I said before that I didn't like stories about Al Potter but I actually like this! It's a good story.
You wrote a paragraph two times on top.
Author's Response: I have reviewed my writing to see that this statement is not true, but I thank you for your input.
I'm not really a fan of stories about Al Potter. I like stories about James and Lily better(next gen).
Author's Response: I am sorry to hear that, seeing as the story is clearly titled Albus Potter and the Phantom's Ring, indicating that Albus is featured as the main character. Perhaps you would do better to find a fic bearing a title featuring the names of James or Lily. Best of luck in your search :)
That was good :) I'm also writing a Next-Gen one, with Albus starting his first year. However, I would have like to see them on the train, and perhaps the Sorting Hat's song? On the other hand, super surprised to Scorpius being in Gryffindor. Can't wait to see how this develops :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Originally the first chapter was them on the train, but I just couldn't make it flow well enough. I look forward to reading your story, too! :)
Gosh, this was funny.
Albus is still vague for me after reading the chapter. I’m not quite sure what to think of him. I didn’t like how his first interaction in the story ended up with him being a prejudice kid. His quip about the annoyed girl disturbed me. I don’t remember how it was being eleven, but are we really that heavily influenced by the environment that we’d already use stereotypes? That just reminded me of Draco. . . case closed then. I assume that Albus acted like that because of the lack of Slytherin appreciation in his home, which I found a bit sad because I’d think that his parents would grow out of that. I just found Albus’s remark to be a bit stingy. Anyway, I hope to see more of his character in the later chapters. It is only the first one, after all.
To be honest, I can’t really say much about any other character due to the lack of their presence coloring the chapter. It was mostly about the Sorting. Not to say it was bad, you wrote it nicely. I especially loved the part where Scorpius repeatedly bashed the hat back on his head. He was actually afraid he got into Gryffindor! I was surprised as well; I mean, how can a Gryffindor be born into a family completely full of Slytherins? It seems highly unlikely, but not impossible. I’m interested in what you’ll characterize Scorpius as, and how you’ll justify him as a Gryffindor.
I think you should add more thoughts of Albus’s parents/family. When he thought over his surprise on a Malfoy being sorted into Gryffindor, it was the best place to put in a ‘wait till I tell Uncle Ron about this!’ or something of the like. I was also disappointed in Scorpius as Rowan earlier described an incident wherein she was called a Mudblood by ‘blond haired git.’ You’re setting up lots of situation which I would love to read your explanation in.
I laughed all the way. I enjoyed reading this, and I hope you continue to write! I hope the plot twist comes up in the next chapters. Good luck! :-)
Author's Response: I am so glad that you noticed all of these things! Okay, I think that the most important things you pointed out were Albus and Scorpius's prejudices. At first I seriously considered whether I wanted to do that, but then I thought, "Hey, why don't I do this and have this happen?" This will reappear in the story, so read on. Also, you said that you thought that Albus's parents would have grown out of their anti-Slytherin mode? Well, Harry and Ginny have, but I think that growing up with tales of Voldemort an the Death Eaters, Albus might have a few grudges--I mean, Albus grew up in a completely different way than his father did, and he also has a certain Ronald Weasley as an uncle :P It is unusual for Slytherin family's to produce a Gryffindor, but look at Sirius Black! Scorpius's character will be similar to that of Sirius in later installments, I think. Rowan Greenhill (the annoyed girl) is a highly interesting character to me. I can't decide whether I like her or not yet myself, but I do have plans for her and Albus's rivalry. Finally, you said that you didn't get a lot of character insight. I will work on that. :) Thank you for your comments! :) Glad you enjoyed it.
I love Next-Gen fics, and I've read loads of them. This is one of the better ones. Rowan seems like an interesting character. I have a feeling that I will be following this story from start to finish. :-)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Yeah, Rowan was inspired by a few different people and I have a feeling that I will enjoy writing about her. I am thrilled to finally have gotten this story published, it took four attempts to get validated :P