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Reviews For Hunters and Prey

Name: fi103r (Signed) · Date: 12/14/13 22:48 · For: Prey: The Strange Snake Bites
Great keep up the good work. Last death eater goes down. Looks like Auror tactics will get rehashed in the after acton review. Bit of a zero sum when the target has no scruples. Hmmm what is Fenilla up to? May we have more please sir?

Author's Response: Thanks. There are two more chapters, and both are being beta read, so you may see the end of this story before 2014. What is Fenella up to? You'll find out in the final chapter. -N-

Name: trigg (Signed) · Date: 12/14/13 7:06 · For: Prey: The Strange Snake Bites
Thanks. Great chapter. Ron's idea of cutting the girl's hair is brilliant. Hope, the boy will recover and Fenella is okay.

Author's Response: Thanks, you'll find out about Ross in the next chapter. -N-

Name: desertsol98 (Signed) · Date: 12/13/13 12:54 · For: Prey: The Strange Snake Bites
I was so happy to see that this story was updated again! Totally made my morning.

Another great chapter. I really liked how it was Ron who managed to free to girl. Lestrange was sufficiently cruel. Potter and Weaslys quick thinking was quite in charecter.

I must say I really really really really enjoyed Mark and Lavender's first meeting.

It seems that capturing of Lestrange' and its aftermath leads to so many helpful changes in the Auror protocol, love it. I really like that.

I could go on and on, but I best get back to work.

Author's Response:
Thanks for the review.

Ron's rescue plan is one of the few things which have survived from my original outline for this story. The circumstances of Mark and Lavender's first meeting was always their, too. But in the time between starting the story and this chapter the method of Mark's arrival changed completely.

There are two chapters to go, and you're right about the changes to Auror protocol.


Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 12/07/13 16:07 · For: Prey: An Owl and two Alpha Males
Oh what an ending, please write more soon.
Great story, good old Lavender thank goodness we know that she will survive.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. You'll see the next chapter very soon. Almost immediately, in fact. -N-

Name: fi103r (Signed) · Date: 12/05/13 13:47 · For: Prey: An Owl and two Alpha Males
Hi great chapter, keep up the good work.
One nit to pick Doxine would have worked to keep her persuit upwind of her location. When you are dealing with scent hunting stuff (large canines) you try to stay down wind of them to avoid detection. Also applies to hunting in general as most prey have good noses too.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I thought I'd said "upwind of her pursuers", I'll check and correct if necessary, thanks.

Name: trigg (Signed) · Date: 12/01/13 6:05 · For: Prey: An Owl and two Alpha Males
I was waiting for it. Great chapter as always. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thank you. More soon. -N-

Name: kpdoney1 (Signed) · Date: 10/20/13 9:45 · For: Introduction: Dogged Pursuit
I love the complexity of this story and the characterization. Really looking forward to more. Once its complete, I'm going to go back and read it again, just to enjoy the uninterrupted experience! How many chapters are left in this story and after this what stories do you plan on working on?

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
There are two chapters left to go, and I'm working on both of them. I hope to get this finished by the end of this year, and I will then return to Aurors and Schoolgirl.

Name: MsCrookshanks (Signed) · Date: 09/09/13 9:39 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Blimey this is a cracking read. Deeply plotted, cleverly executed, fab original characters. Waiting excitedly for the next chapter! Amazing work, thanks for writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The next chapter is progressing, but very slowly. -N-

Name: HermioneJean1 (Signed) · Date: 07/10/13 9:06 · For: The Hunt: She-Wolf and Cubs
I'm so sorry but I won't be reading the rest of this story. It is wonderfully written, but it's just a bit too creepy for my taste. I haven't been this freaked out since I first read Deathly Hallows when I was eight and got all scared when Voldemort says that Harry has until midnight. That gave me nightmares for a week. I still do and will always love your writing, but I just won't be reading this one.

I am sincerely sorry and regretful,

Author's Response: HermioneJean1
Not everyone likes everything I write, so that’s fine. I was trying for more action, and some angst, with this story. I certainly give Harry and Ginny a hard time, but it’s no worse than the trials JKR puts them through.
It really is a shame you don’t want to read it, as it will be completed very soon.

Name: SilverDoe_IsoBell (Signed) · Date: 06/15/13 20:09 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Please update soon! Love this storyline and really want to see where it leads. Great writing style and cool original ideas :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I hope to have the next chapter ready soon. -N-

Name: glendora (Signed) · Date: 05/30/13 23:25 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
I was rereading this chapter because I enjoy the story so much and I've been hoping for another chapter! In doing so, and thinking about the long critical review you got, I have to say that I mostly disagree with tagriffy.

I liked very much that Harry's and Ginny's patronuses change to become the same thing, and I agree with using the symbolism of the phoenix for them. I was a bit confused at first about the legilimancy mind-sharing (Vulcan mind-melding?) but I can accept as pushing reasonably at the canon edges.

What I wondered about was why the patronus alone was a complete antidote. Given the addition of dementor essence (how horrifying! how brilliant!), I'm sure there would have to be a patronus involved somewhere, but I would think that there should be something more.

