Okay, I have to rewrite my whole review because the stupid Internet just quit on me! Don't you hate when that happens? And it was such a great review!!!! So here's what I remember of it...
Rah rah!!!! This makes me want to take up my sword- er, wand- and take a stand! It strongly reminded me of all those speeches that coaches give to their teams in the movies. You have such a great command of language! And your sonnet was beautifully rhythmic! My sonnets in the Harry Potter world lack that element, but yours was flawless- and I'm not just saying that to be nice. I really did love that I could almost hear a battle drum sounding!
My favorite word? "Swath." It is now my word of the day! It has such a great imagery in such a short word! And it works so well for a battle poem!
If I strain myself really hard and have to find something to be fixed... It would have to be your second line of the first stanza. The rhythm doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem, and I think it's because of your word choice. It would work better without the "and" but I also realize that each line needs ten syllables. So, I would find a synonym for "strong" that is two syllables and take out "and." Or you can just skip this little portion of my review and be happy with your poem, since it really is a piece of art! ;)
Thanks for reading this review, though I didn't have much to say to help you further your skills. Your skills are way better than mine... :)
~Nagini Riddle
As you know, I'm not generally a huge poetry fan... but you do really write some fantastic poetry! And you're right, I think poetry really does work for the battle.
I loved the whole thing, but especially the final couplet, because I think it really showed the spirit of those who fought in the battle.
You really combined a lot of different emotions here... on one hand, it felt uplifting, but also sad, like with the line For others, it will be their night to die which just reminded me of the horrors of the battle.
Also the rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully.
~Katrina
Author's Response:Yay, you're back!
I like the fact that I can write poetry you enjoy without being a poetry expert or connoisseur. Personally, I'm not much of a poetry reader, but I'm a fan of imagery and emotive writing. The cool thing about poetry is that you can do that but NOT cake it in hidden meaning and layered themes. Sometimes, it's ncie to just write someting simple yet powerful. :)
Anyway that = ramble from me. Thank you muchly for returning to my author page.
~Jess
"...there is something just so gripping and epic about capturing certain motifs to represent something so complex and riveting."
Especially in sonnet form! I love sonnet form and this was great. Very powerful, strong rhymes, and I loved the final couplet - brilliant. You're such a great poet! ~Gina :)
Author's Response:Awww, thank you, Twin. You are so very much my twin, as we both love the sonnet and its power in the right hands. :D *squishes*
~Jess
