That was amazing!!! Can you write another same sex piaring with a lot more heat and s*x scenes in it? No one writes these stories as good as you
Author's Response: Hahaha! Well, I did plan a few sex scenes for this, but they didn't work out. However, I have an NC-17 femmeslash drabble you might like. As we are not allowed to link in our review response, you might have to go to my bio page (just click on my uername) and click the link in my bio. (Yes, the one where I talk of a smutting marathon.) It will take you to the challenge entries. My femmeslash won the challenge - it's called Fireworks Inside. Hope you like it! :) And oh, you might want to check out lucca_ariana and Equinox Chick. They have femmeslash fics with great smut thrown in. ;)
Natalieeeeeee. That was beautiful. I especially loved the part with Lakshmi and Dominique in the rain. I think the best thing about this story is that you made Maudie such a decent character so I was torn between wanting Dominique to be with Lakshmi and for her to be with Maudie. I think she made the right decision, and you showed that Dominique was in love with Lakshmi but she had moved on.
I shall stop rambling now. Excellent story, Natalie :)
Author's Response: Sorayers! Just saw this review. I am glad you agreed with Dom- I know how fond you are of Lakshmi. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing!<3
Natalie! That was so gorgeous- its amazing that for the first two chapters I didn't know whether I wanted Dominique to be with Maudie (who is lovely) or Lakshmi, and didn't know what exactly Dominique wanted. And in this chapter (I loved Dominique arguing with Turner about the job) as romantic and beautiful Lakshmi and Dominique dancing in the rain was, the second Dominique siad, "Maudie," suddenly brought back the reality of her being in love with her now, rather than in love with her first love, if that makes sense, and was a surprise to her as well as the reader. And for a moment I thought that Dominique was not going to tell Maudie, and therefore leave problems for later, and was so glad when she did, even though it hurt her to do so. It shows how much she loved her.
I spotted the LOTR line :) I'm quite pleased with myself for that, though its a mark of how good your writing is that the fact I noticed didn't detract from the quality/ emotions of your story at that point. Argh I don't know what else to say, except that last scene with Maudie and Dominique was just so beautiful, the dialogue especially, and I loved the last few lines. This whole story was stunning- Deathlex.
Author's Response: Deathlex! Yay for LOTR-ness. Hehehehe. I found those last few paragraphs hard to write, so reading your review makes me smile. Well, the entire review makes me smile, so thank you for leaving it. It's great to hear good things from a fellow femmeslasher!
I know you worried about this, but honestly, this is wonderful. I loved so much about this chapter, but I think my favourite bit has to be when it's raining. Gaaaaaahd, I was so torn. I hated Lakshmi in the previous chapters because of the threat to Maudie (who I love more than life itself), but when Dominique was kissing her and aching for the warmth from the past that had never quite been resolved, I started to like her again remembering her from Cut. Then I went all teary when Dominique said 'Maudie'. You write so well. The emotions were so real and I got completely caught up in the whole story.
You also surprised me because I thought Lakshmi was going to be evil and tell Maudie before Dominique said anything, but she didn;t and I'm pretty sure she wouldn;t have done. Would I have to'ld Maudie? Hmm, not sure. Dominique has far more courage than me, but also more confidence in her relationship, I guess. Perfect characterisation of all three girls. They stood out as real characters and not paperthin fanfiction extras. Infact, all of your characters were done well.
Um, I don't know LOTR that well. Is the Gimli line -'my goodbye-and-good luck kiss'? (hides from elves)
She had loved this girl hard; she had loved her with all her might. She had loved her for being so free, so full of laughter and brightness. She had wanted her so badly, to have her to hold and kiss and make love to every single hour of the day. She was here now with her, and for a moment, everything else seemed so perfunctory, so devoid of life.
My favourite set of lines. I read and reread and my jaw dropped. You're so fricking talented. Gahhhh, I worship you. *ends review in wibbling heap*
Author's Response: Yes! The thing is Dominique is confident of her relationship and even though she falters with Lakshmi (which, I would too, I think, if I were faced with that great a temptation), she knows what is important to her. The LOTR line was "A merry hunt you've led me on" LOL. The original is "A merry hunt you have led us on" heehee. I am happppyy that you loved it. :) Thanks for reading and reviewing! <3
I heart you for writing this - this epic story of gorgeousness. I love Maudie to death, and I'm so glad she didn't leave Dominique at the end (you had me very, very worried there). And in a way I'm kind of glad for Dominique and Lakshmi's kiss…it was a small reminder of what they once had, and how it no longer really fit into their respective futures. I never thought you could create a character I would want for Dom more than Lakshmi, but you did. This story was absolutely fabulous to read and I'm so sad it's over. Please, please, please write more about them in the future…or maybe just feature them in another jaw-droppingly beautiful story of yours?
Author's Response: I am SO glad you and Carole liked the ending, because I was not happy with my first draft and I've been sitting on it far too long. And YAY once again for Maudie love. :) I will definitely be writing that one-shot where the two of them get together, and they will show up in my next gen chaptered, when I do pick it up again lol. Thank you for reading and reviewing! <3
What!? Not okay. You can't leave me on that kind of a cliffhanger!
And whyyy did you have to make Maudie so likable? I was so, so sure that I was rooting for Lakshmi and Dominique to get back together and now here I am hoping that Maudie will come home soon because her character makes me laugh. And I was actually proud of Dominique for not kissing Lakshmi. WHAT.
This chapter was so, so lovely and I have so many questions. Mostly I just want to find out about what Lakshmi's surprise is, and how Dominique is getting promoted without being snatched up by the Squad.
