I absolutely love stories that center around the events following Dumbledore’s death. I read a great many of them before the release of The Deathly Hallows. Then when the book finally did come out I was very disappointed to discover that Rowling wasn’t going to reveal the events of that night, beyond the fact that everyone survived it. Although, I suppose it still makes these stories fun and relevant.
Most stories I’ve read about that night focus on Severus. I like that this one is more about Draco. There is no doubt that night changed his life as much as Severus. It’s also nice to see him in such a vulnerable and confused state. Prior to this task, Draco always seemed sure of himself and played the perfect bad boy. Finding more to his character is very rewarding.
I like the idea that you had Draco ill after what happened. It’s a pretty natural human response to that kind of experience, but I’d never thought of it before. I always saw him as upset that night, in particular when he ultimately gets home to Narcissa, but illness never occurred to me. Good call on your part.
I was less fond of your characterization of Severus in this. Taking Draco somewhere safe to recover feels right, but beyond that not so much. In this story, he treats Draco much like he’d treat Harry, which has never been the case. It’s true I can’t picture him being especially comforting, but I think he’d be kinder, and at least keep the taunting to a minimum.
My favorite line: Voldemort would sooner take a muggle wife than forgive the failing of a servant. That made me laugh. Very cute.
Although, I must say, I don’t think Draco would refer to the Dark Lord as Voldemort, even in his own mind. He’s terrified of the man, especially after his failure. And he’s well aware of the rules regarding his name.
Overall, I liked this story. It’s a nice look into the emotional side of Draco. However, it’d have been nice if it were a little longer and showed the Dark Lord’s reaction.
It's a great look into what happened after Dumbledore was killed. I feel terrible for Draco because really, he's just been a victim of circumstance from the day he was born. And Snape's story makes him one of the best characters I've ever seen. Nice job!
Having placed third to you in the LC's contest for the Snape/Draco contest, I was glad to see you decided to put your story over here on Mugglenet. My style of writing is a bit more reserved, but I think you likely got Draco's state of mind spot on. He got his comeuppance and to say he had an epiphany is an understatement..