Reviews For How Many Times
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 10/27/13 7:33
Chapter: Chapter 1

I like the sentiments in this poem. It must have been so hard for Lily to finally make the break from Severus and give up their friendship, and I think you’ve caught that very nicely in this letter-poem.

As a poem, though, I’m not sure it works the way it’s formatted. The line spacing is a little distracting and the line length doesn’t aid the flow of it as it’s read. I think it might have worked better as a prose poem, with all the lines together rather than a free verse with line breaks, because some lines are over long and syllable heavy.

There are one or two typing errors. It should be ‘disagreements’ not ‘dissagreements’ and you’ve typed ‘its’ when it should be ‘it’s’. I’d also change ‘alright’ to ‘all right’, but that is very much a personal preference.

There’s a real sense of how hard it was for Lily to say goodbye, so well done for capturing that. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 09/20/12 21:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

HEY!!!! Great letter poem! I actually rather enjoyed that this wasn't flowery and full of imagery. It was blunt, just like Lily is. I wrote a similar poem, titled Where is Your Heart in the PA. But what really drew me in was that Lily wished for their friendship to continue but found the strength to tell Severus that she couldn't let their friendship continue.

Spelling: "Dissagreements" only has one "s"

I have loved all you poetry! Great job!

Reviewer: Envy_I_May_Be
Date: 12/09/11 18:23
Chapter: Chapter 1

Poor Sev! I liked it :)

Author's Response: Thank you, and thanks for reading. :-)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES