Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) Hope you love the rest of it.

This is a cute, sweet start to a promising story. However, you could really take it to the next level if you improve the sophistication of your writing. You use very basic, simple, generic sentences and descriptions for things. Kind of study the writing style of successful authors and pick up on the details on their writing. Little things, like instead of saying "She ran up to Ted and gave him a tight hug," you could phrase it more like, "She bounded across the room and flung her arms around his waist." The second sentences expresses more specific imagery, and will capture a reader a little more. Does that make sense?

Please don't take this review in a negative way! I really like the beginning to this story, and I wish you the best of luck!

Author's Response: I get that. Every author is different, and practicing by writing fan fiction gives me room to grow. For the most part, I'm definitely not poetic, though. It's something I've been working on, and it's hard for me to really tap into. But I'm glad you still liked the story :)