It also did seem too pat that Luna and Hermione could succeed with analyzing the potion when the Auror office couldn't. That would need some explaining to finesse.

Still I loved the tensions when Ginny's yelling at Harry and the resolution when they both say "I love you" at the same time. I guess I'm thoroughly romantic. I also love how the press conference begins so humorously with Luna's irony and quick thinking and then ends in a superlatively stunning cliff-hanger. I hope you won't keep us in suspense too much longer!

Overall, I've enjoyed this story very much, including this chapter, and I look forward to seeing how you've plotted out the ending.


Author's Response:
Melissa, thanks for the review.

The Legilimency bit I think I can justify, because of the fact that Harry is trying to connect to the real Ginny, who wants his help. There is no resistance from Ginny, the resistance is from the potion.

There will be more explanation of the potion, and how it works, in a later chapter. There will also be an explanation of the Auror Office’s apparent failure to analyse the potion.

The next chapter is currently at about 3,000 words and is half complete. It has been delayed because of real life issues which pretty much stopped me doing anything for more than a month. I hope to get back to work on it soon.


Name: tagriffy (Signed) · Date: 04/09/13 21:16 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
This chapter, in my opinion, is not up to your usual standards. It reads like you wanted to do something, couldn't find a good way of doing it, and so just wound up pulling something out of your hat. The result is a plot bunny gone horribly awry.

I don't see any particular reason why Harry and Ginny's Patronuses should change. Nevertheless, I'm not particularly opposed that you did it; I have grave problems with the way you did it. Much of this episode does not really mesh with what we see in canon. Some of it doesn't even flow naturally from what you have already done in the story. Taken together, these factors break my willing suspension of disbelief.

The problems with canon. Legilimency, Patronus changes, and even potions don't seem to act these ways in the books. Despite the movies, a Leiglimens does not actively interact with whatever they see inside their target's head. While there is canon support (barely, depending on how you interpret it) for a Legilimens seeing a dream, Legilimency is portrayed, at most, as seeing what in the head of the target. A Pensieve journey made directly into the other person's mind. And a physical injury sustained by what happens in the dream? I thought this was Harry Potter, not A Nightmare on Elm Street.

I suppose a fight with Freddy Krueger ... sorry, dream Dementors ... would be enough of "a great shock ... an emotional upheaval" (HBP 16) that it would change one or both Harry and Ginny's Patronuses. But would their Patronuses change at the same time into the same creature? A creature that is not readily connected to each other? I could easily accept that Harry's Patronus becomes a stallion or that Ginny's Patronus becomes a doe; that would be consistent with both what we've seen in canon and what Rowling has said about the Patronus charm. Unless you're trying to say the real love of both their lives is Dumbledore, changing both their Patronuses into phoenixes just doesn't make much sense.

A Patronus Charm is enough to effectively counteract a potion because it contains "Dementor essence?" In canon, the effects of a potion are never counteracted by a spell. Only two things have ever been shown to reverse the effects of a potion: an antidote (i.e., another potion) and time (i.e., the effects wear off). If a potion could be counteracted by a spell, there would be no point in researching antidotes, as we've seen Hogwarts students doing on more than one occasion. Indeed, if a potion could be counteracted by a spell, that would pretty much defeat the point of having potions to begin with.

Some of this might be forgiven if we had been properly set up. You could have had Byers identify the Dementor essence way back in chapter ten. Then you wouldn't need the fiction of "possible Dark Magic" for it to be an Auror's case. Indeed, you could have had somebody go back to London and get the ingredient list of the potion Byers did identify, instead of having Hermione, Luna, and Fenella try to come up with an antidote based on what they think was in the potion (in fact, Hermione and Luna should have known better in the first place). Or if nothing else, use a Pensieve to get at Ron's memory of the potion recipe. You could have fed Linny the antidote the women tried and then used the Patronus Charm, then hand waved it to somehow fit Golpalott's Third Law. That would have still stretched credibility, but it would have at least looked like you were trying to keep things consistent with what we've seen in canon.

There are good things in this chapter. Luna giving the others a job at the Quibbler is pretty good. Everyone is in character (though one might argue Hermione should have picked up where Luna was going first, it is not out of their characters for Harry to do it); Luna's line "I'm as sane as I've always been" is a nice allusion to her line in The Order of the Phoenix movie; and the ease of getting around security is perfectly consistent with the books. The parallel "all Aurors alert" with the previous chapter is also a nice way of alerting the reader that the timelines are now synched up.

I'd like to close with a question. In the previous chapters, you had a Scottish judge issue a search warrant for a residence in Wales. Would that actually work in the Muggle U.K.? Given the semi-sovereign nature of the individual states, it would never work in the U.S. A California judge could not issue a warrant to search a location in Arizona, for example.

Author's Response:
Sorry for the much delayed reply to this epic review.

I can understand your concerns at aspects of this chapter, and I really should go back and re-edit a couple of the earlier chapters (and this one, too. There is a change, but only a slight one, in my proposed denouement which made sections of this chapter necessary.

