EVER pose provocatively, even if her captain was telling her to do so, if she knew anyone could see that poster 2nd) I don't think she would ever EVER cheat on Harry 3rd) I don't think she was ever the get drunk and party hard kind of gal I mean her mom would KILL her. I think Hermione's situation is more reasonable because the best of people always have their faults, much less than other people, but they are still there. And I really REALLY cannot wait to read when she and Ron face each other again

Name: Markee the Marauder (Signed) · Date: 04/14/12 22:02 · For: Chapter 1-Old Friends and New Worlds
The first two chapters were decent...at best. I'm not trying to be pessamistic, or stunt your artistic growth, just constructive critizism, I didn't like how Hermione turned into a mindless, shallow, shopolholic. Thats not her personality at all. And she woulnd NEVER do that to Ron. Ever. And Ginny was just a hermone crazed teen. It was all lust and no love. JK did a fantastic job at establishing love without lust in the series, and you have basically reversed that. Your writing is good, but not for the 4 characters you wrote about. And I dont believe Harry would have gone to a muggle school. Yes, I agree with him wanting to be "Just Harry", but Hogwarts was his home. The only one he ever cared about. He belongs in the wizarding world. He had nothing to go back to in the Muggle world. Anyway, that was all probably harsh, and I do apologize. I just feel that for future writtings, you may want to keeo the characters personalilties more in mind.

Author's Response: Markee - Thanks for the comments - What I'm trying to show is what happens to Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione after people are no longer seeking to kill them. After a trumatic event, like a battle, people change and grow, some good, some not so good. Yes, there is lust,(they are teenagers and discovering there is more than just snogging) not just sexual, but a lust to enjoy life. Harry wants more than to be the man that killed Voldemont. He won't get that in the wizarding world. Hermione is discovering her femininity, which complements her brain very nicely. Ron earns his own respect, without Harry or Hermione to help. Ginny leaves the cloistered enviornment of Hogwarts and the Burrow and will find you must be careful of what you wish for. Bottom line, people change. Thanks again, comment make better stories.

Name: StarKidRupert945 (Signed) · Date: 04/04/12 14:57 · For: Chapter 1-Old Friends and New Worlds
i am loving this fic so much it's hard to stop reading!!! this is sooo good :) x

Name: carmour45 (Signed) · Date: 03/26/12 10:12 · For: Chapter 3 -A Trip to Spain
I really did like how this story started in chapters 1and 2, but i feel with chapter 3 you have left Hermione's personality too much. If indeed this is the story of how they got to platform 93/4 then staying with J.K.'s characters design would be critical. I do not think on any level that Hermione would do that to Ron and not feel any guilt. I do not wish to restrict your artistic license, but I think if you wish to be successful in merging this idea with the ending of the series you should stick with the morals that made these characters the one's we know and love.

Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 03/23/12 3:47 · For: Chapter 3 -A Trip to Spain
Oh no!!! Hermione didn't take the blue potion did she????? Can't wait until the next chapter!;)

Name: baby54boomer (Signed) · Date: 03/23/12 1:52 · For: Chapter 3 -A Trip to Spain
The story just doesn't flow with the lack of interesting dialogue. This was a difficult chapter to read. And I did note that Hermione did not take the blue potion prior to clubbing...I guess that is going to be revealed in the following chapters?

Name: September December (Signed) · Date: 01/07/12 5:31 · For: Chapter 1-Old Friends and New Worlds
Loved it! Your Ron and Hermione are so sweet, and your Harry and Ginny are perfect. This was a total joy to read, and I can't wait until the next chapter. Good job and update soon!:)

Name: Weekendallstars (Signed) · Date: 01/04/12 8:46 · For: Chapter 1-Old Friends and New Worlds
Really good story can't wait for the next chapter!!! :)

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