No matter how many times i read this, each time i end up with tears. great job.
"see you later George,"
"see you later Fred."
That's too sad :/ Great job on a very touching piece!
Omg. On the verge of tears.
Excellent story! Characters were believable. Made me feel the emotions going thru the characters' heads. I really liked Fleur & Bill's moment. Would be interesting to hear Colin Creevy's thots too. Well done!
This was an interesting and well-written story. I think what you captured best is the love these people have for each other, and how horrible it is for them to even imagine losing each other, and yet they are still willing to fight.
The present tense is very effective throughout the story, because it really forces the reader to be in the moment with these characters.
I think Minerva was a great starting place. She's one of those characters who in my mind is simply a part of Hogwarts, much in the way Dumbledore was, and she becomes a form of leader in the Battle. Just a little nitpick - you wrote She had spent forty-one years of her life here - it would make more sense if you wrote "She has...", as the rest is in present tense. She will do her duty to her school. - That was a perfect ending to her section, and it really moved me.
I think this line - Because never before has he said it, knowing they may well be the last words he ever gives her. - was the best part of Bill and Fleur's section, because that really sums up what I said at the beginning - he loves her and doesn't dare to think of life without her, yet he still fights.
I liked your Remus - the first time he appeared, he was appropriately pessimistic, eg the line - And who waits to oppose them? A mixed group of students, teachers, and members of the Order of the Phoenix. Those that are left, that is. Although I think I preferred his dialogue with Kingsley... I just think you wrote that better.
I loved Molly's mothering instincts in her section. It was especially heart-breaking knowing what will happen in the Battle. I think you really nailed her character though.
Fred and George's section was perhaps the best in the whole piece. It was short, but it really had that spark of life and humour which is so much part of their characters, and the final lines of that part were just heart-breaking. In a way, I think that might have been a better ending for the story.
However, the ending you did write is also good, particularly the repetition of "You have until midnight", but somehow I don't think it's quite as poignant as "See you later, Fred", knowing what happens in the Battle.
This was well-written, well-characterised and moving. Great job :).
Oh... Well isn't this heart-breaking? Particularly Remus, his words to Kingsley are very poignant :'(
I think your characterisation is brilliant - all very believeable. I particularly like Fred and George, falling back on laughter in the face of anything, and Mcgonagall's stoicism - I feel this is quite accurate to how they would have behaved.
"The words fall from his mouth, crawling into the night." - this is possibly my favourite line from the whole thing; the words "crawling" really conveys the desperation of the whole situation.
What I would have liked to have seen is a bit more of Kingsley - he sort of just reacts to Remus, and it would have been interesting to hear his personal feelings about the upcoming battle.
But overall, this is lovely, really well-written. Good job! :)
This is well written and the story is believable. Charecters stayed true to how they were originally written. Points for making me get teary eyed at work.