Partonuses can, and do change. I did not want Ginny to become a doe to Harry’s stag. Nor did I want Harry to become stallion to Ginny’s mare. I gave a lot of thought to alternatives and finally chose a phoenix. Why? First: James, Lily, Arthur and Molly were all members of the Order of the Phoenix. Second: Harry’s life (and by default Ginny’s) was saved by Fawkes in the Chamber. Third: the phoenix is a symbol of both change and constancy, which I see as applying to their relationship.

In the books the only time we see Legilimency, it is being used to seek out memories. Although it seems that Snape does use it to try to read surface thoughts (to determine whether Harry (or Draco) is lying). This use was certainly outside anything we’ve seen, but in the books we’ve never seen anyone accept (or at least not fully resist) an intrusion into their mind. In every case, the person being invaded has been fighting back against an enemy, not facing a friend or lover.

Snape says that potions can “bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses”, so I don’t think I’ve taken great liberties with the potion. However, you’re right about Byers, and you’re right about Hermione, Fenella and Luna, too. Sometimes I make plot mistakes, and I don’t always spot them. So, thank you for this. I’ll go back and look at doing some fairly extensive rewriting in order to improve the plot. It’s always good to have your errors politely pointed out, and I try to listen to my critics.

Thanks for the final compliments, too. The Luna/press conference section has been written for an absolute age, much of the rest was written around it.

As for the judge, a warrant would actually be issued by a District Judge, but in the UK a District Judge does not cover a district, he moves from District to District and (so far as I know) can issue a Warrant for any property provided that that there are reasonable grounds for believing that “there is material (at the address) that is likely to be relevant evidence and be of substantial value to the investigation.” Someone who knows (rather than has simply researched) UK law may correct me on this.


Name: Ruchira_M (Signed) · Date: 03/31/13 9:24 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Thanks. I love Luna. Can I have a job too please?

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, and the laugh. -N-

Name: hanname (Signed) · Date: 03/25/13 16:23 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Can't wait for the next chapter !! Love the suspense, but it's still killing me.

Author's Response: Thanks. I’ll try to update soon. -N-

Name: kheldar (Signed) · Date: 03/24/13 19:43 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Already reviewed this chapter on FF.net, but I read it again here and still really enjoyed it, so I thought I'd drop a line a let you know! This is such a thrilling chapter, and is really a tour de force of your skills as a writer. Can't wait to see what's next!

Author's Response: Thank you.
Next, we start with Lavender sitting in a tent, after that, well, you can probably guess some of it.

Name: SoGranola (Signed) · Date: 03/24/13 0:32 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Eeek! An update! I don't think I've told you (today) that I love this story!another marvelous chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you, more soon, unless Lavender distracts me. -N-

Name: Emmasbiggestfan (Signed) · Date: 03/23/13 16:23 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
This was a great chapter! The repeated cliffhanger was a really cool idea! I was so excited when I was that u had updated this story! The Phoenix idea was really cool.. What is the meaning of it being a Phoenix though?! Will it have anything to do with a live Phoenix either past or future?! Keep it up!!

Author's Response:
Thank you.

The next chapter will start at a point in chapter 15. The moment Susan and Lavender's conversation ends. I've wanted to change their Patronuses for some time. We know that they can change (because Tonks's did). I also wanted them to match (like James and Lily's). But I didn't want to simply do it, nor did I want Ginny to end up with a doe, or Harry with a stallion. The idea of them changing during a desperate shared peril seemed to me to be the best way to do it, and the phoenix has so many meanings (including never ending rebirth) I simply couldn't resist using it.

Epic reply, sorry. -N-

Name: minervassister (Signed) · Date: 03/23/13 13:23 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
That was a tour de force, another wonderful chapter.
Phoenix patronuses, dementor spit, dark magic what more can you ask for in a story and Harry and Ginny friends again.
Keep up the good work.

Author's Response:
Thanks, there was certainly a lot happening.
Only a couple of chapters left (unless it's ends up being three). More soon, I hope.

Name: BlackAce (Signed) · Date: 03/23/13 12:41 · For: Introduction: Dogged Pursuit
Long time reader, first time reviewer.

I just wanted to write this to thank you. I read A LOT of HP fan fiction from this site and others. There are a lot of writers and stories that I follow and love.

However, your HP world is second only to JK Rowling's. I cannot get enough of your writing. Please keep it up and thanks again.

Author's Response:
Thank you for the compliments.

When I started writing, I decided that I would write in only one canon compliiant future, and that I would take my time geting from the battle to the epilogue. Galloping through the nineteen years in one blockbuster was never an option. However I didn't realise that I'd end up writing missing moments and next-gen too. I have no plans to stop writing. I have a lot of stories to tell.


Name: trigg (Signed) · Date: 03/23/13 9:30 · For: Prey: Lioness Snarls, Badger Baited
Absolutely great chapter and now I don't know how I'll wait for another chapter. It's a wonderfull idea that turn their patronus to a phoenix. Thanks a lot.

Author's Response: Thank you. As it's my intention to get this story marked complete by the end of next month, I hope that you won't have long to wait. -N-

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