So I will be waiting and holding my breath until the next chapter is posted so hopefully it shows up quickly ;).
xx Ariana, who is already turning blue.
Author's Response: WHAT! :D I couldn't not make Maudie likeable. I intend to write Dominique and Maudie getting together some day. (I actually have 500 words or so written.) I am glad the story is managing to engage you. Ch 3 will be up within a week. I thought I'd finished it, but a few parts need to be recycled D: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the review! <3
Noiooo, I don;t trust Lakshmiiiii.
Ughhhh. I need chapter three posted very very soon. Oh MY, that opening scene. You just write those small intimate scenes so well. My laptop was smoking - ha ha. Seriously, I love the chemistry between Dominique and Maudie, it's just ... lush, and gorgeous, and beautiful. *sigh*
Lakshmi is intriguing me. She seems to be genuine about her feelings for Dominique ... but is she? I mean, why contact her now? Do I really believe the stories about the Vanished letters? Hmm, not sure. I'm guessing she's hurting, but I'm also far too jealous of her talent and beauty to like her very much. (And now I've just remembered what you wanted to do when you were younger - fashion design - sigh I'm very tactless, but then again, this story is so good that I am jealous, and happy because I like reading it.
Author's Response: LOL. I love this review. Yes, I wanted to be a fashion designer, and so both Astoria and Lakshmi have the dubious honour of being magical couture people O.o That's the only self-insertion I allow myself to do.As for the rest, we will find out in Ch 3, which will be posted very soon :) Thanks for the review!!!
OOOH, Enter Lakshmi ... I'm jealous already! Infact I'm jealous of the author as well, who always manages to write wonderful and normal situations between couples with great finesse. And then she twists her quill with deft assurance and leaves me gasping for more.
I love this. I love Maudie and Dominique. I seriously love Maudie (possibly because she's so untidy and disorganised I can relate to her - LOL). Lakshmi - hmmm, black dress, six inch stilettos, holding a swan and stunning looking. I hate her already.
Seriously fabulous because you make even minor situations sound intriguing and utterly sexy.
Author's Response: I am glad to know people are liking Maudie :D :D I do love her! Also, you spoil me with your compliments. My head will inflate so large one day I might fly off. (Actually, that sounds like a good plan lol.)
Natalie- sorry this is going to be another short, incoherent review but that was lovely. I love how beautifully calm the first scene with Dominique and Maudie is. It's very romantic, but also sad, and I love the idea of stopping time and you can sense Dominique's confusion. And then you're into the two weeks earlier, and I just loved the idea of the swans. It was so random, but also so amusing, and then when we realised about it being Lakshmi's gran's, before Dominique did, was excellently done.
Maudie, Dominique and Lakshmi all come across so well, and your writing is lovely. The idea of Lakshmi trying to help Dominique, and Dominique being angry because she wanted to be promoted through her own work, was very real, and fleshed out their characters wonderfully. THe one bit of the story that dragged, for me, was in chapter two with David and Dominique's conversation. When David appeared in chapter 1, you put a good sense of him across, particularly considering his small appearance, but in the second it just seemed a bit- as if it could have been done with indirect speech, rather than in dialogue. But that is a minor point. I really can't wait for the next chapter, and am really looking forward to seeing how the relationships in your story work out. Thank you (and sorry for this incoherent review)- Alex
Author's Response: You know what, I think you are right about that section with Merton. I was unsure of it myself. (This is why you must always get a beta-reader, I suppose D:) Anyway, I will tighten my writing in the next chapter. :D Thank you for reading and reviewing, Alex! I hope you enjoy the rest. ~Natalie
You are the queen of femmeslash!
I really love this story, especially for the characterisation. I love Maudie for her spunkiness and Dom for keeping her morals. Aah, but Lakshmi!!
This is really great, and I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Ahh, but Lakshmi! :D I am happy to know you are reading this and enjoying it, too! "Queen of Femmeslash" is a title I'd gladly own, but alas! A lot of my friends are amazing at it. :) The next chapter might take some time as I intend to rewrite quite a bit, but it will definitely be up before next weekend. Thank you for taking the time to review. I will be writing more Femmeslash once my exams are over. ~Natalie
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!
Ummm….trying to think of coherent things to say. I love Maudie, she's such a forgetful, all-over-the-place kind of woman. I like her with Dominique, which really surprised me because I thought I would never be happy unless Lakshmi was with Dominique. But people grow and change, I guess.
Anyway, I will be glued to my computer until chapter two arrives. Between this and Ebb and Flow, I think I'll be occupied for the rest of the week :).
Author's Response: YAY Someone mentions Maudie! :D Yeah, I love her, too. She's very different from Lakshmi, and I really will finish that one-shot where they meet. Soon. I am glad you like both story. :) Need to make a few changes here and there, but at least I've completed the main draft lol. Thanks for the review.
This is a really riveting story; I had to go back and read Cut too. Great work!
Author's Response: Thank you! :) I hope you like the rest.
Natalie!!!! Yay, I'm so glad you wrote this at last. Cut is one of my favouritest fics by you and I loved Lakshmi in that story. She's such a great OC and I loved her in this too.
I loved loved loved Lakshmi's Nani too. I'm sorry, this isn't a very coherent review, so I shall indulge in a heavily punctuated update soon!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: I was so sure I had responded to the reviews. *sigh* I am glad you like Cut and find Lakshmi great here as well. :D Things are going to get a bit tricky now eeep.