Reviews For How Many Times
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 10/27/13 7:33
Chapter: Chapter 1

I like the sentiments in this poem. It must have been so hard for Lily to finally make the break from Severus and give up their friendship, and I think you’ve caught that very nicely in this letter-poem.

As a poem, though, I’m not sure it works the way it’s formatted. The line spacing is a little distracting and the line length doesn’t aid the flow of it as it’s read. I think it might have worked better as a prose poem, with all the lines together rather than a free verse with line breaks, because some lines are over long and syllable heavy.

There are one or two typing errors. It should be ‘disagreements’ not ‘dissagreements’ and you’ve typed ‘its’ when it should be ‘it’s’. I’d also change ‘alright’ to ‘all right’, but that is very much a personal preference.

There’s a real sense of how hard it was for Lily to say goodbye, so well done for capturing that. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 09/20/12 21:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

HEY!!!! Great letter poem! I actually rather enjoyed that this wasn't flowery and full of imagery. It was blunt, just like Lily is. I wrote a similar poem, titled Where is Your Heart in the PA. But what really drew me in was that Lily wished for their friendship to continue but found the strength to tell Severus that she couldn't let their friendship continue.

Spelling: "Dissagreements" only has one "s"

I have loved all you poetry! Great job!

Reviewer: Envy_I_May_Be
Date: 12/09/11 18:23
Chapter: Chapter 1

Poor Sev! I liked it :)

Author's Response: Thank you, and thanks for reading. :-)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
M.I.T.: Entente Cordiale by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
FEATURED
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...
CATEGORIES