MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: hanname (Signed) · Date: 01/23/13 2:58 · For: Chapter 1
I liked this story. Some of the advice mentioned had me blushing, but I was warned.

Name: moniquecia (Signed) · Date: 08/08/12 3:42 · For: Chapter 1
really sweet!

Name: lovelle (Signed) · Date: 01/03/12 12:21 · For: Chapter 1
That was really nice! I mean, I can so imagine how Ron and Hermione are in love. I love the talk with Fleur, Not about the contraceptive spell or the V-spot but how she explained to Hermione that what Ron and Hermione feel are true love! I so love it! :D

Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Name: Amelia_Bones (Signed) · Date: 10/29/11 18:43 · For: Chapter 1
I thought it was very sweet. It shows more of who Fleur is underneath all the Veela beauty. The person Bill fell in love with. Hermione really doesn't have a sister role model to turn to about these things. So, it was nice of Fleur to offer and I think the talk was very sweet and tender. I'm ok with the lending of the nightie. It's not like Fleur was sharing her knickers! That would have been all sorts of wrong!
And, I always imagined that Hermione and Ron would've just slept together in his bed after the battle was over. Everything was in such disarray. The castle was a shambles. They had been on the run for ages and everyone had to be exhausted. So, I could just see it happening.
I'd love to see Ron's little talk with Bill. I understand that might be a little more difficult to write, though.
Thanks for the lovely read.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it.

Name: BookWorm530 (Signed) · Date: 10/12/11 2:48 · For: Chapter 1
What a unique idea! A little romantic escape to Shell Cottage : ) It is so true that the Weasley household is way too hectic for any romance...loved this fic!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Name: Hermione2772 (Signed) · Date: 10/11/11 2:10 · For: Chapter 1
You need to write more!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, I will!

Name: Hplover0695 (Signed) · Date: 10/10/11 23:32 · For: Chapter 1
I love it!! Your Hermione, Fleur, Ron, etc. were all beautifully written; I really think you captured the essence of each of them quite nicely. The one part I thought was a bit...strange...was the bit about Charlie telling Ron to man up or he (Charlie) would ask out Hermione himself. According to JKR, Charlie left Hogwarts the year before the trio arrived, meaning he was probably 18 by the time they started. This makes him a full seven years older than Hermione, who I'm guessing is still 18-19 in this story-a 25-26 year old with an 18-19 year old just doesn't seem to fit into JKR's world. But then again, Tonks and Lupin are the perfect counter to my argument. Ah, well... Otherwise, I really adored this story. It would be great if you made it into a kind of micro-mini series, writing a story about Ginny/Harry preparing themselves for the first time. Ginny is often written as confident and bold, with Harry being...not timid, persay, but somewhat more cautious then Ginny. I think you could go a whole multitude of directions with this type of story-you could stick with their fanfiction attributes or use the opportunity to show Ginny's quieter, more girly, or somewhat less brave side. Even if you keep this as a solo story, though, I truly think it's great. Perfect balance of fluff/content-well done!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind words!! As I mentioned in my response below, I only meant the Charlie line as a joke between brothers--he wouldn't actually have made a move on Hermione--but I guess I didn't make that clear enough. Thanks also for your suggestions. Right now I am fixated on Ron/Hermione (I relate to Hermione far more than Ginny), but I probably should start exploring some other relationships.

Name: Chemie (Signed) · Date: 10/10/11 22:42 · For: Chapter 1
Really loved this fic. The correct amount of fluff and smutt :)
Anyway, I think Ron and Hermione were very in character. The only thing I didn't like was Hermione asking Fleur for lingerie... I don't know, just felt a bit awkward... and not very hygenic... but that is just me ;)

Keep them coming!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Duly noted about the lingerie, but hopefully they have some very powerful wizarding detergent. ;-)

Name: ProfessorBinns79 (Signed) · Date: 10/10/11 21:17 · For: Chapter 1
Lovely little story! While I would love to read Ron's conversation with Bill as well, I appreciate the insight into the feminine spirit as these two very different women were able to bond over something so personal.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hmm, now I'll have to think some more about the Ron/Bill side of this story. It's much easier for me to write Hermione, since I relate to her character so much in the books.

Name: Evora (Signed) · Date: 10/10/11 19:11 · For: Chapter 1
I thought that the story was very sweet and honest. I can’t help but notice how neat the writing is. Everything was in perfect order, in a sequence that isn’t confusing to the reader.

What I like most in your story was how you built it up. It started with a place that they eventually came at the end for different reasons. They came to the Shell Cottage, a place where they could get a “chance to express that love.” It’s just so… honest. I love how you somehow described their lust for each other as the next step for their relationship. I find it really sweet that the basis for the relationship of Ron and Hermione was founded on innocence. That it wasn’t lust, or appearance that came first; it was the person itself. I absolutely loved that. I think you portrayed their romance really well. You didn’t exaggerate or underestimate their chemistry – you made it seem factual. Like it was just the way it is. That it was always like that, and will always be. I’m a sucker for those kinds of stories.

Another thing I found interesting – the story wasn’t filled with as much fluff as I thought it would be. Actually, there wasn’t much fluff until Fleur began talking about true love. I thought that maybe it was a bit na´ve of her to think that, but I don’t really have a basis for that. I just felt that a grown woman who is only in her first year of marriage saying that was, yeah, na´ve. But her circumstances are different from the real world, so I could understand. You did explain it that Fleur, who had Veela blood in her body, would find it hard to find someone whom she could her entire life with when it was the youth of her beauty that kept most of the men’s attention. I loved that you plugged that in the story. Two women who cannot be more different had insecurities that brought them together. Hermione thought she was not beautiful while Fleur had thought no one would love her for the person that she was. You addressed each of their insecurities excellently, and countered it with a scene that bonded them together. The whole scene was lovely.

There is one thing that bothered me though. Charlie Weasley saying that he would pursue her, were it not for Ron? I don’t know about that. I mean, I get it that maybe he’s just all words, and he would never actually pursue Hermione, but it’s still a bit wrong. He’s not only going to go after the woman that his own brother loved, but he’s also seven years her senior. Maybe in the Wizarding World, it was acceptable since inbreeding was sort of was (but that was in different times), but I still highly doubt it because even our modern community is skittish with big age gaps.

But besides that, the story was a pleasure to read. Ron is my favourite character in the Potterverse, and you did him justice here. I can still see his temper flaring up (like in that part where Percy had interrupted), but his softness and gentleness towards Hermione was so adorable, and so very much like him. You mentioned that there were still squabbles going between them, but that was how it was and it wouldn’t change how much they love each other. I feel like I’m the one here inserting the fluff. Anyway, it was a very lovely story and I hope you keep writing more. :-)


Author's Response: Thanks for such a thoughtful review! I really appreciate it. I see what you mean about the Charlie thing, but I meant it more as brothers joking around and teasing their little brother. Charlie was just basically saying, "Hey, little Hermione has grown up to be quite a babe! When is Ron going to realize he's crazy about her?" As Fleur said, he wouldn't have actually done anything about it. Thanks again for reading and sharing your wonderful feedback!

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